teeny Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 I have been with my boyfriend now for almost two years. In that period we have been through alot (I had Cancer, just after that he lost his job and struggled with panic attacks), we have been there for each other through thick and thin. When we first met I was somewhat "chubby," due to a cancer related problem. Since then I have gained about 60 pounds, and have tried everything to lose it. I finally found out I have hypothyroidism, and am working with the doctor to try and get back on track. The problem is sometimes my boyfriend doesn't find me attractive, and will give me a hard time about my weight. He has stuck by me for over a year when the doctors were trying to figure out what was wrong, and i know he'll always be here for me. I just feel bad when I know he isn't physically attracted to me. On the other hand I am very outgoing and get asked out by guys pretty often, esp. at work. I am sure I could easily find another guy, but after everything we've been through I don't want another guy. Has anyone been in a similar cirumstance?
mixwell Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 I am sorry to hear about your symptons but the only question I pose is this .. Have you every gone to the gym to try and lose the weight or have you don't nothing about it ??? Okay I can understand my girlfriend gaining weight due to a medical condition which you cannot control and if she made the effort to lose the weight I can tell it is an important commitment to "fix" the problem so to speak but if you have had the medical condition and basically gave a "awww f it" response then I can see why he would be discouraged.. Not to sound mean but I'm sure if you tried to exercise or do so something about it I am sure he would see it but if you have just given up and let yourself go then sure I can understand why he would be hesitant romantically.. I don't think it is mean but by a lack of self interest to be healthy it would be a turn off (to me at least)... Be warned I am being biased on my opinion because my sister was about 155 before she got preggo by my bro in law who, by the way is in the Marines and has an active lifestyle but she literally gained about 100+ pounds from her 2 kids and i call bullcrap because she is a hog.. its not because of being preggo because once she was preggo she stop doing EVERYTHING... she eats like a pig and eats a lot of sweets and is lazy is the REAL reason she is fat.. My bro in law gets up at 4:30am and goes to the gym to work out before work.. After the first kid was born my sis wasn't that bad if she stuck to and went to the gym but it was like since she was preggo it was an excuse to eat a bunch of crap and not do anything about it. She didn't bother to exercise even after the birth and worst of all when they had my neice it was the same thing..... Eat a bunch of crap and gained a crap ton of weight and do nothing to fix it...Well now my neice is 4 yrs old (and i love those kids) but seriously (and i hate to say it) my sister is a fat lazy slob.. So to sum this up Ya I do feel for you if you have put in effort to try and correct your symptom but if you haven't done crap and eat crap sweets all day and whine about why you're fat then I have no sympathy for you.. Only YOU really know the reasons behind your weight gan and (again not to be mean) I doubt you gained 60lbs straight off of a sympton if you actually got up and went to the gym or tried to legit lose weight..
mixwell Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Just to add.. If you have worked your arse off and tried to correct the prob with no avail and your bf is still turned off then I would say F him and move on because that is something genetical you can't help but I do feel that you didn't ONLY gain the weight by your problem and again if I am wrong then I am wrong and I apologize up front about it..
Rorschach Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Above poster, while having an extreme lack of tact. Makes a good point, effort goes a long way and I've heard 'I've done everything to lose weight' so often that I can't take it seriously. If you are really really committed to keeping your guy and making him attracted to you, then you have to be really really committed to losing the weight. I'd be surprised if YOU didn't feel better after losing the weight as well, talk to a doctor, see if there is anything you can do to lose the weight (I'm almost positive the answer is yes, but I'm no MD) and throw all the effort into it that you need to. If you HONESTLY HONESTLY try with all your might and for whatever reason you can't lose weight (a very rare situation) then just putting in the effort should be enough for your BF if he feels strongly about you. I know that would be enough for me if I was dating somebody with weight issues.
Mutant Debutante Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Um, did you guys miss the part where she said she not only had cancer, but also hypothyroidism? One of the most obvious symptoms of hypothyroidism is gaining weight and extreme difficulty with losing it, because your body does not secrete the hormones that work the metabolism.
Rorschach Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Um, did you guys miss the part where she said she not only had cancer, but also hypothyroidism? One of the most obvious symptoms of hypothyroidism is gaining weight and extreme difficulty with losing it, because your body does not secrete the hormones that work the metabolism. I don't question the problems she faced, and my condolences go out to her. But I will forever question when somebody says that they've tried to lose weight, because it's one of the easiest things to say but hardest to do. And I would like to think that the point I got across with my post is that if she is really really trying and the guy isn't satisfied, than thats his problem and she is too good for him.
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