2sunny Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 he's a complete dork. don't contact him again - and remove him from your facebook page... making sure your settings are private so he can't inadvertantly spy on you.
D-Lish Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 You should never have to chase a guy this much! A good rule of thumb is to wait for the guy to contact you, especially after intimacy. When you sent him that initial text and he didn't respond, you proceeded to text him again and even call him when he didn't respond. Learn to be more patient- if you send a text and don't hear back, let it ride. The bottom line is that when a guy likes you, he will never be "too busy" to get in touch with you. His actions speak loud and clear- he isn't interested "enough". You look amazing in your pic, you shouldn't have to chase down a guy to get him to respond to you or pay attention to you. I am betting you have a line up of boys interested in getting to know you.
SarahRose Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 It amazes me how stupid some guys are. He should just tell you the truth. It seems the dumber they are, the more romantic options they have available to them. From what you posted, it doesn't seem that you've done anything wrong other than think this guy was great. You could have said "we are not cool", instead of "it's chill". That makes it seem like you are ok with his behavior. I didn't see many messages where you let him know how you really felt. It makes it seem that you are trying to keep a backdoor open to let him right back in. He will probably try to use you for sex in the future, do not let him. You've been warned. Drop all contact for your own good. You're only 21 and you don't know anything about guys, get that attitude instead of thinking you've seen it all. The more physically beautiful you are, the more vulnerable you are to players and guys using you for sex. Many of them have mastered it and you don't stand a chance. Look for honesty, faithfulness, and commitment in a man and you'll be in a whole different world of men from guys like him. I hope the best for you and that you are able to find a guy that wants a real relationship and not just sexual encounters. This is the truth about the situation. Guys his age have the goal to bang as many hot women as possible. How many actual dates did you go out on with him before sex? Did he actually take you anywhere or was it just hanging out and couch warming? You interchange with him made you seem really desperate and frankly you don't have to be at all.
Author Serenity Silver Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 This is the truth about the situation. Guys his age have the goal to bang as many hot women as possible. How many actual dates did you go out on with him before sex? Did he actually take you anywhere or was it just hanging out and couch warming? You interchange with him made you seem really desperate and frankly you don't have to be at all. Wow, we've been on many dates within 2 years, none of them involving sex, ever. He did take me on legit dates. We never did couch warming I think. Maybe once but I don't believe so. As to another comment on here, NOOO I am definitely not leaving a door open. I didn't have to bark at him for him to get the message, knowing him trust me, he got the message. Guys, when I said I'm done with him...I mean exactly that. There is no way I will let a guy, whose used me once, let them use me again, I've been smart, I thank my parents for that. I didn't think it made me look desperate, after all we were dating, but I see where you would see that it looked desperate. I think the reason why I didn't see this coming was because I've been going through so much drama in college; I had a stalker and had to take it to the NYPD and I was being verbally harrassed by another guy I used to date, he'd harrass me at my job, my ex was constantly asking people about my wheareabouts and don't even get me started on the perverts on the train. To sum it up I wasn't really trusting ANY GUY except my father. And I thought that since he's been there for me before that I'd give him a chance, I was blind I admit that. **And I do know things, I may not have experienced it all, I was using that as a figure of speech, I know that more BS will come my way I just wish it would stop ^_^
Author Serenity Silver Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 You look amazing in your pic, you shouldn't have to chase down a guy to get him to respond to you or pay attention to you. I am betting you have a line up of boys interested in getting to know you. Thank you, you look so beautiful in your's.
janie423 Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Am I the only one that doesn't like Facebook? Arg. no, I dislike facebook as well . . .
Author Serenity Silver Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 Am I the only one that doesn't like Facebook? Arg. Stop, it's not that bad. If you don't have one just make one, I'll 'friend' you and then it'll be joy
2sunny Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Stop, it's not that bad. If you don't have one just make one, I'll 'friend' you and then it'll be joy and this is exactly why you are susceptible to: I think the reason why I didn't see this coming was because I've been going through so much drama in college; I had a stalker and had to take it to the NYPD and I was being verbally harrassed by another guy I used to date, he'd harrass me at my job, my ex was constantly asking people about my wheareabouts and don't even get me started on the perverts on the train. To sum it up I wasn't really trusting ANY GUY except my father. And I thought that since he's been there for me before that I'd give him a chance, I was blind I admit that. blind trust will put you at risk every time. stick to a boundary that will keep you happy, healthy and safe. did you block him (the exBF) on your FB page?
