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Posted

My last dating partner kinda knocked me down. I don't feel good bout myself. how do u improve your self image? no one can tell me enough if i'm decent looking. I have these issues that i don't look good enough. i feel totally awkward when i walk around. i used to not be this bad... :( i might just be paranoid about it, but i can't help it. i almost feel unsuccessful.

Posted (edited)

We think very similarly. I always feel the same way about how people see me. Sometimes I feel very handsome, but there are some days I feel like such a loser. I sometimes like to ask someone how I look, someone who is really honest, but I won't know if he/she is honest so its like depressing to also think of that.

 

You are wondering what the people thinks of you when they look at you, which is why you feel weird when you walk around in public... well this is how I feel...

 

To improve self-image...

- You need a achievement (like being picked prettiest in the class "just an example")

- A very inspirational experience (I experienced this through my cousin who I admire and I want to be like her)

Edited by exoduse22
Posted

What's real issue here? self image or self esteem?

 

OP, i used to have low self esteem and so a bad self image followed. All you need are successful goals (or achievements, as rightly stated by Exoduse). Small steps. Eventually, the validation will follow. ...and confidence. Eventually, you won't even need the validation anymore because you're comfortable with who you are.

 

Fact is, we see ourselves plenty worst than what others actually think.

 

SO...remember - set goals, start small and build with each success. Everything else (including self image) will follow.

Posted
"We picture lovers face to face, but friends side by side; their eyes look ahead" - C.S. Lewis
Slightly off topic, what does the quote mean '...their eyes look ahead'?
  • 4 weeks later...
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Posted
Slightly off topic, what does the quote mean '...their eyes look ahead'?

 

It was in a book about dating someone recommended to me. It was a Christians perspective on the dating scene. The author touched on how lovers were different than friends, because the focus with lovers is in each other, and friends "usually" take the focus outside of the relationship.

 

The author quoted C.S. Lewis as an example to complete what he was saying. He said it's easy to get caught up in the person you're dating and the relationship, and to ignore things around you. It helped me to get over a person, to see him as a "friend" or other person, and shift the focus on other things than him.

Posted
My last dating partner kinda knocked me down. I don't feel good bout myself. how do u improve your self image? no one can tell me enough if i'm decent looking. I have these issues that i don't look good enough. i feel totally awkward when i walk around. i used to not be this bad... :( i might just be paranoid about it, but i can't help it. i almost feel unsuccessful.

 

Your last dating partner was a jerk...and this is no reflection of who you are or what you look like. Usually when people knock others down in this manor, it is due to their own insecurities...it makes some feel better about themselves to cut people down.

 

After a major bout of acute depression, feeling like a loser, without purpose and no vision, I am not sure I can encourage you...but I do understand how you feel.

 

I am taking one second at a time...

 

Ok, I didn't like what happened to my looks also...had kinda the same as you, an abusive bf who tore me down. I have a nervous habit and almost pulled out all my hair a couple of years ago...this changed my entire appearance BTW.

 

I think I'm on my way back up because when getting a haircut this last time my hair went back to normal...a bit shorter than I like (my hair is normally long).

 

We look how we look...you know, some of the "prettiest" people are the most miserable...oh and FTR people are more attracted to a great upbeat personality than physical appearance....we are all beautiful...people, animals, bugs, fish, flowers etc...

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