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Waking up feeling like sh*t, anybody else experiencing this?

This Hurts

By This Hurts
in Coping

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This Hurts Established Member

This Hurts

Posted
Posted (edited)

You know that agonizing pain you feel the first few days, maybe week (for some, weeks) of the breakup? After that whole shock and horrendous few days, you tend to calm down (though you may still be depressed and lonely, etc.), right?

 

Well, I still experience it. Almost every morning when I wake up. It doesn't last long at all, not even half an hour. But the time it DOES last is absolutely unbearable and it makes me want to contact her SO bad. And I mean it when I say SO bad. I'm in so much pain I just want to call her and cry and then curl up in a corner and disintegrate. I haven't contacted her, but I'm afraid sometime soon I will, because the pain is seriously intolerable. I was about to this morning but gladly, I didn't.

 

Usually what makes me feel like that is my dreams. I dream about her almost every night. Even if it's not a nightmare (her with someone else, etc.); it can be a "good" dream (us being lovey like we used to, etc.), I'll wake up with the same feeling. Either because I'm hurting (if I have a nightmare), or I'm hurting because I miss her so bad (if I have a "good" dream). Sometimes I just wake up feeling that way, even if I don't dream (or don't remember the dream).

 

I REALLY want this to stop. For the most part, my days are at least OKAY, and this is seriously the worst part of my whole entire day.

 

Is anybody else going through this or has experienced it before? Does anybody know how to make it better or make it go away?

 

Thank you.

Edited by This Hurts
romer Member

romer

Posted
Posted

Yes. Go see your doctor and get him to prescribe anti-depressants. Don't even bother with 20mg - go for 40. It's made a difference for me today.

Toki Established Member

Toki

Posted
Posted

Anti Depressants aren't always the answer. Seeking council or therapy might help you, it will get better, trust me.

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This Hurts Established Member

This Hurts

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Yes. Go see your doctor and get him to prescribe anti-depressants. Don't even bother with 20mg - go for 40. It's made a difference for me today.

 

I'll look into that, thank you.

Let me know if you sleep better tonight (no nightmares or less intense dreams).

 

Anti Depressants aren't always the answer. Seeking council or therapy might help you, it will get better, trust me.

 

Anti-depressants aren't something I'm planning on taking for the rest of my life, but a little help in lightening the mood would be nice temporarily.

 

Have you gotten therapy or counseling for a breakup? If so, how did that go and how did it help?

 

I'm planning on getting a therapist soon, so I'm curious.

Toki Established Member

Toki

Posted
Posted
Anti-depressants aren't something I'm planning on taking for the rest of my life, but a little help in lightening the mood would be nice temporarily.

 

Have you gotten therapy or counseling for a breakup? If so, how did that go and how did it help?

 

I'm planning on getting a therapist soon, so I'm curious.

 

Anti Depressants can actually have the reverse affect of what their designed to do. Not withstanding a list of physical side effects including weight gain, fatigue, dry mouth... the list goes on and on, you should only take them if you're clinically depressed, and you're at high risk for suicide.

 

I took therapy after my break up, and it helped me understand the causes of, and motives for the inevitable. In the long term, the therapy helped me more than any drug ever did.

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This Hurts Established Member

This Hurts

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Anti Depressants can actually have the reverse affect of what their designed to do. Not withstanding a list of physical side effects including weight gain, fatigue, dry mouth... the list goes on and on, you should only take them if you're clinically depressed, and you're at high risk for suicide.

 

I took therapy after my break up, and it helped me understand the causes of, and motives for the inevitable. In the long term, the therapy helped me more than any drug ever did.

 

I know the side effects :p Thanks, though. I guess being with someone with Bipolar disorder for over 3.5 years does come in handy afterwards.

 

And yeah, I was planning on just talking it out and getting meds if the psych found it necessary. Depression and anxiety runs in my family and I've been depressed seasonally (always a couple or few months before summer and most of the summer itself) for the past 3 years, with some anxiety. Now, I always thought it was because my ex psychologically messed with me frequently to the point where it got the best of me, but part of me wonders if it's because of my family's medical history.

 

I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Toki Established Member

Toki

Posted
Posted
I know the side effects :p Thanks, though. I guess being with someone with Bipolar disorder for over 3.5 years does come in handy afterwards.

 

And yeah, I was planning on just talking it out and getting meds if the psych found it necessary. Depression and anxiety runs in my family and I've been depressed seasonally (always a couple or few months before summer and most of the summer itself) for the past 3 years, with some anxiety. Now, I always thought it was because my ex psychologically messed with me frequently to the point where it got the best of me, but part of me wonders if it's because of my family's medical history.

