lonelyandfrustrated Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Man, I can't believe the people in this thread suggesting she kill off her individuality, stop exercising and basically become his shadow to appease his insecurities! 7 years together. Has he always been like this? hahaha...you're right. The way to have a happy marriage is to do your own thing and ignore your spouse's pleas to spend time with you. Good luck with that!
dazzle22 Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 That's why I think he has a deeper insecurity issue. It's not you--it would be anybody who was close to him. And definitely don't become the hermit he wants you to. Sheesh--! You don't have to join the living in the cave mentality. What I see is a growing paranoia and isolation on his part, with everyone in his life. This is not good. This could be the initial signs of a mental illness. How old is he? Schizophrenia develops by the age of 30. I agree. Something is going on here beyond just being too snoopy. Could be the above, or an anxiety disorder with some agorophobia and OCD thrown in. His behavior is way outside the "Bell Curve".
You Go Girl Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 hahaha...you're right. The way to have a happy marriage is to do your own thing and ignore your spouse's pleas to spend time with you. Good luck with that! I don't believe the OP isn't spending any time with her H--if that was the case then your argument would be correct. It looks as if he wants her to spend every available moment at home, like he does.
sally4sara Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 Anything you do to try to stop him from snooping is going to come off suspicious. If he is checking your calls and online activity, password locking with only make him wonder what you're hiding. Are you okay with the idea of him doing this forever? If not, before you go filing for divorce or separation, stress the need for some MC and/or IC for him. Ask him to go see a doctor to make sure this isn't the first sign of clinical paranoia. Ask him to go to the gym with you. Maybe he just has too much pent up energy and is burning it off by over thinking dumb stuff. An exhausted husband is a sleepy husband and sleeping husbands don't snoop.
Author Lindsey Posted April 15, 2010 Author Posted April 15, 2010 That's why I think he has a deeper insecurity issue. It's not you--it would be anybody who was close to him. And definitely don't become the hermit he wants you to. Sheesh--! You don't have to join the living in the cave mentality. What I see is a growing paranoia and isolation on his part, with everyone in his life. This is not good. This could be the initial signs of a mental illness. How old is he? Schizophrenia develops by the age of 30. He just turned 40. He used to get out more and do more things but not alot. In the last few years, he's become more of a hermit. I do agree with you on this. I do think he has some underlying issues he's never dealt with, I have always thought that about him. Man, I can't believe the people in this thread suggesting she kill off her individuality, stop exercising and basically become his shadow to appease his insecurities! 7 years together. Has he always been like this? Not as bad but he's been getting worse lately. hahaha...you're right. The way to have a happy marriage is to do your own thing and ignore your spouse's pleas to spend time with you. Good luck with that! I do spend time with my spouse but I also do things on my own. I cannot bear to sit at home and do nothing all night. I'm am working out to make myself a better person. I have asked him to join me before. I don't believe the OP isn't spending any time with her H--if that was the case then your argument would be correct. It looks as if he wants her to spend every available moment at home, like he does. Exactly Anything you do to try to stop him from snooping is going to come off suspicious. If he is checking your calls and online activity, password locking with only make him wonder what you're hiding. Are you okay with the idea of him doing this forever? If not, before you go filing for divorce or separation, stress the need for some MC and/or IC for him. Ask him to go see a doctor to make sure this isn't the first sign of clinical paranoia. Ask him to go to the gym with you. Maybe he just has too much pent up energy and is burning it off by over thinking dumb stuff. An exhausted husband is a sleepy husband and sleeping husbands don't snoop. There are more issues as of lately than just this so we are actually starting MC next week. I have asked him to join me working out before and will continue to do so when a new "season" comes up at my facility.
SarahRose Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 Just put a password on your phone and tell him you left it in the bathroom at work and someone was snooping through it so you are protecting your phone. Stop worrying about him snooping on the computer. If you write things you don't want him to see just delete the history and store journals, diaries, etc. on a thumb drive that you can keep in your purse.
Enema Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 Leave a message inside your phone: "I think my paranoid husband keeps snooping, if he keeps this childish shit up, I'm going to leave him"
2sunny Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 change passwords on everything and let him know that he won't be able to check up on you anymore.
Recommended Posts