Loquacious Miss L. Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 I'll try to keep this simple. I met this guy about a month ago. He's smart, sweet, thoughtful, texts/calls when he says he will. We see each other a few times a week. He came into my life right before the sh** hit the fan, ie, the death of one of my family members. I have have tried not to "lean" on him and keep things light but truth be told I've let my guard down with him a little bit. I told him as much a few times ago when we hung out...just that I like him and spending time with him. After that, last week, he still was in contact with me but not nearly as frequently. When we saw each other again, he asked what was on my mind. I simply said, with reservation because I don't want to have the "talk" per se, but I told him that I was a bit nervous around him, because I didn't want to like him but I do. His deal? He's separated....and said he doesn't want to "jump" into anything right away because he wants to get to know me first before doing that. He has expressed that by his actions. I called his you know what about his actions the week before and he agreed I was right. So, he's scared, I'm scared too. We talked about the importance of taking it slow. So at this point, I am wondering what I should do? Nothing? Text him? Call him? Give him space? I don't want to fall for someone (and I could) that is emotionally unavailable. As of right now we are "more than casual but less than serious," which we mutually decided upon. I don't know if I should give him space--preserve my feelings...or pursue in some way. My gut says to leave him be for the time being although it's hard.
Rorschach Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 I totally understand where you are coming from, but personally I think you should leave him be if you don't want to come off as too hasty. Let him call you but express interest in spending time with him, take it slow but make it clear that you don't mind. If he doesn't want to get to involved there is no way to force him to and the only thing that might happens is you push him away.
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 Thank you. So my gut is right. I think I will leave him be for now. It is hard as I want to talk to him more/text more. Ahhh. The virtue of patience.
Rorschach Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Thank you. So my gut is right. I think I will leave him be for now. It is hard as I want to talk to him more/text more. Ahhh. The virtue of patience. I've been in the exact same situation in a relationship that ended 2 years later on good terms (for completely unrelated reasons) and giving her space was definitely the best option for the time, she wanted to keep going but was worried about something or other and just needed time to work it out herself. Even if it doesn't work right now then that means it wasn't meant to be anyway and you forcing the issue would never have helped.
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 I know. Time will tell I suppose? Grrr.
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 I wonder if there are any posters who have been where I am? I'd love to hear your experiences.
Rorschach Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 I wonder if there are any posters who have been where I am? I'd love to hear your experiences. is the waiting getting to you? haha I'm pretty sure at some point everybody has been in this position, it's not a fun position to be in I guess the most important thing to remember is that you've done all you can and the ball is in his court. If worst case scenario something does happen you should have no regrets because you did exactly what you were supposed to do.
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 Yep, I don't like waiting, period....betcha can tell. I did briefly contact him today and he responded right away and we're hanging out tomorrow. Problem is this, and I'm scared to admit it; I think I like him more than he likes me.
D-Lish Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 Always trust yourself when it comes to your gut. Def. give him space- you don't want to be in the position where you like someone more than they like you. I'd refrain from making first contact as much as possible! Especially since he has stated he wants to take things slow. Keep busy, and keep your dating options open until he can say with confidence that he wants to get more serious. He should be the one to bring up taking the relationship to the next level.
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