davegfx Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Bit of background, ex broke up with me just over 2 months ago, and went right into a relationship with another guy (still with him). I've been pretty good with the NC but the last couple of weeks shes been increasingly contacting me. I was ignoring most of it but I cracked in the last couple days. I've actually been feeling more confident & happier lately, but this latest has really thrown me and stirred up all the old feelings about her. Just when I kind of felt I was beginning to move on and get over the hurt. 3 weeks ago - She Fb messages me asking for her bike lock. I ignore. 2 weeks ago: She called me up and I dumbly answered. Before this, there had been no contact for at least a month. She started ranting about me having beers with her cousin. I told her I'd do what I want and anyway didn't care what she thought since she started ****ing another guy as soon as i was out the door. She told me if i ****ed better, i'd still have a gf.... Past Week: Monday - text message apologising for what she said. Wednesday she calls up, I ignore. Thursday she calls up, I ignore. Later Thursday she calls, I answer, and say right away "i'll call you back", and she's like "im calling to apologise". So, i call her back later on, and we have a LONG talk and she apologises for how everything went down with the breakup. She wants to be friends, but i say I'm not ready for that, can't accept her apology yet, but would like to see her son (2.5 year old who i love dearly) again when im ready. Thursday, driving into town - seriously completely by coincidence about 3 hours after the call, i pull up at a traffic light and they're next to me, so I asked her to pull over so i could see her boy. She gave me ultra big hug, kiss on lips. Eeek...definite spark. Brought back a LOT of feelings. I know she felt it as well, cause she kinda smiled and went 'uh oh'. Boy was going bonkers seeing me, and she had tears in her eyes. Friday - i posted on facebook status going down to a pub for beers at 4.30. Anywya, she must have checked my fb cause she messages me at about 7.30 saying "hey, when are you picking me up to go down to the pub". I ignore. Saturday - wake up at 10.30 with her in my bedroom, wake wake up. Let's have some coffee. She's all jovial, i wanted to see you now that we're friends. So i kinda wake up, and we chat casually for a bit, and then eventually I'm like "listen, i don't think this is going to work. I'm still working through this hurt and seeing you isn't going to help. We'll get to being friends eventually but its got to be way slower than this. " She gets all teary eyed, starts talking about what a damn tragedy it was that we didn't work out. That she misses seeing me. Anyway, talk for awhile about things, she leaves, long hug. SO WTF does this all mean?!!?!
Odyssey Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 I could be wrong here, but i think the ex is hitting a bad patch with bf... so turns to you for emotional support.
jthorne Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 She wants you as a backup in case things don't work out with the new BF.
Author davegfx Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 so how do i handle this? Just tell her I can't handle being friends? Go immediate NC?
chapter44 Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 It sounds like a typical cheating woman to me! I would definately go NC until she comes to you and says she is sorry and not sleeping with the other man. Take this time and decide if you can handle being friends or if you want her back but focus only on yourself with the thought that any relationship with her is completely over. My ex cannot be alone at the slightest problem she was trying to reconnect with her ex. We were engaged and after 3 times of re-establishing contact with her ex after a rough patch I said enough and left and took my ring back. I cannot give my love to someone who could be so disrespectful and I deserve better from someone who supposedly loves me and so do you. If she truly wants you back she will make those changes if she is incapable of change it is better that you find out now and move on to a woman who is capable of being in a mature relationship.
skydiveaddict Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 so how do i handle this? Just tell her I can't handle being friends? Go immediate NC? ........yes...........
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