Inflikted Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Long story short, I'm hung up on a girl that I never even got to date. Let me flesh this story out a bit more. I met this girl when we were both kids. We knew each other for a pretty long time, and I always had a thing for her from the moment I met her. Lots of people always tell me that it was just a little "crush", but it always felt like more than that, to me. It's not like I liked her because she was pretty, or had an awesome personality (on the other hand, she didn't lack those qualities, either), but it was always just this... feeling... that I've had, deep down inside. Being around her made me feel calm, at peace, the idea of me and her just felt "right". I never really let on this fact, though, because I felt she was too "out of my league". She was always so sociable and extroverted, and I've always been so shy and introverted. I figured maybe one day, I'd grow out of that, and she'd see I'm pretty cool. I never really did. A few years ago, I got back in touch with her. We were sort of limited to online interactions, at the time, but I wanted to see her again, I wanted so badly to see if I'd still get that feeling from being around her, and most importantly, I wanted to see if maybe we'd hit it off and it would be the start of something. But, I got in over my head; I panicked, I got extremely awkward, I let on too much too soon, and I pretty much scared her off. I hadn't really been able to get a hold of her at all since then. It's been over a year since I've even had any contact with her. These last couple of years, I've been trying to socialize a teeny bit more, and meet other girls, I've even tried dating around a bit, but nothing sticks. I'm so desperate to find that "feeling" I got from that first girl, but I'm not finding it at all; as a result, I've been becoming a bit more pessimistic about the whole dating thing. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever find that "feeling" again. Hell, I don't even know what that "feeling" is, other than just that, a feeling. Worst of all, the longer I go without finding someone new, the more my mind keeps lingering on that first girl. I don't know why. I guess I partially feel like there was never any resolution to that whole situation. I wish I could take it all back; I wish I could let her know that I realize how stupid I acted before, and that I'm sorry for it. I wish we could start with a clean slate... I keep wondering if maybe we'll meet again someday, or get back in touch again some how, and start over. I know it seems silly and pathetic... And I know there's probably no chance that thoughts of me have even crossed her mind since then, but still... I dunno, I just feel so... stuck. I think in order for me to really "get over" her, I need to know for sure that there's something else out there for me. But the longer it takes for me to find that "something else", the harder it gets to believe it's out there, and the more I keep thinking back on her. I don't even know what to do anymore. Sometimes I can just suppress it all, and I'm fine for a while, and other times, it just comes bubbling to the surface and brings me down.
nobmagnet Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 hello, Stuck isnt good:confused: I still have fond memories of my first love But they are memories. I was 15 im now 39. I accidently bumped into him 3 years ago and..........nothing nada. I am not saying this will be your case but we change with age and what we saw as attractive then might not be the same now?? Maybe talking to somebody about it and getting tips to be able to say it was in the past might help? My past is in the past and I try to live with no regrets. I may have delt with things better but it happened and I have learnt. best of luck Nobby xx
Author Inflikted Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 I was 15 im now 39. I accidently bumped into him 3 years ago and..........nothing nada. I am not saying this will be your case but we change with age and what we saw as attractive then might not be the same now?? Yanno, I think that's a part of the reason I wanted to see her again so badly, in the first place. I wasn't necessarily expecting that we'd see each other again, fall madly in love, and live happily ever after. I figured, if I saw her again, and we didn't "click", I could take comfort in the fact that we wouldn't have worked out, anyway. But to not know at all? It's hard not to keep wondering. Especially when I can't find anyone else out there and am slowly becoming less and less hopeful of doing so.
nobmagnet Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 im kinda getting old. i have met many men that i have had "the look" the feeling for. The key is to smile keep that little bit for you. Thats mine. Keep the bubble with you. its a sweet bubble. and nobody could replace my first love either, Its a lovebubble you tell your grandchildren about honey. No more no less. She was your love until......???/??........came along and swept me off my feet. Go try to find a woman you love and respect. Make sure she loves and respects you too. (nothing less) you are allowed to have feelings for another. But in the way that it was aweet and untainted but not real. all me best Nobbyxx:love:
Author Inflikted Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 No one else wants to chime in, huh?
CaliGuy Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 No one else wants to chime in, huh? Read the links in my signature. Tells you how to move on with your life the right way. Why would you want to make someone a priority in your life who only sees you as an option?
Author Inflikted Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 Read the links in my signature. Tells you how to move on with your life the right way. I've pretty much been doing most of the stuff in your second link, for, like, the last year. If it takes my mind off of things, it's only ever temporary, and therein lies my problem; I can't seem to permanently "move on" from her, and get past my "fears" of never finding some one, etc. :/
Recommended Posts