stace79 Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 One time last November, I was trying to convince my ex to get back together and I shared with him a YouTube of the scene about "when is enough enough?" from the movie The Mexican. It implies that basically if you really truly love someone, then the answer is never. It's never too much to work through. I'm not so sure I agree anymore. First I wanted to be back with him; now he wants to be back with me. And I'd finally agreed last week to try to give us a chance to work things out, because I really do love the man. But now, so many of our ghosts are haunting us. One is the ex he broke up with me to go back to in the first six months we started dating. She (still) didn't want a commitment -- just didn't want anyone else to have him (her words) -- so he came back to me. I've never 100% gotten over it. If she'd wanted him, he'd still be with her and we'd never have had a relationship really. Second is that I was pregnant last year and had a miscarriage at 13 weeks. I freaked being pregnant -- thought I could handle it and wanted to keep the baby, then decided adoption would be best. We got in huge fights over it and I broke up with him last October. I then miscarried about 10 days later. I'm still horribly insecure because he always insists he should be able to be friends with whomever he chooses. He did agree to never see or talk to his ex that broke us up; but now during our break, he'd made friends with some women off a dating site and he doesn't want to "burn bridges". I find that horribly selfish. He also brought up the pregnancy/miscarriage again today. It hurts to talk about it. I had a lot of counseling, and felt like I'm at a place where I am okay now. And I just want to move forward, focus on the positive in my life and generally be happy. I think we can choose to be happy every day, despite the horrible things that may happen in our lives. He, on the other hand, wants to go to therapy. It's one thing to go if we're intent on moving FORWARD, building trust and IMPROVING our relationship's foundation. But if we are just going to bitch, bitch, bitch about all the bad things that happened to us, it will do nothing but tear us down -- as individuals AND as a couple. So are we just at "enough is enough?" I don't want to waste more years of my life looking backward at the past (which cannot be changed). I thought we would focus on getting to know one another again, doing the things we should have done before, having fun together and building up a solid relationship based on love and friendship and happiness. Is this a waste of time? Has too much happened for us to have a normal, happy relationship?
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