Agent Thomas Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Hey all, I have a feeling of what your answer is going to be, but hopefully you'll be able to shed some specific light on it. I have been dating a girl for about 2 months now, and neither of us have quite felt the way we do about each other, before. It was her who said she loved me first, I resisted for a bit because I felt love takes longer than that to build.. but I eventually realized I loved who she was, and I said it back. We have arguments and disagreements just like any couple, I don't want to paint a picture of perfection. Realistically though, we are doing well. Well, that was until her ex of about 6 years, decided to do to her what he does every time she tries to move on. He popped up out of nowhere and said he still loves her and wants to be with her and everything. Well, she basically told him no, and to stop, and go away. Eventually she told him she was with me and she loves me. He then threatens to kill himself. It didn't work though, she still chose to not go back with him. I assume everyone will state the obvious, which is that "if she didn't give you a reason to not trust her, then trust her". But I am worried about this sick ex of hers and what he may try to do to her psychologically, as his track record recently is already proportional to a psychopath. What do I do, to make sure he doesn't get through to her? Or is there nothing I can even do? I have a problem believing in fate. I firmly believe our destiny is controllable.
phineas Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 YOU do nothing. If SHE doesn't want him around then it's on her & her alone. If he keeps coming around it's because SHE lets him. IF he keeps calling her it's because SHE doesn't block his number. No guy & I mean no guy can bother or harrass a woman in this day & age if she doesn't want him to. And you've only known this chick for two months. You have no idea if what she is saying is true. Tell her to deal with the EX permanently & call you because you don't want to deal with this crap. If he's as bad as she says she can call the police or a suicide prevention hotline on him to make him stay away. If she isn't going to do that then I guess you know who is really more important to her.
123BeachFan Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 We have arguments and disagreements just like any couple, I don't want to paint a picture of perfection. Realistically though, we are doing well. Well, that was until her ex of about 6 years, decided to do to her what he does every time she tries to move on. He popped up out of nowhere and said he still loves her and wants to be with her and everything. Well, she basically told him no, and to stop, and go away. Eventually she told him she was with me and she loves me. He then threatens to kill himself. It didn't work though, she still chose to not go back with him. So, what you are saying is that the ex has done this before? He's shown back up when she's dating someone else, and makes a big scene, and she eventually caves in? How many times before has this happened? There's nothing YOU can do to change your GF's behavior with her ex. If it feels wrong to you, or you think she should be reacting to him a different way, you should end the relationship right now. There is nothing the ex is really doing to her psychologically that she's not allowing to happen. What she should be doing, on her own (and not because you demand it of her) is to get a restraining order against the ex, and do everything in her power to cut him off. But if she's thriving on the drama and the chaos, that's a very very bad sign.
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