soleharmony1123 Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 (edited) My ex called me this morning to share his news that he found a job. I didn't answer the phone - it went into voicemail: “Hey – you’re still not talking to me but I just wanted to call u to give u an update. I got a job now aaannd…I just wanted to let you know. I’m getting ready to get off the train now. Well..sooo, I’m going to work…Anyway! give me a call sometime…I wanna talk to you. Love you.” That was around 8:30am. I sent him a text around noon which said "Congratulations - You did it Man!" He responded with a text that said "thank you for all your help; without it, I would have never found a job." I am happy for him and very proud of him at this point. It hasn't been an easy road for him after having been confined for over 15 years, but he has remained positive overall and now his determination not to repeat mistakes has begun to pay off for him. I want nothing but the best for him although it seems we're moving along on our separate paths. His acknowledgment of the fact that I've been in his corner was an important step for me. It may even help further the healing process. -Sole Edited April 13, 2010 by soleharmony1123
Ilovecake Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 "confined for over 15 years" Was he in prison???
Author soleharmony1123 Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 Why did y'all break up??? I'm afraid that now, in retrospect, I realize that when the Man (my ex) was released from confinement, I turned into the warden. It wasn't intentional - I just wanted to make sure he stuck with his goals and our plans for the future. He couldn't pick up a beer without me flipping a wig, I was disappointed that he resumed smoking. None of these things violated his parole and he has a good rapport with his parole officer. He only drank a beer when he was at home or my house - never while out. Let's say I had a hard time transitioning from the role I'd always played as his overprotective big "sister." He's 42 and I'm 44. I was his babysitter when he was 10 and I was 12 because his parents felt that he respected me and listened to me. He still has that same love and respect for me, as I do for him. I ran him away. They don't teach you to multi-task in prison. Juggling a relationship with someone who can be worse than your worst drill seargeant (although you're well aware she means well) was too much for him. I understand that now. But that Man knows I love him with all my heart and soul and I know he loves me. I'm afraid neither of us knows how to move past this breakup. I believe he wants to try to work things out but doesn't know what to say at this point or how to undo the damage. I was really hurt and felt betrayed by him because the reason for the breakup was he needed space...that he was confused and needed to find work because he couldn't be a husband to me without a job...couldn't take care of me...said I wouldn't be able to respect him...but I would have his back no matter what. The key is knowing that he is a man who tries and doesn't make excuses. -Sole
Author soleharmony1123 Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 So Sole, he was in the joint? Yes, JustJoe, he was in prison...15 solitary years...being productive...working and in his spare time writing me and calling me and keeping me grounded.
Author soleharmony1123 Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 So Sole, he was in the joint? Yes, he was "confined" for about 15 years.
mickleb Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Sole - You said in your first post on here that you had no intentions of becoming his best friend. Guess what? Let him get on with the life he has chosen - without you - to face his problems by himself and enjoy his sucesses by himself. What do you get out of letting him have his cake and eat it, too, except heartache? Delete/block his numbers. You're not his mother and don't have to take this crap. Be strong. You know you can be. x
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