daytripper Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Hello! About a month or two ago I added this girl as a friend on Facebook because she is really attractive and we had a mutual friend. I figured I would chat with her once and see if she was as cool as she was good looking. After looking at her profile I see she has a boyfriend so I just figured I'd forget about it because there are plenty of good looking single women out there. Last Saturday night, I went out with a group of people to celebrate a friend of ours being back in the city. After I'm in the bar for a bit, across the room I see this girl who I had previously friended on Facebook. I was really psyched she was there but she figured she was most likely there with her boyfriend, so I put it out of my head and just had a bunch of fun. Next thing I know she is sitting at my table with me and our mutual friend. We get introduced and she says that I look really familiar. I acted like I didn't know why and then she realized why she recognized me. She then says that when she broke up with her boyfriend that she deleted a bunch of people from her Facebook that she didn't know and that she had deleted me. I put on a big cocky smile and pretended I was offended and told her that I hold grudges. I was then summoned to another table by some other friends so I excused myself and walked away. This was the only time I spoke to her all night. After a few drinks, the group of people I was with decided to go to another bar. After that we went to a third bar. While I was getting my ID checked at the door of the third bar, I felt some one touch my leg from behind. I turn around and she's standing there smiling. I put on a half smile, rolled my eyes and let out a sigh pretending I was mildly disgusted that she was also there. It was getting late and I was sitting with a group of people when she came up to our table and said that she was leaving. She also said she had a free drink if anyone wanted it and went around the table and set it right next to me. When I woke up in the morning I had a friend request waiting from her. I'm not good at reading women, but this girl has some sort of interest in me right? Is it appropriate to ask her out on Facebook? Is it too boring if I just ask her out for drinks or for coffee? Or should I throw something cocky/funny in with it? Should I be worried that she's on the rebound? I would love to hear what you all think my next move(s) should be and if this girl is interested! I feel like I screw up with women in the early stages because I'm really inexperienced at dating and I want to get this one right! Thanks for your advice! Daytripper
Rorschach Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Since you're already playing the cocky jokester i'd say something along the lines of 'well gee, I don't know if I can take the pain of being deleted again, lets go out for a drink(move/whatever you feel like asking her to do) sometime and you can apolgize to me in person' I'd say you definitely sparked some sort of interest and if you've already joked around like that I'd say it's the best way to ask, but see what other people say too.
boogieboy Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 (edited) well since facebook is the only way to contact her now, you have to ask her out on that...I wouldnt make it your first message though. Her signals are positive, but dont assume that she likes you. Just play along and see where it goes. Assume she is looking for attention while you make moves so you wont be dissappointed if she wants to use you for an ego boost. Dont grow any attachments to her until you kiss her. Better yet, dont grow any attachments to her until you know you arent her rebound. Edited April 12, 2010 by boogieboy
BobSacamento Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 I wouldn't ask her out through facebook. That's kind of boring. Since you were introduced by a mutual friend I'd go through that person. Find out the next time they are getting together and magically appear. You already have a nice ice breaker.
Author daytripper Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 Thanks for the advice so far! So I asked a girl that is a friend of mine, Sylvia, what approach should I take on this girl? Should I ask her out on Facebook or would that be too lame? I asked if I should just get her phone number on Facebook and then call her to set up a date? Sylvia told me to not be that forward and to chat with her a bit first. I play in a band and we have a show tomorrow so Sylvia told me to chat with her a bit and then invite her to my show, tell her I can put her on the guest list, give her my number, and then have her text me if she wants to come. So I took Sylvia's advice and started chatting with this girl. We were chatting for about 10 mins casually and I asked her a question and was waiting around 10 mins for her to respond, so I decided to say **** it, I'm not gonna wait around. I told her that I had some stuff to take care of and I had to get going. She replied immediately and said sorry that she was multitasking and that she was sure she would see me around. I then said: "I almost forgot! the band i play in has a show tomorrow at (venue.) it's gonna be a blast, text me if you want to come and check it out. I can put you on the guest list so you wont have to pay cover. my number is xxx-xxx-xxxx. Peace." She said: "Aww I would but I have to bartend all tomorrow night." What do you all think? Was it a good move not being aggressive and giving her my number? Can I expect her to contact her me at all?
