4givrnt4gtr Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 So I've been dating this really sweet guy I've been crushing on for some time now. I've never had it happened that a crush would return the feeling, let alone tenfold. The problem is.....I'm afraid of the redflags (are they redflags???) First, he tells me that he adores me, that I'm all he ever wanted and wants to marry me in the future. That he is willing to wait as long as I need cuz a girl like me doesn't come around often. All this after 2 weeks of dating. (Though we've known each other since january) Then...his past. Out of respect I won't write details, let's just say he's had a rough life til about 7 years ago and still getting back on his feet. He's making progress but I'm afraid he is still not stable enough (emotionally). Then....he says I inspire him to be a better man, that he wants to move even more forward and that I'm giving him direction. He also says he doesn't have friends.....all this makes me nervous that he might make me his whole life, though til now he has not been clingy at all (as in he isn't constantly trying to see me or calling me) Now, despite all this I REALLY like this man. He's sweet, caring and is alwayas ready to help me or do whatever to make me happy. It. Feels like my head is saying uhhhh really???? While my heart is saying hell yeah!!! I feel like its not fair that I judge him cuz of his struggle and his desire to find love specially cuz its not like I'm perfect. But my practical side tells asks why do I want to be with someone who has such obvious issues while I can move on and find someone more stable What do you guys think? Head over heart? Should I run. Despite what I feel for him?
cooldudeinberlin Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 hmmmm.... his "fast" attachment to you is making your head spin.... just because he is thinking fast, doesnt mean you have to. For a moment, think: what is it you want? just a nomimal amount of time to get to know the other, let it blossom a bit and learn each other with no guarantees for it working out or the future? or ready to start letting go of everything and taking the moment's feelings and plunging in? I see somewhat an unhealthy dependent or co-dependent relationship beginning here... doesnt mean that you two are bad for each other, but most definitely, he has some issues (not really that major) that he needs to address for HIMSELF... your concerns over these minor things could be larger issues behind them... having a crush and having it returned only last so long... it wont take very long before the expectation vs reality kicks in... "crushes" are a bit of a fantasy element... when the dust settles, where will you be then?-
Recommended Posts