onedayatatyme Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 .... and, boy, am I nervous. Our hearing to decide temporary living, financial and custody arrangements is on Wednesday afternoon. Man am I freaking out. One of my witnesses has yet to be served and I'm worried that he's actively avoiding service. Other than that, I cannot think of anything more I can do to prepare except get plenty of rest between now and then. But I'm freaking out so much that it's hard to go to sleep. I've lost my appetite again. I feel like a rookie soldier about to storm the beach. I'm all jittery and nervous and feel like I'm about to be sick.
mikeymad Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 One thing I learned is that you have to keep your emotions in check. Don't let the judge see you as being vindictive or a babbling brook. Your conduct can greatly aid you in a final decision down the road as well. Don't expect your W to be cordial. Take the high road, but stand your groud. There are many here who have given up more than they should to try and smooth things over. Counter-intuitively, at this point if you give they will take and take some more. Be prepared to possibly feel like crap the rest of the day. Have something planned for afterwards or a buddy to hang out with.
unsureLP Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 I've never been through anything like that so I don't have solid advice for you (though Mikey's sounds pretty good). I just want to offer my support, especially when it comes to the living and custody issues. I really hope it all pans out the best way for you and your girls. I'll be sending out a solidarity prayer your way on Wednesday.
carhill Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 OP, it's a legal proceeding, not the inquisition Presuming you're not in pro per, keep quiet and let counsel talk. I've rarely spoken in court, only when directly addressed by the judge, e.g. 'Mr carhill, xxxx?'. My lawyer does the talking. IME, you'll be amazed at how fast the hearing goes. I remember my first time I showed 20 minutes early because I was afraid I couldn't find the courtroom. I ended up in the john 'freshening up' and who do I run into in there? Yep, my lawyer. Even lawyers get nervous...
unsureLP Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 I remember my first time I showed 20 minutes early because I was afraid I couldn't find the courtroom. I ended up in the john 'freshening up' and who do I run into in there? Yep, my lawyer. Didn't that make you feel even more nervous?!?
carhill Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 No, actually I started laughing after telling him 'fancy meeting you here' and that broke the ice. All of the trepidation of the process was in my head. With competent, properly prepared counsel, everything is very controlled. We ended up spending a half hour down in the parking garage after the hearing talking vintage BMW's and I gave him a few tips on a problem he was having with his. That's what I want to impress upon the OP. This day will pass. Even if everything isn't perfect, it will pass. Another day is another opportunity. It'll all work out
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