SavannahSmiles Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 My husband's best friend asked if they could switch wives for one night. My husband is attracted to his wife and isn't sure. I am all for it. Has anyone else done this? Could we really get away with one night or would it turn into something messy? Neither one of us has ever been unfaithful. We've been married 12 years. Any advice or comments are welcome.
confused and broken Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 sounds like a good way to end your marriage
wien7777 Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 sounds like a good way to end your marriage a good and certainly classy way, at that..
You Go Girl Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Hey, go for it. And, if you see him enjoying her more than he's enjoyed you in a long time, you won't get jealous, right? And if she moans for him and yells and screams big boy give it to me, and orgasms 12 times in 3 seconds, you won't get jealous, right? and if he wants to next play wife-swap houses for six months, you won't be bothered, will you? Good, I knew you wouldn't.
whichwayisup Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Neither one of us has ever been unfaithful. Then don't start now.
troggleputty Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 My husband's best friend asked if they could switch wives for one night. My husband is attracted to his wife and isn't sure. I am all for it. Has anyone else done this? Could we really get away with one night or would it turn into something messy? Neither one of us has ever been unfaithful. We've been married 12 years. Any advice or comments are welcome. Well, I've heard of this kind of thing before. But, as a change of pace, why don't you go with the other guy's wife and your h can go with his buddy for the evening? You know--a little "girl on girl" action and some "str8" action. Much more interesting then boring old heterosexual stuff. Sigh. Some people are so tame.
confusedinkansas Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Then don't start now. Not for or against the "Lifestyle"...........But - How is it being unfaithful if all parties involved are in agreement to the arrangement? Sounds like a "swinging" good time!
BlueeyedJonesy Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 yikes! Personally, I wouldn't swing with friends. It seems more risky...and things could get really ugly. If you and your H are interested then find 2 people you wouldn't have to be around again.
crazycatlady Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 yikes! Personally, I wouldn't swing with friends. It seems more risky...and things could get really ugly. If you and your H are interested then find 2 people you wouldn't have to be around again. Probably good advice! I wouldn't swap or join any of my good friends or in invite them to join us. I think its always best to really really really talk out before swapping or having a threesome or anything outside of the box. Talk about it, sleep on it, talk about it some more. Not a choice to be walked into lightly. That said, it can be a lot of fun. But I still wouldn't swap with good friends. You can become good friends with people you swing with, but it might not be a good idea to do it the other way around. Oh and before you decide to do something, talk about it some more. In case you can't tell, the most important thing here is talk...communication communication communication. CCL
Author SavannahSmiles Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 Thanks everyone for the advice. I think that I already knew the answer but needed some reassurance. My H and his best friend have known each since high school. This could potentially break up their friendship and/or our marriage. I don't even know if his W knows about the proposition. It is not worth the risk. I don't even know if we could pick two strangers. I think the idea is exciting but the actual act would be terrifying to me. When you have been with the same man for 15 years it's not easy to just switch to some stranger or at least not for me. Thanks again for helping me out.
califnan Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Thanks everyone for the advice. I think that I already knew the answer but needed some reassurance. My H and his best friend have known each since high school. This could potentially break up their friendship and/or our marriage. I don't even know if his W knows about the proposition. It is not worth the risk. I don't even know if we could pick two strangers. I think the idea is exciting but the actual act would be terrifying to me. When you have been with the same man for 15 years it's not easy to just switch to some stranger or at least not for me. Thanks again for helping me out. --------------------- It's not meant for you to "switch" Savannah, it was just a temptation that was brought on to you .. Your marriage is santified under God..
califnan Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 --------------------- It's not meant for you to "switch" Savannah, it was just a temptation that was brought on to you .. Your marriage is sanctified under God.. ... sorry, correction ..
troggleputty Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 ... sorry, correction .. Sounds like even if no swapping will happen, an affair is brewing between OP and her h's friend. She sounded way too excited about the idea of having sex with the guy. And it was the friend's idea anyway. Now it goes underground. Let us know what happens OP.
dazzle22 Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 Sounds like even if no swapping will happen, an affair is brewing between OP and her h's friend. She sounded way too excited about the idea of having sex with the guy. And it was the friend's idea anyway. Now it goes underground. Let us know what happens OP. Yeah, my guess is the guys have been 'dancing around' this convo for a long time. Unlikely that he just brought it up out of the blue... Her husband admits to liking the other guy's wife too. This is a big Pandora's box, that once opened, could blow things sky high..
