Pedigree Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 (edited) Long story short, there's a girl I've known for 2 years on an aquaintance/classmate basis. Always have liked her warm personality though I don't see of her enough to begin thinking in that direction. Recently, I've been bumping into her alot and she has been: 1. Very keen for me to go on a harbour cruise with her and he club at Uni even when I'm not part of the club. I declined. 2. She wanted notes for a subject that I did last year but that she did this year. I said sure, I got it on my pc, I'll just e-mail it. But she preferred to meet me in person for lunch and gave me her number. So I met her today for lunch (just the 2 of us) with the impression that I had received signals. I noticed she mirrored what I was doing, laughed at my jokes, found that we got a lot in common, and didn't talk about her problem with guys. In short, I thought that this was going to be a precursor to a proper date. She liked animals so I transitioned that into asking her if she wants to go to the zoo with me. She said she'll be busy and I kept a poker face thinking to myself "Well, at least I tried". Then somewhere along the line after this, she revealed that she had just broken up recently with her bf of 6 years. She didn't tell it to me like she was breaking a news (ie. I got something to tell you, I just broke up) but more subtle ("First time being single in 6 years and I'm just trying to enjoy it" The question is, how should I take this? Did I get an "I'm not into you" or did I get a "You can try again in the future, I'm not ready now" or did I somehow someway made it to the friendzone? Edited April 14, 2010 by Pedigree
Rorschach Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 In the words of the magic 8-ball 'ask again later' Doesn't sound like she friendzoned you to me (though you really should have gone on the trip *smacks on head*) but she probably doesn't want to feel like she's moving to fast. And trust me you don't want to be the rebound guy anyway. Respect her wishes, take it slow, sounds like she's interested in you.
Jambalaya Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Oh and if she likes animals, don't take her to the zoo - they're massively depressing places for people who like animals. Offer to take her to a sanctuary instead.
Author Pedigree Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 *smacks himself on head for not going on cruise* Yeah, unfortunately I got other things to do on the day of that cruise. In hindsight probably should have gone if only to get her better. *smacks himself on head again for offering zoo* Oh well, looks like time for strategic retreat.
DustySaltus Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 If you're looking for fun at this point she may be your girl. If you are looking for a relationship, she isn't. So based upon this you have a decision to make. I definetly think there is some kind of feeling there. If you continue to hang out with her and try to force things you risk losing everything, friendship and potential gf down the line. If you disappear for a while you also risk losing her completely but have a chance of being a potential BF down the line when she has her act together.
boogieboy Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Sounds like you want to take her seriously, but she doesnt see you as that kind of material. Also looks like she kinda liked you but you didnt so "it" for her. So dont bother, contacting her anymore. Leave it at that, and let her look for you. Be to busy for her. Dont be a rebound.
Author Pedigree Posted April 15, 2010 Author Posted April 15, 2010 Thanks for the posts. @DustySaltus: I'm very aware of my options. Not being subjective but I do get the impression that there is a feeling there or else she'd leave it at brushing me off without giving code that she's just not ready yet. @Boogieboy: It's hard not to consider her seriously when 1) I didn't know her situation and 2) she just keeps on ticking the the boxes in terms of signals. But in saying that, I agree with you both that I don't want to be a rebound. My best bet is to keep my distance and let whatever happens happens. If it turns out good, that's cool if it doesn't, well I got plenty of things going on in my life to keep me from dwelling on it.
Author Pedigree Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 Rather than start a new thread and explain my situation all over again, I'll just give an update/ask a question. I had lunch again with her today after not seeing her for a few weeks (I'll be lying if I said that part of not seeing her had nothing to do with making myself "scarce). I noticed her body language were more toned down, probably because she still doesn't want to rush. But I'm glad to say I'm not in the friendzone because no complains about her ex and I'm not being used as a shoulder to cry on. I'm of the opinion that I'm being prevented from being the rebound guy. Not that I'm complaining of course. But I just want to ask if this is something that women do?
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