Author Serenity Silver Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 did you block him (the exBF) on your FB page? I don't even bother, we're not friends on FB anymore, my page is private and I can care less. I did have him blocked at first when we had ended it b/c it was a difficult time. Now I don't care, I haven't even mentioned him since last year before the winter. I know he still asks though because at my old job the workers always tell me "Oh so and so was here and he asked a ****load about you" its stupid. Mind you, he has a gf, the one he cheated on me with. That's a another wild story but one that I've gotten over with- with time.
SarahRose Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Wow, we've been on many dates within 2 years, none of them involving sex, ever. He did take me on legit dates. We never did couch warming I think. Maybe once but I don't believe so. As to another comment on here, NOOO I am definitely not leaving a door open. I didn't have to bark at him for him to get the message, knowing him trust me, he got the message. Guys, when I said I'm done with him...I mean exactly that. There is no way I will let a guy, whose used me once, let them use me again, I've been smart, I thank my parents for that. I didn't think it made me look desperate, after all we were dating, but I see where you would see that it looked desperate. I think the reason why I didn't see this coming was because I've been going through so much drama in college; I had a stalker and had to take it to the NYPD and I was being verbally harrassed by another guy I used to date, he'd harrass me at my job, my ex was constantly asking people about my wheareabouts and don't even get me started on the perverts on the train. To sum it up I wasn't really trusting ANY GUY except my father. And I thought that since he's been there for me before that I'd give him a chance, I was blind I admit that. **And I do know things, I may not have experienced it all, I was using that as a figure of speech, I know that more BS will come my way I just wish it would stop ^_^ You said in your original post that you just started dating him in March but that you have known him several years. How many times since March has he taken you out? Anyway it really doesn't matter at this point since you aren't going to see him anymore.
Author Serenity Silver Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 You said in your original post that you just started dating him in March but that you have known him several years. How many times since March has he taken you out? Anyway it really doesn't matter at this point since you aren't going to see him anymore. I guess you can say it had been an on and off thing. Considering travel, it was pretty rough to get out there to see each other than. I broke up with my ex in 2008. Before I met my now ex I had gone on a couple dates with him, nothing serious just getting to know eachother. After the breakup I went out on more dates with him but the time between then and March was significant. We did talk alot to each other then until we just started to physically see each other again. Hope that answers that, sorry for the length of this.
2sunny Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 I don't even bother, we're not friends on FB anymore, my page is private and I can care less. I did have him blocked at first when we had ended it b/c it was a difficult time. Now I don't care, I haven't even mentioned him since last year before the winter. I know he still asks though because at my old job the workers always tell me "Oh so and so was here and he asked a ****load about you" its stupid. Mind you, he has a gf, the one he cheated on me with. That's a another wild story but one that I've gotten over with- with time. i'm talking about the current guy... :rolleyes: you don't even mentally process yet that he's NOW your ex? chop chop - delete him.
Author Serenity Silver Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 and i mentioned only march because i figured then that this time would be the time when I would make him my next serious relationship.
Author Serenity Silver Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 i'm talking about the current guy... :rolleyes: you don't even mentally process yet that he's NOW your ex? chop chop - delete him. no you're reading my message wrong. I'm not being clear here. I'm trying not to use their real names here but I'm going to have to. I'll mix myself up with fake ones. I had been talking to Eddie, which is the main guy of this whole thread, since before I met my now exboyfriend Zach. When I started dating Zach and then when I broke up with in 2008, it wasn't until some time afterwards I started to reconnect with Eddie. So me and eddie went on a couple more dates, things were on and off due to distance of locations. It wasn't until March that we made our dating really serious. Eddie and I never called each other boyfriend or girlfriend, we hadn't gotten their yet, that would've been the next things if things were obviously different. Does that make sense? lol, please!
Author Serenity Silver Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 I don't know why I'm doing this but I have this opened up so why the hell not. I haven't looked at my phone in hours and I see a text from him (go ****ing figure) and it says this: HIM: "I'm just letting you know me and mike are still going those days to AC" I can't believe the nerve. Because I first invited him to my bday celebration in the begning and now he's still going...same ****ing hotel. If you can't tell I'm pissed. My birthday weekend? I didn't **** on his bday so why should he **** on mine? Maybe I won't care when the day comes. drama...stupid
Rorschach Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 I'm not entirely sure that I understand the problem, he says he's going to someplace that you had planned on going to together, but then you broke up, but now he's still going. So worst case scenario he happens to be at the same hotel as you. Annoying to be sure but how hard is it to avoid him?
