sahbena Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 My ex and I broke up about 6 months ago after a yr of being together. We made a good couple and were always there for each other. We didn't live together but I would wash and cook for him and he would cook for me too. If I wanted something, he would go out of his way to ensure I got it and I would do the same for him. When I met him, he was dating someone else and I told him I wasn't interested as he was seeing someone. After that he chased after me until I caved him and by that time he wasnt seeing the person anymore. So we took it slow and started to date. The funny thing is that he told his friends we were dating even before I knew it was official. Seems I was always one step behind. Whenever we argued it was always about the same thing, religion. And we followed the same religion but we had our differences which is understandable. Everyone won't agree with everything and we agreed to disagree. He said I was the only girl that he could see himself with in the future and we were beginning to plan toward that. We spoke about family and wedding and stuff and we were comfortable. Then after a couple months he began to make a lot of references to his ex. His ex broke up with him about 3 or 4 years ago and left him because she was of a different religion and her family threatened to disown her if she stayed with him. She made her choice and decided to leave him. He clearly hasnt gotten over it cause even when we were watching tv and something as simple as an ad came on it somehow was related back to the ex. I got fed up and told him I couldnt do it anymore and he needs to get over his ex and then try to have a relationship because he clearly hadnt moved on. He told me she was 'deleted' and that was the only reference he had to a serious relationship because it was the only one he ever had. And I was making a big fuss about nothing. Needless to say I stayed and tried to take things really slowly and see if he was telling the truth. To cut a long story short, one day he decided he was done and he said let's just be friends. I wasnt interested in being his 'friend' and I clearly stated that to him. I told him i wanted my stuff that was at his apt back and i would bring his stuff that was at mine. When I told him this he flipped out and said he couldnt believe it came to this and he got so angry. I was shocked as he was the one that ended it and I think that it was fitting that I gave him back his property. He had a dvd at my apt and my vacuum and car key was with him. After the 'blow up' I didnt push the issue and held on to the stuff until i felt it was time to try again. I told him i wasnt looking for him to come back so he should get his stuff and let us move on. during the time we were seeing each other he always said that if he was done he never looked back. I reminded him of what he said and he couldnt remember that and got angry again when i said i wasnt looking for him to come back. Go figure. Thats when I started to get really confused. How is it u want to end the relationship but get angry when I'm trying to move on. We talk every couple of days via text. Last month he told me his sister is flying in and he wants me to meet her. I couldnt believe it. Why would he want me to meet his sister and we're broken up, dont have any real conversation and dont see each other?? He already introduced me to all his other family when we were together. I don't know how to read him anymore. I'm so confused. For the easter holiday he kept sending me these happy easter messages, and he normally tells me have a good day or hope my day goes well and blah blah blah. Could he want me back? I'm so confused. Can anybody interpret this behaviour? I find men to be so strange and this is the strangest one I've met so far. I'm lost. Any of your thoughts would be grately appreciated.
TaraMaiden Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Have you got your stuff back? If not, do you care whether you get it back, or not? He keeps in touch with you because you let him. The way to stop him contacting you and confusing you, is to stop him contacting you and confusing you. Cut him off completely, go No Contact and make like he does not exist, in this world, in a parallel universe or anywhere else, for that matter... It really is that simple.
Author sahbena Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 I got my car key back after about 4 months. Honestly I want him back but he is the one that broke it off so its up to him. But I'm not waiting for him and I'm enjoying myself right now. He needs to be a man and just say what he wants. simple. If not, his loss.
TaraMaiden Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 He dumped you. but he's yanking your chain and confusing you. The only thing you should respond to is: "Please forgive me. I made a horrible mistake. I need you in my life and desperately want to try again. I would do anything to have you back with me for ever and will do whatever it takes to regain your trust, respect and love" Anything else is not worth listening to. Go No Contact and cut him off. Com-pletely.
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