Jersey Shortie Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 A lot of times for us guys who are not universally attractive it's difficult to find women interested in us for long periods of time. What do you expect a guy who hasn't been with a woman in a year to do? A lot of us want to put in the time and effort to make a woman interested but #1 it's hard to find single women (atleast where I'm at) #2 when you do find them, often times they are not sexually attracted to me no matter what I do. So I only have a girl in my life maybe 1 time every 6 months at best or sometimes every 2 years. I have to use hookers sometimes. Imagine if you had to go 2 years without any male intimate contact. You'd use a prostitute yourself . Women really shouldn't judge about this, men who use the service of prostitutes don't do it because they want to, they do it because they have to.[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] Well, I've gone two years without any intimate male contact. Dating and sex isn't easier on women. Sure, I could casually hook up with guys but they wouldn't care about me. And on that note, I've been attracted to men that aren't stereotypically handsome. So perhaps it's a confidence thing with you? As in not having the confidence or skills to work with real women you don't have to pay? Wouldn't your time be more valued on learning about real women? Heck, I even find Mickey Rouke attractive in a weird way. I don't get it myself, but I do find him strangly attractive. Lastly, You're situation sounds different then the guy in the OP. I am a little more soft hearted to you then I am him but I still think you should try something different.
Author ingridh Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 No, I think you are incredibly curious about this very very "bad boy" that your sister is thinking about dating. That's why you want to meet him. It sounds like you have "bad boy fever" to me. Oops you caught me. Yes, I would snatch him from my sister and go hooker hopping with him around the world! Woo Hoo! Oh, by the way, you don't, by any chance, have Jesse James' phone number, do you?
Twenty-ten Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 I'm sure you've had a one-night stand at some point in your life. Get off your high horse. Imagine if we punished women for being sluts like they used to in the 1950's? Never. But even if I did, I can have sex because the urges overcome me what is so wrong about that? Are you really going to compare a woman who in her lifetime has had a few ONSs to a whore who has more men in one day than most women have in a lifetime? As good as I feel my sexual attributes are, I would never capitalize on them for $$$. That's depressing. Would you want your daughter to be a prostitute? Join me on my horse, there is room for two, and the air is quite nice up here.
make me believe Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Oh gross. If a guy told me he'd paid for sex with a prostitute even once I'd have absolutely no interest in him any longer. Sorry, guys, I don't care what your excuse is, how long it had been since you'd had sex, blah blah blah. Somebody who pays for sex cannot possibly have the same values/standards as me, and I'd immediately lose interest. But to make matters worse, this guy makes it a regular thing to go to prostitutes! How much more does your sister need to know? WHY would she want to get involved with him? Why can't he form normal intimate relationships with women or manage to go a few months without sex? Why does he continuously resort to paying for it? He honestly sees nothing wrong with this?? Also, the people who are comparing going to a prostitute with having a one night stand are way off base, imo. There is a huge difference in PAYING SOMEONE TO **** YOU and meeting someone in a bar, sharing physical attraction/chemistry, and mutally deciding to have sex. Anyone who claims they are the same (or even comparable) is being deliberately obtuse.
eraser Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 However, in his case it wasn't part of a habituated pattern of thought and behavior. In the case of a man who made a habit of strip clubs and prostitutes, yes that would be a dealbreaker for me, because of the implications that he thought of the female body and female sexuality as object commodities to be bought and sold. Idealogically, I have a problem with this. In addition, in some of the areas it sounds like this guy is traveling to the brothels are highly unlikely to be staffed entirely with willing adult women who chose their lifestyles. Sex slave trafficking is still a booming business all over the world--yes, it's even in North America--and people who callously disregard the implications of this in order to get their rocks off, however legally, would never be compatible with me. Great post.
dazzle22 Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Is your sister desperate or unattractive? Why would she be willing to 'settle' for a guy like this? If this is what he admits to even before the first date, what is going to come out after date #3?? Dismembered women in suitcases? Sounds like a giant red flag to me..
PJKino Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Yes, because you didn't want it. But for men often times we are without female intimate contact because they don't want us, and often times there's nothing we personally can do to change their mind. The confidence stuff is baloney. I'm extremely confident but manage to do it without being arrogant. What does it matter if you have confidence though, if you don't have the tall height, biceps, and car to get your foot in the door? Well after you meet dozens and dozens of women who are either not interested in you or already have a boyfriend, sometimes it looks like the only way out. Learn what? Women do like me after they get to know me, but only to string me along or tease my cock. Despite connecting with me, women always think they can "do better" when it comes to romance. And it's different for a movie star and famous person than it is for an average guy. I am nowhere near as conventionally unattractive as Mickey Rourke, but he has millions of dollars and is a good actor. You are also probably older and more mature than women my age (early 20's). No, but I am comparing a woman whose had a few one night stands with a man whose seen a few prostitutes. Sure women don't have to pay, but that is only because almost all women will be sexually desirable to someone, even if its a drunkard at the bar. Sure blah blah blah women want more than that and all that jazz, but guess what? Most guys don't even get that consolation prize of being able to get laid whenever you want for free. Some of us guys are completely normal looking too, I've seen some real hideous women have 2 or 3 good looking guys at the bar desperate for her time! So it is a valid comparison. A woman having sex with a guy she just met is THE SAME THING as a guy having sex with a woman he just met for money. Thank you,women have no idea how hard it can be for a man especialy if hes not that attractive to women.. So becasue i wasnt blessed with great genetics i have to never feel a womens touch because of the stigma attatched to prostitution?
