Oozak Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 So, I haven't been on this site in a while, but I thought some outside input would help. November 2009- I started talking to a girl from Australia after discovering our very similar musical tastes. At first we would just talk about the bands we liked, but then we began talking more, more, and more about everything. I never expected myself to have feelings for someone who I had never physically met, but it began to happen. In December we began talking on the phone with international phone cards. Around the end of December, I confessed that I had feelings for her. To my surprise she told me she had feelings for me as well. For two more months we persisted on talking to one another, and in February I told her I was in love with her, and she told me she was in love with me too. We never declared ourselves as "boyfriend-girlfriend". A matter of fact, I don't know what we would be considered as. She has told me such things as, "I've never loved anyone as much as I have you" "I could never stop loving you"...and I honestly feel the same way. However, she began dating someone closer. I asked her about it and she confessed she had been. I was a little hurt, but I could understand her need of having someone physically close. She told me she was going to break up with him, but I told her that she didn't have to do that, and I didn't want him getting hurt either. After all of this she still tells me she loves me and I'm the one she /really/ wants to be with. So, to sum things up. I'm a 19 year old American, and she's a 14 year old Australian (a 4 and a half age difference, and a 10000 mile physical distance)./ Which may sound odd to some people, but I really am in love with her. Despite of her having a closer boyfriend and everything, should I still wait and have the faith that if it's truly meant to be, that me and her will be together someday? Or does this all sound like a bad idea?
hoping2heal Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Are you even for real? If you are yes it's a bad idea. Do you not watch to catch a predator? Google it. She is a 14 year old girl and you are 19 years old. She has no idea what love is yet and it shows; "I love you so much, I will love you forever...oh I am dating someone else." Well, I do believe she is 14. She acts that way. However you are an adult male and what you're doing is illegal.
Author Oozak Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 Are you even for real? If you are yes it's a bad idea. Do you not watch to catch a predator? Google it. She is a 14 year old girl and you are 19 years old. She has no idea what love is yet and it shows; "I love you so much, I will love you forever...oh I am dating someone else." Well, I do believe she is 14. She acts that way. However you are an adult male and what you're doing is illegal. I realize that she is 14 and I am 19, yes. But 4 and a half years is not really that big of difference. She would be turning 21 when I'm 25. She is "real". I am "real". I've heard her voice, I've seen pictures, I've seen her on webcam. And she has heard my voice, seen pictures of me, and seen me on webcam...and just to clarify, no, I do not request to see her nude, I do not have phonesex with her, and I do not believe in sex before marriage, so even if she did live closer to me, I wouldn't be doing anything like that.
aerogurl87 Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Ok Oozak I can tell you that being almost 20 and being with a girl whose not even sixteen yet, is a very bad idea. Even if your talks aren't sexual now, whose to say it won't slip into one of your conversations later? Also 4 and a half years isn't much when your both of the legal age of consent, but when one person is a minor and the other is not, then you have a big problem. This girl does not know what love is, and for all you know she could be messing with your head. I should know, I was 14 once and 14 year olds can "love" one guy one day and be in "love" with someone else the next. Also if she really loved you she wouldn't be dating someone else over in Australia. When someone really loves someone they give that person all of their heart and they don't even think of being with someone else. Please move on before you get hurt.
Citizen Erased Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 You need to back off, she is 14! There's such a thing pedophiles do that is essentially grooming a minor for sex and you would be VERY hard pressed to prove that is not what you were doing. If she's only going to be 21 when you're 25, I suggest you wait until then. At least til she's 18. Come on, she is 14, she wouldn't have the first clue about love, she's a child. You are wasting your time and you could get in a lot of trouble while you're at it. Long distance is hard enough, this is just nuts.
Author Oozak Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 Yeah, that's one thing I s'hpose has been on my mind a lot. Thinking back when I was 14...how much I've changed since then =( And how much she's going to probably change too.
Author Oozak Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 You need to back off, she is 14! There's such a thing pedophiles do that is essentially grooming a minor for sex and you would be VERY hard pressed to prove that is not what you were doing. If she's only going to be 21 when you're 25, I suggest you wait until then. At least til she's 18. Come on, she is 14, she wouldn't have the first clue about love, she's a child. You are wasting your time and you could get in a lot of trouble while you're at it. Long distance is hard enough, this is just nuts. Well, she'll be comin' to the states in 2012 to visit family (and it's just one state away from where I live). So, we had been talking about meeting then. She'll be legal then by the way =O But regardless of that, I'm still not going to "do anything".
Citizen Erased Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Well, she'll be comin' to the states in 2012 to visit family (and it's just one state away from where I live). So, we had been talking about meeting then. She'll be legal then by the way =O But regardless of that, I'm still not going to "do anything". You are seriously deluding yourself if you think she's still going to be around in your life in 2012. I was a 14 year old girl not that long ago, believe me she will find another guy, closer, that she will be madly in "love" with (probably a different one each week) and bye bye to you.
aerogurl87 Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 I agree with CE. 14 year old girls have attention spans like 4 year olds when it comes to relationships. With the next cute guy they see it's always "oh I'm in love". Been there done that, if I were you I wouldn't hold my breath on this one.
Author Oozak Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 Okay, well thank you for all the input. I take all of this into consideration. I guess it's just hard for me to accept what's been said, even though it's probably true.
wien7777 Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Unlucky, mate, but I'm afraid the others are right. Even as a mature 14 year old, it simply isn't worth the risk and out of compassion for you, I would certainly advise moving on. Best of luck to you.
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