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Is it normal to be afraid of a relationship?


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Posted

Here is the story, I have been seeing someone for about a month now. We are in an exclusive relationship and so far everything has started off smoothly. We live about 30 minutes from each other and we usually see each other about 2-3 times a week. He is a great man, has a career in law enforcement, lives on his own, wants to get married, have children, etc.

 

My problem is that I am 27, I have had 3 serious relationships and a bunch of miscellaneous/casual relationships in which I felt I have been betrayed, lied to, used, and disrespected. When I met my current boyfriend, I really was not looking for a relationship, everything just kind of happened. He is a great guy and I thought I would be stupid to let him pass me by. He loves that I don't demand to see him all the time, or call him 50 times a day, we pretty much just take everything one day at a time. I don't know if I know how to be in a mature/adult relationship. I don't know at what point you are supposed to "emotionally bond". I guess my question is, will I be able to hold his interest by taking things slow and just going with the flow? I really don't want to get hurt which is why I feel I hold back and have a wall up. Any help would be appreciated.

Posted

Tell him about your concerns/reservations. If he really feels something for you, he will work on building trust with you. If you don't tell him about your concerns, you will run the risk of him interpreting your reservation as coldness or indifference and it's then that he might lose interest.

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Posted

This is good advice. Thank you.

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