Author ingridh Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 (edited) Is your sister desperate or unattractive? Why would she be willing to 'settle' for a guy like this? If this is what he admits to even before the first date, what is going to come out after date #3?? Dismembered women in suitcases? Sounds like a giant red flag to me.. No, my sister is not desperate or unattractive. Neither is she 'settling' for a guy 'like this'. They have known each other for a year, although never met in person. If, he hadn't voluntarily disclosed the info, sister wouldn't have known and would have met up with him. She could have liked him, fallen for him and oops, something he forgot to tell her at the beginning.... Well, I do have to give the guy credit for being upfront, and then leave the choice of meeting or not to my sister. Assuming that my sister will immediately sleep, fall for him at first sight, or that there will be date #2, # 3, etc.... is rather ridiculous. Edited April 13, 2010 by ingridh
Twenty-ten Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 Assuming that my sister will immediately sleep, fall for him at first sight, or that there will be date #2, # 3, etc.... is rather ridiculous. It is? Is it really ridiculous to think that a woman who meets a man she has been communicating with for a year, for the first time, might like him even fall for him and see him again a second and third time? If it is that far fetched then why did they even spend a year getting to know one another?!?!? What is far more ridiculous is to think that none of that will happen if she finds him attractive in person. Let's face it, she already has enough emotional investment in the relationship having spent a year communicating with him so the rest is just a skip away.
dazzle22 Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 Sorry,... a bit too sarcastic. I sometimes joke to make a point but that part doesn't always come across on paper. Don't you think it is very worrisome that this guy's 'hobby' is looking for hookers in all the cities he travels to? If he really is that great a guy, he won't have to be doing this, unless he really has a 'thing' for this kind of situation. And the other thing that would bother me,and this was my point, if this is what he admits to up front, what kind of things does he HIDE? Because everyone hides things at the beginning of relationships to make themselves look better. The other reason he might do this, is so he can say later, 'well, I told you up front how I was..you knew that even before we met..' as an excuse for really bad behavior..
SincereOnlineGuy Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Women... will you date someone who has used hookers? You didn't even ask the correct question... which is: "will you date someone who would tell you about it had they used hookers?"
SincereOnlineGuy Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 a woman he just met for money. Sorry, you're wrong! She just met him for money, he in turn met her for sex!
Jersey Shortie Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Yes, because you didn't want it. But for men often times we are without female intimate contact because they don't want us, and often times there's nothing we personally can do to change their mind. They want me for the wrong reasons. And they weren't looking for committed relationships. So you could say they don't me. And there is nothing I can do to change their minds either. The confidence stuff is baloney. I'm extremely confident but manage to do it without being arrogant. What does it matter if you have confidence though, if you don't have the tall height, biceps, and car to get your foot in the door? Same goes for breasts, waist, hair, face, butt for women. Learn what? Women do like me after they get to know me, but only to string me along or tease my cock. And some men sleep with women and never call them again. Relationship teases perhaps? Despite connecting with me, women always think they can "do better" when it comes to romance. This applies to both genders. And it's different for a movie star and famous person than it is for an average guy. I am nowhere near as conventionally unattractive as Mickey Rourke, but he has millions of dollars and is a good actor. You are also probably older and more mature than women my age (early 20's). I don't think he is attractive for his money. He just has a quality. I am in my late 20s by the way.
Rorschach Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 I want a real relationship, one that is deep and meaningful and actually has a chance of going somewhere, and I can't even get women to have one night stands with me. I don't care what I hear from any women EVER, it's harder for a man to just 'get laid' than it is for a women. Now 'getting laid' is not what I want out of meeting somebody, not by a long shot, and I know its not what you want either. But you can't deny it's easier for you.
Jersey Shortie Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 I want a real relationship, one that is deep and meaningful and actually has a chance of going somewhere, and I can't even get women to have one night stands with me. I don't care what I hear from any women EVER, it's harder for a man to just 'get laid' than it is for a women. Now 'getting laid' is not what I want out of meeting somebody, not by a long shot, and I know its not what you want either. But you can't deny it's easier for you. It's obvious that a few of you don't care what you hear from women or what women go through and how dating and relating can be just as hard for us. It's all about your personal pains and how much of a struggle it is for *you*. That's what matters. *you* and *your* pain and struggle. Forget anything of the fact that women go through hard things too. It's *your* struggle and pain that is *worse*.