Author SavannahSmiles Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 Yeah, my guess is the guys have been 'dancing around' this convo for a long time. Unlikely that he just brought it up out of the blue... Her husband admits to liking the other guy's wife too. This is a big Pandora's box, that once opened, could blow things sky high.. I may not have been completely honest. My H's bf and I kissed one time at a party about 9 years ago. Since then it's a little awkward being around him and his wife. Before we were married, his wife (before she was his wife) was interested in my H. They were both single but they didn't have a lot in common. He met me and set her up with the bf. So there's definitely sexual tension when we're all in the room together. My H and I laughed about it yesterday. We KNOW it would be a huge mistake to act on anything. We decided to distance ourselves from them for a while. The bf is being persistant with the switch since we didn't say NO right away. He's having marital problems and it's his screwed up way of adding spice to the relationship. We want no part of the spice.
xxoo Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 He's having marital problems and it's his screwed up way of adding spice to the relationship. We want no part of the spice. Yeah, that would be a BAD move, if you want to stay friends with bf.
crazycatlady Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 I may not have been completely honest. My H's bf and I kissed one time at a party about 9 years ago. Since then it's a little awkward being around him and his wife. Before we were married, his wife (before she was his wife) was interested in my H. They were both single but they didn't have a lot in common. He met me and set her up with the bf. So there's definitely sexual tension when we're all in the room together. My H and I laughed about it yesterday. We KNOW it would be a huge mistake to act on anything. We decided to distance ourselves from them for a while. The bf is being persistant with the switch since we didn't say NO right away. He's having marital problems and it's his screwed up way of adding spice to the relationship. We want no part of the spice. Never ever be someone's solution to a bad marriage, no matter how hot they are. If your relationship is strong and you approach it in an open and honest manner, having an open marriage is possible without harming the core marriage. But for a shaky marriage its a bad idea bad bad bad idea. And distancing yourself from them probably would be a better idea too. Does your H know about the kiss? CCL
Author SavannahSmiles Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 And distancing yourself from them probably would be a better idea too. Does your H know about the kiss? CCL He does know now. I didn't want the bf to be the one tell him since he's acting weird right now. Since it was 9 years ago and it was only a kiss, H isn't worried. He shouldn't be. Besides, he was considering handing me over for a night for more than a kiss!
crazycatlady Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 He does know now. I didn't want the bf to be the one tell him since he's acting weird right now. Since it was 9 years ago and it was only a kiss, H isn't worried. He shouldn't be. Besides, he was considering handing me over for a night for more than a kiss! Its one thing for it to be done and in the open, and another to be done behind the back. You can be in an open relationship and still have cheating occur. That's why I'm here, but we are working things through, and keeping things open, so if you have more questions about that, I'ld be glad to answer them. CCL
Lizzie60 Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 I slept with a MM who did this... they switched with a couple who were their good friends... what happened is that the other guy's W really REALLY enjoyed my MM... so much that his W got jealous... and didn't want to see her around anymore... BUT... my MM's wife wanted other men... but no more women around... I'm not sure what happened to his W.. but he finally went outside to get his needs met... I don't even know if they're still together, I haven't seen him for years. Methink that for your H and his friend, they think about some excitement in bed... so it can lead to As... you might never know about it.. but they are already in 'another' mood..
Phateless Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 My husband's best friend asked if they could switch wives for one night. My husband is attracted to his wife and isn't sure. I am all for it. Has anyone else done this? Could we really get away with one night or would it turn into something messy? Neither one of us has ever been unfaithful. We've been married 12 years. Any advice or comments are welcome. It COULD go smoothly, but in all honesty I don't foresee this ending well. I think the four of you should talk about this at length and agree on some ground rules before proceeding. I am friends with some people who are poly-amorous and it's not a problem so long as everyone is on the same page. It's not my thing, but many couples practice it successfully. Ignore the haters and do what feels right. PLEASE have a get together where all four of you talk this out thoroughly and make clear agreements on what will happen.
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