dietpepsi Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 To try and break my normal routines and change my habits in order to try and move on. Which did help, not reading everyones stories and such helped me not to think about it so much. However, my ex (we work together) started talking to me a bit here and there at work through email, not much in person. I responded friendly and cordial. I told her she had crossed my mind on Valentine's Day, and on her birthday offered to buy her a cup of coffee. Oops, i know, to both she responded with long winded emails about how she couldnt handle that. However she would still talk to me, then ignore me, then talk to me, then ignore me. I do in my heart, but logically I don't want her back, this kept me in a weird limbo combined with the weekly contact, and seeing each other at work. I called her twice for legit matters (within 4 months or so) to which she would not call back. Everytime we would not talk for 4-5 days she would just have to say something despite acting like she wanted to be left alone. I had finally had enough and called her out on it. I told her if she was going to act that way sometimes, then the other times she just shouldn't talk to me. At this point she knows I miss her, and is using me for attention when she wants it, and that's what i told her. She exploded saying she was done with this drama, and that she doesn't miss me, and she doesn't know what I'm talking about. That she was just being nice, and I was taking it all wrong. (Which isn't the case, I would leave her alone on purpose, and every-time like clockwork she would start talking to me. I could even tell the days when she would do it, because she would steal glances at me hardcore on those days) I responded saying she knew exactly what she was doing, and that i wasn't going to stand for it anymore, that i have more respect for myself that, and I'm an amazing person that doesn't need this kind of treatment, and that she is the one losing something. I ended it by saying let's keep out of each other's lives, To which received no response. I'm 10 days into NC, I'm sad, I love her. But I'm proud of sticking up for myself. Just needed to share.
cdt76 Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 I know it's tough. Be strong. You did the right thing.
jlr Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 My ex did that to me for months after we broke up. She'd be hot and cold. One minute it was ok to talk to me, the next it wasn't. When she wanted to talk, it was fine. But when I did, or needed something, she was no where to be found. And she would never admit to her involvement. It was always me who was trying to "get back with her." Even though she was usually the person initiating it, as I would leave her be when she didn't seem to want to talk or hang out. But it always laid on me. In the end, I saw she just kept me on a string for when she needed me. She was using me. While she was trying to move in another direction, if she got scared, or lost confidence, she'd come to me, get built back up, and then drop me. It was just a sick pattern. You did the right thing. I let it happen for a really long time. Get away from it. It will break your heart over and over.
ussy Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 Exactly how my ex treated me, but ive realized that the worst thing you can do as a dumpee is raise your hope when your ex comes in to contact. Ive been the victim of that plenty of times and that crap hasn't got me nowhere!
Author dietpepsi Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 My ex did that to me for months after we broke up. She'd be hot and cold. One minute it was ok to talk to me, the next it wasn't. When she wanted to talk, it was fine. But when I did, or needed something, she was no where to be found. And she would never admit to her involvement. It was always me who was trying to "get back with her." Even though she was usually the person initiating it, as I would leave her be when she didn't seem to want to talk or hang out. But it always laid on me. In the end, I saw she just kept me on a string for when she needed me. She was using me. While she was trying to move in another direction, if she got scared, or lost confidence, she'd come to me, get built back up, and then drop me. It was just a sick pattern. You did the right thing. I let it happen for a really long time. Get away from it. It will break your heart over and over. Wow, this sounds so similar. Did you eventually say enough is enough? How did you feel about it?
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