keith_m Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 My girlfriend basically told me that she wanted to break up some two months ago. Things had been sliding that way- even though I was just about to ask her to marry me. She has said that she wished I'd done that about 6 months previous. She is nearly turning forty and wants/wanted kids- being responsible, I wanted to be damned certain as I have a teenager from a previous marriage. I finally got round to the idea- but she was not to happy by then. I would like to point out that I have never been unfaithful to this woman and neither her unfaithful to me. We have travelled to many places in our three years together- and we have lived together for almost three years. Now that is over and I have been living on my own for just over two months. We have met up at least 4 times and she has told me that she thinks about me everyday. She has also said that she has been on the verge of asking me back- but needs to be 100% sure of me before she comes back. I have not done the drunk texts/calls or other things that I have read about. I have tried to be as much a gentleman throughout our break. Our second last meeting was very positive- and we walked back hand in hand to our cars. On both the last meeting and the previous- I have gently implied that we can't be 'frirnds' as our friendship and love are far deeper. Our last meeting was a film and a meal. It did not go so well and I was left with great feelings of doubt. I texted her to ask if she wanted the space that she had mentioned at the start of the break up- I asked if it would help her make a positive decision. She said the it 'would help me' (meaning her). I am now a mere 4 days into NC and it is already wearing on me...I am keeping it up. But my main fear is that I am finaly losing her. I keep faith in what she has told me.....but maybe it is helping her let go. I am trying to do everything right- I am working out and swimming each evening, I am not touching a drop of alcohol and I have even started to pack in the smoking. (she never really had a problem with me smoking.) Sadly- she only sees me occassionally, but always points out how well/good looking I am. Frankly, I am in the pit of despair. And it is affecting my work etc... So- any words of advice for me? Any reply welcome.....Thank You- Keith
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