Author Serenity Silver Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 I'm not entirely sure that I understand the problem, he says he's going to someplace that you had planned on going to together, but then you broke up, but now he's still going. So worst case scenario he happens to be at the same hotel as you. Annoying to be sure but how hard is it to avoid him? You're right. It should be easy. Annoying but easily managed.
sagetalk Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 HIM: "I'm just letting you know me and mike are still going those days to AC" I can't believe the nerve. Because I first invited him to my bday celebration in the begning and now he's still going...same ****ing hotel. If you can't tell I'm pissed. My birthday weekend? I didn't **** on his bday so why should he **** on mine? Maybe I won't care when the day comes. drama...stupid You ever heard of the song, "Got you where I want you" by the Flys? Well, that's what this guy is singing to you. You have no idea what you are doing. He's going to try to sex with you again, are you gonna give it to him? A dumb girl would. Men will use you for your body until you get old and ugly if you let them.
2sunny Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 no you're reading my message wrong. I'm not being clear here. I'm trying not to use their real names here but I'm going to have to. I'll mix myself up with fake ones. I had been talking to Eddie, which is the main guy of this whole thread, since before I met my now exboyfriend Zach. When I started dating Zach and then when I broke up with in 2008, it wasn't until some time afterwards I started to reconnect with Eddie. So me and eddie went on a couple more dates, things were on and off due to distance of locations. It wasn't until March that we made our dating really serious. Eddie and I never called each other boyfriend or girlfriend, we hadn't gotten their yet, that would've been the next things if things were obviously different. Does that make sense? lol, please! so EDDIE needs to be blocked! FB, phone, e-mail etc. did you do that? block his number too... after you UNINVITE him to your bday bash. tell him he missed his opportunity to be included and you hope he has a nice life. he'll get the message - unless he's an even bigger jerk than he already appears to be.
Author Serenity Silver Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 He's going to try to sex with you again. The way you worded this made my ****ing day. I was laughing for a good while. But I get your message. However I don't understand why some of you think I'm going to have sex with him again. WHAT THE ****? I'm not an idiot. For your information I replied back with I don't care, it doesn't matter. For all I know I might see all my ex's there and I'm still going to enjoy myself with my friends and family. Guys, I guarantee you there will be no shagging of any sort. It infuriates me that people would see me as that stupid and blind. lol how about this when that day comes and goes I will resurrect this old post and tell everyone what happened, it should be interesting
Author Serenity Silver Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 so EDDIE needs to be blocked! FB, phone, e-mail etc. did you do that? block his number too... after you UNINVITE him to your bday bash. tell him he missed his opportunity to be included and you hope he has a nice life. he'll get the message - unless he's an even bigger jerk than he already appears to be. he is uninvited. That's been so clear to him! He knows that!
2sunny Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 he is uninvited. That's been so clear to him! He knows that! good girl! i was perfectly unclear about your actions on this since i kept asking for a yes or no answer and you were never clear... to be clear with a man is key - that way they don't get mixed signals.
D-Lish Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Guys, I guarantee you there will be no shagging of any sort. It infuriates me that people would see me as that stupid and blind. Don't take it personally, no one knows you here, and you've set the record straight about your limits (which I think are spot on). When someone treats you with indifference, they have no place in your life. I have a FWB I have been seeing consistently for a year and a half. When we are together, I could swear he loves me by the way he acts when I am lying next to him naked. But, I know better, and I don't read into it anymore. Guys can separate love and sex, they can compartmentalize in a way we, as females often can't. The same guy that can't keep his hands or eyes off you when you are laying next to him, can easily do the same thing with a different girl the next night. Sex and feelings don't always go hand in hand from a male perspective.
sagetalk Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Guys, I guarantee you there will be no shagging of any sort. It infuriates me that people would see me as that stupid and blind. It's not you, it's many of the girls in this generation. People just lump you in with the rest of the dummies if they don't know you. These girls self esteems are so low that many of them would have sex with him again. I'm glad you are not, it shows intelligence, self worth, and maturity. There is hope for the women of my generation yet .
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