Don'tWannabeAWannabe Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 I mean don't get me wrong, if I found a pretty enough girl who'd be up for it, I'd do it. I'm just saying, when your in the club and bar environment, all the girls just seem wary and defensive of every guy around them. A lot of you said it's because they've been approached all night by drunk and aggressive slobs or guys who blatantly make a play for sex right then and there. I'm just saying if you're trying to meet a girl in a club, how do you distinguish yourselves from those guys? Besides being composed and not slobbering and stumbling around everywhere like a drunk buffoon (even thought that sometimes works for some guys) how can you imply that you're not just there looking for a one night stand? That you're interested in just having a chat with her, getting a phone number and perhaps meeting at a later date?
Engadget Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 I'm usually just honest about it, and the last two times I did it, it didn't turn out so well. I think the women took it as "I'm not attractive enough to be desirable".
ADF Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Convincing women in clubs that you're not just after a one night stand is going to be difficult bordering on impossible. Clubs are all about guys looking for one night stands--that's about the only reason most guys go. Have you ever heard a guy say, "I'm going to the club 'cause I really feel like dancing tonight?" I haven't either. Also, keep in mind that club culture is not a happy, go-lucky culture. Not at all. Club culture is nasty, competitive, aggressive and occasionally violent. There may be some exceptions, but not too many. Women who go to clubs are likely to be especially defensive, and you can't really blame them.
Engadget Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Convincing women in clubs that you're not just after a one night stand is going to be difficult bordering on impossible. Clubs are all about guys looking for one night stands--that's about the only reason most guys go. Have you ever heard a guy say, "I'm going to the club 'cause I really feel like dancing tonight?" I haven't either. Also, keep in mind that club culture is not a happy, go-lucky culture. Not at all. Club culture is nasty, competitive, aggressive and occasionally violent. There may be some exceptions, but not too many. Women who go to clubs are likely to be especially defensive, and you can't really blame them. Yeah clubs are meat markets, and a lot of the women go there for the same exact reason. Last time I was at one a drunk girl basically pressed her chest into me, giving me this horny, drunken look. People like to think women don't do it, but they do just as often. Don't look for a non-one night stand girl at a club basically.
MrNate Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Yeah clubs are meat markets, and a lot of the women go there for the same exact reason. Last time I was at one a drunk girl basically pressed her chest into me, giving me this horny, drunken look. People like to think women don't do it, but they do just as often. Don't look for a non-one night stand girl at a club basically. There is truth to this.
123BeachFan Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Maybe you're going to the wrong clubs and bars. Try something a little less meat market-y, a little more down to earth.
sally4sara Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Well, when you get one willing to have conversation with you, you try to find common interests. Invite them to go do something at a later date and don't say anything about going back to your place or their place. If she seems interested in whatever you offer to go do, you set up your exit. Say you're there with a friend and you've ignored your buddy long enough. It makes for a good reason to ask for their number so you can follow through with the offer to go do whatever while also not looking like you are just wanting sex for the night. Generally guys who are only interested in sex what immediate results.
alphamale Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 how can you imply that you're not just there looking for a one night stand? chicks already what you are there for and what you are not there for
Author Don'tWannabeAWannabe Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 Maybe you're going to the wrong clubs and bars. Try something a little less meat market-y, a little more down to earth. Down-to-earth places just don't have the quantity of pretty girls as major clubs do though.
Engadget Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Down-to-earth places just don't have the quantity of pretty girls as major clubs do though. Sadly that's also true.
Woggle Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Down-to-earth places just don't have the quantity of pretty girls as major clubs do though. They might not have the quantity but they have better quality.
confused and broken Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Don't take them home....lol Like you said don't get plastered... have a conversation.. ask for their number to meet up sometime... BUT a club is a difficult place to accomplish that Most people go to the club to dance, drink, and maybe have sex NOT to get into a long term relationship
Twenty-ten Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Whatever you do don't tell a girl you are not looking for a casual sex. Show her in actions. When you tell a girl that, she expects you to live up to your words. If you date her a few times and then dump her after you have sex or simply because you are not into her as much as you thought, as some guys do and this is what makes women distrustful in them in the first place, then there is no point in preempting it with "I am not looking for a fling" Inevitably it might just turn out to be a fling and this is what plays with girl's heads. If you talk to her at a club don't ask her back to continue the night at your place or hers, that is #1 sign that you looking for a ONS. Be different, don't be like all the others looking for immediate gratification. If you are at the point where you are talking fluidly make conversation about common interests or things you both might like, for example a new movie that is out or a new restaurant you would like to check out ad you could say slyly "well we should go check it out sometime" You test the waters at that point and you also make her see there is potential for dating, you are not just looking to bang her and move on. Women pick up on the subtleties in conversation. If you are at a comfortable point where you can drop hints to future outings that is a good sign that we pick up on that you are looking for more than just sex. Or if you don't want to be as forward as saying we should do X, you could say I've always wanted to do X but it would be so much more fun to do it with someone else, and smile and look at her when you say. You need to drop hints that mean, I want to share activities and life situations with you, not just see what you look like from behind with your head buried in my pillow.
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