seeker77 Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 My neighbor and I have lived across the street from each other for years never really talking or knowing each other. But several years ago my wife divorced me and now I'm over that ready to explore. Several months ago me and her met and hit it off and had sex early on. We both agreed then to just be friends with benefits with no strings because neither of us knew what we wanted. We also agreed that after sexual relations we could never just be hangout type friends because of the attraction. The long evening visits and 3 hour phone conversations ensued and we were both having a blast basking in each others company. She was dropping little statements like "well I like to do this or that but you'll get used to that over time" and "be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it all". It kind of led me to believe that she was losing her flame for the ex and replacing it with me. But soon after a social event she told me that she had met face up to him and there was still no way they would ever get back together but she was still in love with him. We continued to hang out and talk on the phone after that but it dwindled quickly. next thing I hear is that she just wants to be friends with no benefits. After that she completely withdrew for two weeks and I gave her space. Then she calls and wants me to come over not even wanting me to put the phone down to get ready to go out. Talked me all the way to her house and was holding the door open for me there. I thought she might have had a change of heart but later that evening we talked about it and she had not changed. It was then it dawned on me that I had been compared to her ex that she still loves. So the next day I caught up to her and told her that I could be the "emotional support" that she needed but wasn't going to because it wasn't fair to me. And she said "and that won't happen until I get over the ex" I said "that's right". She helplessly replied "that's never going to happen" shaking her head. I said "just give it time away and It'll happen". I said that she needed to find someone that she could love and they would provide her with the emotional support that she wanted. I told her if she needed anything to give me a call, bid her a good evening and went home. Now I think she's mad at me, she will hardly look at me when I see her outside and has dodged a phone call and very short spoken on texts. I still have feelings for her but know that there is probably no return from being compared to the past love and am man enough to deal with it fine. I don't want to lose her as a friend and wonder did I do or didn't do something to jeopardize things? Whats going through her mind?
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