smileylady Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 I've never posted on this type of forum before, but I don't know who else to open up to, because I don't want friends/family to know. I'm a 30 year old who had a great boyfriend NINE years ago, whom I would constitute as my "first love" -- we were together for a year and I broke it off because I felt like I was too young to be in such a serious relationship. At the time, I really didn't know if I was making the right decision, but I felt like he deserved to be with someone who was 100% sure that they wanted to be with him and I was kind of "not sure". Anywho, a few years after, I met another guy (these were my only 2 serious relationships) and we got married pretty quickly. We were married for 7 years, and it was really good. (no kids, by the way) But even though it was good, I kept finding myself thinking about this other guy...wondering what he was doing...how he was. So anyways, 2 years ago, my marriage fell apart (my husband cheated) and we tried to keep it together for a while (1.5yrs of therapy, vacations, etc) nevertheless, 6 months ago we finally separated. And I've been living on my own ever since. SOOOOOO, now that my marriage is officially over, I have been thinking INCESSANTLY about this ex-BF and I want to get in touch with him SOOOO badly. Not even to get back together necessarily, but just to know what he's doing. Is he single? Is he lonely? I feel like this isn't healthy and may be stupidly predictable, as I know I probably need some time to get over my marriage, but I can't help thinking that I made a HUGE mistake all those years ago and that WE should be together now. I want to get in touch, but I just don't have the courage. Am I just totally pathetic and should move on with my life? By the way, I have been dating other men, but this doesn't stop me from thinking about the ex-BF.
USMCHokie Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 This one isn't hard. Just give him a call. Agreed. Nine years is a long time...you never know...
Author smileylady Posted April 21, 2010 Author Posted April 21, 2010 I didn't mention though that like 8 months ago (while I was still married, albeit on the way out) I emailed him to say "hi" and he wrote back right away, which was a surprise. So then I wrote back a nice "I've been doing this, doing that" -- I didn't mention that I was breaking up with my husband, but I didn't mention anything about being married either. But then he never wrote me back after that, which makes me feel like he didn't want to be in touch. Or maybe he thought I was married and what's the point? I don't know! I'm really shy, I feel like I need some sort of sign or something in order to make that move... it's kind of embarassing, you know? I don't want to sound like I'm on the rebound or anything.
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