Jambalaya Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 Ask her out! Why the hell not? It sounds like she's interested. I'd send her a message and say something along the lines of 'I'd like to ask you out, but doing so on Facebook is lame, so here's my number, text me yours so I can ask you in person - oops! I just asked you out didn't I?'
ReadyforLove Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 Hmmm, sorry but I think she was just being nice/polite. Personally, if I am interested in someone and they ask me out and I am unavailable I would reply with "I can't that day, but what if we meet up on another day?" She declined your date without mentioning an alternative time to meet. Maybe back off a little and see if she contacts you first.
Rorschach Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 Dude your in a band? Seriously that's basically like turning sv_cheats to 1 in the dating world... You did fine giving her your number, she seems interested to me, see if she texts/calls you. Good job. Personally I wouldn't talk to her on facebook for a few days to a week though, to give her ample time to call, cause if she doesn't then she might not be interested anyway.
Rorschach Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 Hmmm, sorry but I think she was just being nice/polite. Personally, if I am interested in someone and they ask me out and I am unavailable I would reply with "I can't that day, but what if we meet up on another day?" She declined your date without mentioning an alternative time to meet. Maybe back off a little and see if she contacts you first. I would agree with this except you can't really suggest to a band 'why don't you play another night'. But I'll agree that you could have asked her 'oh, well then lets do something the next day' just to be clear.
ReadyforLove Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 I would agree with this except you can't really suggest to a band 'why don't you play another night'. But I'll agree that you could have asked her 'oh, well then lets do something the next day' just to be clear. That is very true
Author daytripper Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 (edited) Dude your in a band? Seriously that's basically like turning sv_cheats to 1 in the dating world... You did fine giving her your number, she seems interested to me, see if she texts/calls you. Good job. Personally I wouldn't talk to her on facebook for a few days to a week though, to give her ample time to call, cause if she doesn't then she might not be interested anyway. Sweet. I agree, I am not going to contact her for at least a few days maybe a week unless she gets back to me earlier. I'm hoping to get a text from her tomorrow night asking how the show went, and then I will have her digits and I can call her to set up a date some time. By the way, what are sv_cheats? I'm confused, haha. Thanks for all the input so far everyone! Edited April 13, 2010 by daytripper Forgot Something!
Rorschach Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 By the way, what are sv_cheats? I'm confused, haha. Thanks for all the input so far everyone! Really really really nerdy reference to the way you have to activate cheats as a console command in PC video games. I didn't expect anybody to get it >_>
Agent Thomas Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 Damn, a lot of the things you did are reminiscent of pick up artist maneuvers. (look up pickup artist forums on google for more info). Due to the fact you used those maneuvers, this girl should be an easy win. Absolutely ask her out. Fish in a barrel at this point
Author daytripper Posted April 15, 2010 Author Posted April 15, 2010 Damn, a lot of the things you did are reminiscent of pick up artist maneuvers. (look up pickup artist forums on google for more info). Due to the fact you used those maneuvers, this girl should be an easy win. Absolutely ask her out. Fish in a barrel at this point Interesting, well let's hope this works out for me then! haha. I haven't heard from her yet. When I logged onto Facebook yesterday, my "news feed" had brought up a status update from her that said, "it's wednesday, you guys know the drill. $3 margaritas at (bar where she works) make my night worthwhile and come get drunk." So at least she most likely legitimately had to work and wasn't completely blowing me off. I have a show tonight out of state, work on Friday and Saturday, and then another show this Sunday; so I am probably going to just let this situation simmer, and see if she contacts me before the weekend is out. Otherwise, if she doesn't get a hold of me, I am going to have to come up with some other ideas to get her number or ask her out online (which I feel is kinda lame.) I am pretty confident this girl gets a lot of attention from men, especially since she is recently single. Does this mean that I will have to do all the pursuing because that is what she is used to? I feel like it might be good to be different and not pursue her hard like she is used to guys doing, but I also feel like it's quite possible nothing will happen unless I keep pursuing her. Any suggestions on a plan of attack here? PS: Thanks for all your input so far, you all are so nice!
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