Rorschach Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 "is there anything wrong?" Now I'm not saying the nobody ever responds with the truth ever, that is of course ridiculous but are there any girls on this board who respond more often than not, with whats actually bothering you rather than responding with the typical 'nothing' when it's written all over your face that something is wrong.
Arasae Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 I follow the mantra, "pick your battles", so if it's something worth discussing, then I'll answer truthfully. If I'm just a little irritated based on something earlier in the day that is of no consequence and is something I won't remember the next week, I'll drop it and endeavor to become happy and enjoy the day. If there's something really wrong, however, especially if it's something in the relationship or a behavior I have a problem with, then I definitely speak up. Nothing will get fixed otherwise, and I don't feel the need to have my men "prove" they care that something's wrong by pressing me for details--it's just not a game I like to play. =)
aerogurl87 Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 I respond with the truth to my boyfriend and that usually leads to me spilling how I feel (no matter how bad it may be) although I try to do it in a calm manner. But hey, when you're in a LDR communication is all you have basically. And the more honest and clearer you are, the better off your relationship is. But that goes for any relationship.
Author Rorschach Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 I'm glad to see there are at least some women out there who have a more level head on their shoulders than my last gf. Gives me hope for the future, keep going everybody XD
sweetjasmine Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 "is there anything wrong?" Now I'm not saying the nobody ever responds with the truth ever, that is of course ridiculous but are there any girls on this board who respond more often than not, with whats actually bothering you rather than responding with the typical 'nothing' when it's written all over your face that something is wrong. I almost always say what's on my mind when he asks that question, but it's backfired tremendously a few times and I often wish I'd just keep my mouth shut. Protip: if you ask someone what's wrong, make sure you're ready to actually hear what's wrong and don't call their concerns "petty bs" if you want them to feel comfortable being open and honest with you.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 I try not to act in a way that would prompt that question, but when he does ask I'm honest. It is rarely anything serious or bad though since we are pretty open in communicating as it is. I used to do the silent passive aggressive thing and then get all pissy and say "NO" and then fume because he didn't already know. That was just my youth and basic stupidity at the time.
phineas Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 I used to do the silent passive aggressive thing and then get all pissy and say "NO" and then fume because he didn't already know. That was just my youth and basic stupidity at the time. Yeah, I had a GF like this. It got real old real fast. I decided she needed to make some other guy miserable.
Author Rorschach Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 Yeah, I had a GF like this. It got real old real fast. I decided she needed to make some other guy miserable. Same XD a big reason why I'm asking is my last GF would do this ALL THE TIME. Very very rarely would she ever tell me what was wrong and would never get over it unless I confronted her about it. She had alot of growing up to do.
alphamale Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 "is there anything wrong?" i've never met a female who responded w/ the truth
khria Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 well, I'd like to think that if i felt comfortable enough with my date, I'd be willing to discuss things. It's unfortunate that so many girls feel they need to take the "oh, nothing" path (it's true), but if you want to hear the truth from your girl, it also helps to make clear that you're accepting of her, and that you can talk about whatever together, and that you won't flip out on her if she says something that you don't want to hear. So, if you really want to know what's wrong, it might help to say something like "it looks like something's wrong. Is it something related to the relationship? Can we talk about it together?" Or if it turns out that it's got nothing to do with you, just offer to listen to her. Girls appreciate this so much...
Author Rorschach Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 well, I'd like to think that if i felt comfortable enough with my date, I'd be willing to discuss things. It's unfortunate that so many girls feel they need to take the "oh, nothing" path (it's true), but if you want to hear the truth from your girl, it also helps to make clear that you're accepting of her, and that you can talk about whatever together, and that you won't flip out on her if she says something that you don't want to hear. So, if you really want to know what's wrong, it might help to say something like "it looks like something's wrong. Is it something related to the relationship? Can we talk about it together?" Or if it turns out that it's got nothing to do with you, just offer to listen to her. Girls appreciate this so much... That sounds like good advice, I'll do that next time I'm in this situation. Phrasing it in a way that lets her know I'm not planning on getting mad at her, but that I just want to understand whats wrong and try to help seems more likely to elicit a positive response than just 'hey whats wrong'. Then if she still says nothing I'm going to go play the video game and rest easy knowing I did what I was supposed to do XD
khria Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 You're right. There's only so much one can push the point, too. It's great you're so concerned about your girl's feelings. Good luck!
Author Rorschach Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 It's great you're so concerned about your girl's feelings. Good luck! Thanks, I hate to toot my own horn (no I dont... I just say that for humility purposes) but I have a really nice personality and a strong sense for when I need to be doing something better in the relationship, and I'm motivated enough to take care of that before it becomes a problem. Now if only I could get more women to give me a chance... *goes and pumps more iron*
sally4sara Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 "is there anything wrong?" Now I'm not saying the nobody ever responds with the truth ever, that is of course ridiculous but are there any girls on this board who respond more often than not, with whats actually bothering you rather than responding with the typical 'nothing' when it's written all over your face that something is wrong. If I know whats wrong, I don't usually even need to be asked. I bring it up. But there are times where I'm in a funk and I won't be able to put my finger on just exactly why. I need to think it over. I still won't say "nothing" and pout. I'll just say I don't know yet.
Recommended Posts