Agent Thomas Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 You aren't on a break. You broke up. Period. A "break" is what someone says who lacks enough gull to just call it a break up. And once a couple breaks up, they're basically broken up forever, no matter how many times they may get back together. A break up causes a rift that is never filled. It should piss you off that you've been tossed aside like trash, yes. Use the anger to separate yourself too. Right now you're falling down the divide that she has initiated. She is standing safely outside the divide, and you're stuck in the middle. You need to use the anger to propel you to the other side of the divide. That's all you can do. Then turn your back on her and don't look back.
Author kinglebron23 Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 You aren't on a break. You broke up. Period. A "break" is what someone says who lacks enough gull to just call it a break up. And once a couple breaks up, they're basically broken up forever, no matter how many times they may get back together. A break up causes a rift that is never filled. It should piss you off that you've been tossed aside like trash, yes. Use the anger to separate yourself too. Right now you're falling down the divide that she has initiated. She is standing safely outside the divide, and you're stuck in the middle. You need to use the anger to propel you to the other side of the divide. That's all you can do. Then turn your back on her and don't look back. AMEN to that...
CaliGuy Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 When she asks for a break it's always a lul time of period before she pulls away for good. It's best to say "I don't want a break, I want to break up..." At least that way you are the dumper and not the dumpee. I mean, I'm just saying...
Author kinglebron23 Posted April 15, 2010 Author Posted April 15, 2010 Is it almost impossible to stay friends after a 5 year relationship? I have no contact my any of my previous Ex's but none have been close to 5 years... It just seems close to impossible to see her in that light since we shared such amazing times together... Thoughts?
FryFish Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 Dude... She wanted a "break" because she is actively interested in another person. She gave you "permission" because she is actively seeing this other person. Put yourself in her shoes for a minute. How would you go about breaking up with a person that you have genuinely loved for half a decade that you dont want to hurt. You would lie. The relationship is done, time for you to move on. If you really want her back the 180 is your ONLY hope... but why would you want her back?
sally4sara Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 Is it almost impossible to stay friends after a 5 year relationship? I have no contact my any of my previous Ex's but none have been close to 5 years... It just seems close to impossible to see her in that light since we shared such amazing times together... Thoughts? Can't really be friends while one of you (you) wants to continue the romantic part of the relationship. It isn't fair to you or anyone you'd try to date while still having those kind of feelings for your ex. But if you're looking to kill off all those fond memories of the relationship you currently have, trying to be her friend right now is the quickest way to go about it.
vivrantflo Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 Dude... She wanted a "break" because she is actively interested in another person. She gave you "permission" because she is actively seeing this other person. Put yourself in her shoes for a minute. How would you go about breaking up with a person that you have genuinely loved for half a decade that you dont want to hurt. You would lie. Couldn't have said it better myself. You need to read this, over and over again.
Author kinglebron23 Posted April 16, 2010 Author Posted April 16, 2010 While i have taken in and appreciate the replies, i would like to play devils advocate for one sec. Once again, i did hear all your thoughts and have taken them in... So in that respects, What happens if it truly is what it is? As in, she just needed time for herself since I have personally smoothered her mentally in the past. She knows that I am working on my flaws, and shes just taking the time to untangle her thoughts. And lets just say from the bottom of her heart, she does believe we will back back together in a relationship after this break. Yes, i have been in previous relationships where ive been cheated on, but most of the time it was me that ended the relationship so ive been in these situations in the past. If it is what it is, and exactly how she says is, i just gotta hang in there too. And give her space. I do understand that this is the Breaks and Breaking Up Threads, and its normal for people to protect yourselves from the "cheaters" or the "liars" but occasionally once in a blue moon, we do run into a situation where its just a person that needs time for themselves.
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