 

I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

 

I am bipolar, with ASPD (Anti Social Personality Disorder). So I know, I get it. And I take meds to treat it. But, I warn caution on meds because I've taken a ton, and some made me far worse than when I was off medication. Sometimes just working through your problems with a trusted friend/psychiatrist/psychologist can grant you an epiphany and give you peace with your situation. If your doctor prescribes meds, take them... but be weary and forthright on side effects. Anywho, doesn't really make your situation any better.

 

I just dislike when someone has a problem, and the answer is to instantly turn to medication. Life is gonna be tough for awhile, but just make sure you work through it, the very best you can, and remember when you're going through hell, keep going. Doesn't make any sense to stop and ponder what could have been.

skydiveaddict Established Member

skydiveaddict

Posted
Posted
You know that agonizing pain you feel the first few days, maybe week (for some, weeks) of the breakup? After that whole shock and horrendous few days, you tend to calm down (though you may still be depressed and lonely, etc.), right?

 

Well, I still experience it. Almost every morning when I wake up. It doesn't last long at all, not even half an hour. But the time it DOES last is absolutely unbearable and it makes me want to contact her SO bad. And I mean it when I say SO bad. I'm in so much pain I just want to call her and cry and then curl up in a corner and disintegrate. I haven't contacted her, but I'm afraid sometime soon I will, because the pain is seriously intolerable. I was about to this morning but gladly, I didn't.

 

Usually what makes me feel like that is my dreams. I dream about her almost every night. Even if it's not a nightmare (her with someone else, etc.); it can be a "good" dream (us being lovey like we used to, etc.), I'll wake up with the same feeling. Either because I'm hurting (if I have a nightmare), or I'm hurting because I miss her so bad (if I have a "good" dream). Sometimes I just wake up feeling that way, even if I don't dream (or don't remember the dream).

 

I REALLY want this to stop. For the most part, my days are at least OKAY, and this is seriously the worst part of my whole entire day.

 

Is anybody else going through this or has experienced it before? Does anybody know how to make it better or make it go away?

 

Thank you.

 

 

Yes I have experienced that. You need to get yourself out of bed at once, go for a run, hit the weights do anything but lay there thinking about her. As for anti-depressants, I can say they worked miracles for me when I got back from Afghanistan

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

Posted
Posted

Yep...I definitely went through a phase of exactly what you're describing for a while...it was probably about a month when it was really bad, and then gradually subsided as time went on...sometimes it still hits me now almost nine months later...

 

I never tried any medications...didn't feel that I needed them...but for me, the best medicine was time...

EyeAlone Established Member

EyeAlone

Posted
Posted

Yep, I know the feeling. I'm going through the same thing now. For me the hardest times of the day are the evening and morning. It's really difficult for me to get out of bed and head to school/work. I've found it to be helpful for me to take a shower in the morning and allow myself that time to cry and/or reflect on the dreams I had the previous night. Then after the shower, it's time to turn my attention elsewhere.

 

Hang in there; you're not alone. :(

just1guy Established Member

just1guy

Posted
Posted

I've been there before also. Mine were pretty rough in that the minute I dreamt of her, I'd wake up from sleep, no matter what the dream entailed or how long I've been asleep. That was last month and I've finally gotten back to a sem-normal sleep schedule, but I still dream of her.

 

I've recently started going to therapy to see why I'm struggling to move past a breakup that happened four months ago, and I will say that it has started to help. I'm starting to accept and identify some of the reasons why I'm still carrying the burden of the breakup, eventhough it was she that left.

 

 

I recommend that you try talking to a therapist if it continues to bother you.

sadheart2010 Member

sadheart2010

Posted
Posted

hey,

 

iam going through something similar,but i dont want to contact Ex anymore even if i wished i could.Actually i didnt get closure and its over since almost 3 months.

I do the NO Contact since a few weeks now and it is getting better.

 

If you dont have any disorder do not take any pills,it will lead you nowhere.

 

Its a Phase and you have to change your way of thinking about it all.Tell yourself "This is a big challenge for me and i know it will hurt ,but soon ill feel better"!!!

 

I still think of my EX everyday and miss him even if he broke my heart.

 

However stay strong

romer Member

romer

Posted
Posted

(This Hurts) - it's day 2 of the increased dosage, and the pain is still just a dull throb. I slept better last night. I still think about him but I don't feel the ice shooting through my veins anymore or feel like I want to kill myself to escape the pain.

