Rorschach Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 This just popped into my head, I had forgotten about it but it really bothered me at the time. My GF would constantly demand footrubs, and I hated giving them, I don't have a foot fetish, I think feet are kinda gross and I didn't really want to do it. HOWEVER, I would do it every now and then because I knew she liked it and as the guy it's my job to do things she likes even though I don't particularly want to, in the same way I expect her to do certain things she doesn't neccasarily want to. So fair is fair I'd give footrubs. After maybe a couple months of sporadic footrubs she came to expect them, more than expect even, she'd demand one, every day, and to ask all she would do is lie down and stick her feet in my hands. I HATE FEET, hers (not sure about all womens) were sweaty and gross to touch all the time, and to have her, without any ceremony, stick them in my lap no matter what I happened to be doing, and then get mad if I didn't rub them drove me up the fricken wall. Like I said I had no problem giving them, from time to time, on my terms, as I considered it a nice favor to show that I cared. How would you react if your bf/gf demanded crap like this all the time? (yes this is sorta like the BJ thread except now we can all relate...)
Bejita463 Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 I'm not a servant, and being treated as one would anger me. If that is the attitude she was displaying, I'd have pushed her feet right out of my lap. If however, there was some sort of banter, playful attitude, or simple acknowledgment that this is a favor and not a duty, I'd be fine with it. I don't mind feet though. I offer foot rubs on my own. It doesn't take a fetish to be okay with that.
Author Rorschach Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 I'm not a servant, and being treated as one would anger me. If that is the attitude she was displaying, I'd have pushed her feet right out of my lap. If however, there was some sort of banter, playful attitude, or simple acknowledgment that this is a favor and not a duty, I'd be fine with it. I don't mind feet though. I offer foot rubs on my own. It doesn't take a fetish to be okay with that. Can't say I'm intimately familiar with feet, but hers bothered me, both her feet and her hands were constantly sweaty and sticky and felt gross to the touch. She couldn't give handjobs because her hands were too sticky... It's not like she was mean about it, she didn't really demand feet rubs in a sadistic way, but while she may laugh and joke at my discomfort there was no way I could NOT rub her feet without her being mad at me for a good long while, which I thought was unfair.
make me believe Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 Ugh I would hate that. I wouldn't expect my boyfriend to do something he didn't enjoy on a regular basis, and I would be annoyed if he expected something like that from me. It was nice of you to offer to do it occasionally because she liked it, but it was wrong for her to get mad if you tried to say no.
123BeachFan Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 Well, I'd back up and say if touching your SO's hands or feet give you the willies, that in itself is problematic. I don't mind my partner's feet, so long as they aren't sweaty dirty (as in, encased in socks and gym shoes all day long). But fresh out of the shower, or bare footed and bed are fair game. Your ex's hands were icky to the touch? I would imagine that you guys didn't hold hands for extended periods of affection, then. But if my bf wanted some act of service from me more frequently that I took as more a drudgery, I'd playfully say something like, "no not today, you got that yesterday." Or, "nope, you're still in debt from the last foot massage I gave you." Just so I don't feel like I am giving all the time without it being on equal footing (pun intended).
Author Rorschach Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 I don't mind my partner's feet, so long as they aren't sweaty dirty (as in, encased in socks and gym shoes all day long). But fresh out of the shower, or bare footed and bed are fair game. Your ex's hands were icky to the touch? I would imagine that you guys didn't hold hands for extended periods of affection, then. We very rarely held hands, although when I still loved her personality I wanted to, but the sweaty palms thing really bothered me, honestly there was very little physical chemistry between me and my ex, which while not the ultimate cause of the break up didn't help. But still, sweaty hands were gross, I swear she could pick tissues without actually closing her hand...
marsle85 Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 Now imagine if she asked you to deepthroat those piggies... She may look at it differently. She may view it as an affectionate exchange. She can rely on you, you take care of her, you want to make her feel good. She could just be bossy and demanding... but make sure you find what her true intentions are. Does she talk about her day while you massage her feet? Does she close her eyes and look relaxed? Does she stare unhappily and say "harder"... haha? Little experiment: Offer to massage her feet, and see what response you get. Is it a romantic smile? Does she warm up to you? Or does it look like she truly expects it. Remember that it's not the only things you're lovin', when you love her feet. As for the sweaty feet issue. As long as it's not excessive, really...who cares. We put eachother's genitals in our mouths for goodness sake. Give her a great massage and wash your hands, big deal. She may have her priorities out of wack, but I think you do too. She MAY just expect it, but may it's time to do a trade: "i'll rub your feet if you make dessert" or something. So what. She likes her feet rubbed. Do it for her, but make sure it's a 2 way street. Make it fun. The only thing that needs revising here is your outlook!
Author Rorschach Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 Now imagine if she asked you to deepthroat those piggies... She may look at it differently. She may view it as an affectionate exchange. She can rely on you, you take care of her, you want to make her feel good. She could just be bossy and demanding... but make sure you find what her true intentions are. Does she talk about her day while you massage her feet? Does she close her eyes and look relaxed? Does she stare unhappily and say "harder"... haha? Little experiment: Offer to massage her feet, and see what response you get. Is it a romantic smile? Does she warm up to you? Or does it look like she truly expects it. Remember that it's not the only things you're lovin', when you love her feet. As for the sweaty feet issue. As long as it's not excessive, really...who cares. We put eachother's genitals in our mouths for goodness sake. Give her a great massage and wash your hands, big deal. She may have her priorities out of wack, but I think you do too. She MAY just expect it, but may it's time to do a trade: "i'll rub your feet if you make dessert" or something. So what. She likes her feet rubbed. Do it for her, but make sure it's a 2 way street. Make it fun. The only thing that needs revising here is your outlook! Thanks for the input, I didn't really mind rubbing her feet, I just didn't like the way she thrust it upon me rather than even asking for a foot rub. It made me feel under appreciated, like I wasn't doing it out of love but doing it out of a requirement. Also this was an ex and we aren't together anymore so it's not something I can work on XD
Jambalaya Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 I would have offered her a soothing foot bath first!
Bejita463 Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 Eh. It may be an affectionate exchange, but common courtesy would have someone clean their feet if they want a foot rub. I bet he didn't go to the gym, come home sweaty and grimy and ask for a massage. Foot rubs work better when the feet are clean anyway. A piece of dirt rubbed the wrong way will tickle and/or hurt, and dirt or sweat would make getting proper grips and traction difficult. So clean feet would make a foot massage better anyway.
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