lar Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 A guy and I have been seeing each other for 6 months now and he hasnt said "I love you" yet. We still only see each other maybe twice a week... I don't know whether I'm being unreasonable expecting more or if maybe he's just not that interested... help?
TaraMaiden Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Are you in love with him? By that, I mean, are you so in love with him that you'd have his children, walk to the ends of the earth for him, and take a bullet for him? If not - don't say it. Maybe he doesn't want to say it until he feels this way about you. I think we casually flip the 'love' term around, far too liberally. And when other people are concerned, it gets more superficial by the day.
Author lar Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 I agree it's said too much without enough thought... but shouldn't you feel that way about someone after 6 months? and if you don't, should you just leave it?
TaraMaiden Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Refer to my question to you. If you can answer yes, then say it. If you can't - then don't. It's not about shoulds or shouldn'ts. it's about how you actually feel.
Author lar Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 I said it a while ago, while drunk, and he said it scared him a bit, and fair enough, it was a bit early but I wasn't really thinking straight. Anyway, I don't want to be the first to say it this time.. but i feel like I'll be waiting forever for him to say it...
TaraMaiden Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Ok. The love word scares him. you think you'll be waiting for ever.... What's your answer?
Author lar Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 well I thought at the time it was fair enough to scare him, it was fairly early on in the relationship... but now I feel like I'm just waiting for him to say it and he isn't.... but then I'm not sure if its still too early... agggh!
TaraMaiden Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Well, there's no point sidestepping the issue. You have two choices, don't you? You either keep hopping from one leg to the other, and wondering, or you bring it up and ask him whether he thinks he loves you. But if you are going to ask him the question (as I have done, above) then, not only must you accept his answer, but you must be prepared to consider it yourself. And I notice you still haven't answered it.... are you so in love with him that you'd have his children, walk to the ends of the earth for him, and take a bullet for him? No relationship is perfect. Not a single one. Even the best and most ideal relationship you ever have, will not be perfect. My partner and I have our ups and downs. By his own admission, he's a difficult man to live with. I have teetered on the edge of stay or go, sometimes. But my answer to the above questions is yes, absolutely. And I know that he feels the same. Pinpointing the reasons is futile. You love them, because the bottom line is that you love them. That's all the reason you need. But you must at least be sure you love them, before you say so.
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