 

(Toki) - the reason I had to have my meds increased is because not only am I dealing with the loss of my relationship, but my mother passed away in January. She was my closest friend and biggest supporter. I appreciate that you do not believe medication is always the answer, but for me, experiencing intense grief and pain, its the answer for me right now. Maybe eventually I will get some counseling. Right now, I just need something to help me get out of bed in the morning so I don't lose my job or my daughter who needs me. But I agree with you, that counseling does help. I respect your opinion.

worlybear Established Member

worlybear

Posted
Posted

Read your post and the responses and thought hey that's me ! I absolutely get how you feel, friends and your self preservation keep telling you it's getting better but it still feels as if you are wrapped in fog and grief.

Took the advice you were given on here and got myself to the docs this morning.

He was great, not dismissive at all and I'm pleased I went.

He has prescribed short term meds and I'll let you know how I'm getting on.

Take care :bunny:

romer Member

romer

Posted
Posted

Good for you Worlybear...I didn't mention that mine is also short term and I go back to see my doctor in six weeks to see how I am doing. So far, it is helping me alot. I am not breaking out into tears at the drop of a hat anymore.

MorningCoffee Established Member

MorningCoffee

Posted
Posted (edited)

I know the feelings you describe very well. Too well. After I did all the stuff the advice always says (exercise, journal, socialize, clear away reminders, etc.), I STILL felt like hell. I found a sort of meditation practice that has helped me enormously in this last (5th) week of NC. For what it's worth, here it is.

 

When I feel that incredible pain, that longing, I imagine

 

"I envision a white dove emanate from my heart. I hold it in my hands. It is warm and I feel its rapid heart beat. Then I lift my arms, and I gently release it to the sky, and it flies off and disappears, into the past.

 

"And each of the white doves carries a strand of something in its bill. Those strands are strands drawn from the love, the sexual connection, and the bond that we had.

 

"They are taking only the good parts, the best parts, and each strand represents a really good part of that bond. And they're taking it off into the past, where they’ll build a nest with all those little bits and strands. And when I have released all the doves who have borne away all that love, the bits of the sexual connection and the bond, then that nest is where my heart can rest whenever it needs to, enjoying its warm memories of my having loved her."

 

Each time I have done this exercise, tears have flowed, and yet I feel lighter and less depressed. I do believe that in time I will be able to recall the good parts without the pain, but this seems to be speeding it up. May it help you.

 

Also, the book The Wisdom of a Broken Heart, has a great mantra:

 

"May I be happy.

May I be healthy.

May I be at peace.

May I live with ease."

 

I repeat this to myself from time to time, and I also think of her and offer it for her ... "May she be happy, . . ." etc.

Edited by MorningCoffee
bluz73 Established Member

bluz73

Posted
Posted
You know that agonizing pain you feel the first few days, maybe week (for some, weeks) of the breakup? After that whole shock and horrendous few days, you tend to calm down (though you may still be depressed and lonely, etc.), right?

 

Well, I still experience it. Almost every morning when I wake up. It doesn't last long at all, not even half an hour. But the time it DOES last is absolutely unbearable and it makes me want to contact her SO bad. And I mean it when I say SO bad. I'm in so much pain I just want to call her and cry and then curl up in a corner and disintegrate. I haven't contacted her, but I'm afraid sometime soon I will, because the pain is seriously intolerable. I was about to this morning but gladly, I didn't.

 

Usually what makes me feel like that is my dreams. I dream about her almost every night. Even if it's not a nightmare (her with someone else, etc.); it can be a "good" dream (us being lovey like we used to, etc.), I'll wake up with the same feeling. Either because I'm hurting (if I have a nightmare), or I'm hurting because I miss her so bad (if I have a "good" dream). Sometimes I just wake up feeling that way, even if I don't dream (or don't remember the dream).

 

I REALLY want this to stop. For the most part, my days are at least OKAY, and this is seriously the worst part of my whole entire day.

 

Is anybody else going through this or has experienced it before? Does anybody know how to make it better or make it go away?

 

Thank you.

 

I know what you are feeling. I feel like crap everyday especially mornings, by the time afternoon hits I am okay. As soon as I fall asleep which is pretty hard battling insomia, I forget, then when I wake up he is the first thing that pops in my head.

Mine I know is due to the fact, I didnt get the closure I needed. The way he handled the break up was Not even the man I remember. The fact the relationship he is in with a teen girl most likely wont last and knowing if he would have just gave us the chance we would have worked, but ya know I am better off, I deserve better.

HUGS to you and remember when you wake up there are many people that feel just like you and we are all here on LS for you :)

I love LS, it helps me get thru the day :)

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