Rorschach Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 It's obvious that a few of you don't care what you hear from women or what women go through and how dating and relating can be just as hard for us. It's all about your personal pains and how much of a struggle it is for *you*. That's what matters. *you* and *your* pain and struggle. Forget anything of the fact that women go through hard things too. It's *your* struggle and pain that is *worse*. I think your missing the point...
Mutant Debutante Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 I think in this one instance, it's you guys who are missing the point. If a woman isn't into casual sex, it's not because she doesn't seriously still want sex, it's because the thought of having her body used by a stranger is repulsive to her. For many women taking someone into your body is a big deal. She still gets painfully lonely and misses sexual contact, and she spends her time trying to find someone to have a relationship with her (and be sexual with them) which might be really hard for her and take a long time because that's not most guys' objective. Having sex with strangers isn't really an option for that kind of woman because psychologically it is NOT easy for her even if that's what guys want from her. In that way you guys might be luckier than she is, because you CAN get your itches scratched physically, and she just can't get hers scratched that easily. I'm not sure why some of you guys think the ability to get used for sex is a prize that makes dating easier for women who aren't into casual sex, it really doesn't compute that way. Still, kind of off-topic, right? The OP didn't ask guys who use hookers to explain why they think it balances out society or whatever.
Rorschach Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 I think in this one instance, it's you guys who are missing the point. If a woman isn't into casual sex, it's not because she doesn't seriously still want sex, it's because the thought of having her body used by a stranger is repulsive to her. For many women taking someone into your body is a big deal. She still gets painfully lonely and misses sexual contact, and she spends her time trying to find someone to have a relationship with her (and be sexual with them) which might be really hard for her and take a long time because that's not most guys' objective. Having sex with strangers isn't really an option for that kind of woman because psychologically it is NOT easy for her even if that's what guys want from her. In that way you guys might be luckier than she is, because you CAN get your itches scratched physically, and she just can't get hers scratched that easily. I'm not sure why some of you guys think the ability to get used for sex is a prize that makes dating easier for women who aren't into casual sex, it really doesn't compute that way. Still, kind of off-topic, right? The OP didn't ask guys who use hookers to explain why they think it balances out society or whatever. thanks MD, makes alot more sense explained that way. i can definitely see the point now. Still find it frustrating though, not only the feeling of not being able to 'get any' but the feeling of not being wanted.
Mutant Debutante Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Oh please, the average woman would be ecstatic about casual sex with one of their hollywood crushes, or even just a very good looking random man who happens to be tall and muscular. Someone's getting laid somewhere, if they weren't than my football player friend wouldn't tell me every weekend about that shy, cute quiet girl in history class he was banging at a frat party. Women like casual sex as much as men do. They just shoot a LOT higher. Because women have a lot more to lose (pregnancy, reputation, etc) women will only have one night stands and casual sex with a guy who looks 10 out of 10 while most guys would consider it even for a girl who is 1 out of 10 with enough booze in their system ahahah . I never said ALL women don't like casual sex. The women you're talking about above obviously wouldn't count as women who can't handle/aren't into casual sex. Some women =/ all women, just like not all men pay out for hookers and whine about the injustice of girls on forums.
Mutant Debutante Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 (edited) thanks MD, makes alot more sense explained that way. i can definitely see the point now. Still find it frustrating though, not only the feeling of not being able to 'get any' but the feeling of not being wanted. Sure. Feeling unwanted is hurtful and sad, for anybody who feels that way. I am sorry that you do and hopefully it's just a phase. Edited April 14, 2010 by Mutant Debutante typo
Rorschach Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Sure. Feeling unwanted is hurtful and sad, for anybody who feels that way. I am sorry that you do and hopefully it's just a phase. I'm working on it XD I take control of my life, so when there is something I don't like (feeling unwanted by the opposite sex) I decide whats causing it (acne, glasses, weight problems) and take action (cream, contacts, lose weight). First two were easy, last one is going to take a couple more months but I'm pretty posotive about it since I know its just a matter of time.
Mutant Debutante Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 I'm working on it XD I take control of my life, so when there is something I don't like (feeling unwanted by the opposite sex) I decide whats causing it (acne, glasses, weight problems) and take action (cream, contacts, lose weight). First two were easy, last one is going to take a couple more months but I'm pretty posotive about it since I know its just a matter of time. Hey I really hope that all works out the way you want it to, good luck gettin some wimminz. Look at it this way, in some ways you were lucky. I know people who those creams don't work for AT ALL who ended up taking those acne medications that can mess up your liver or give you flipper babies. And there are still far worse obstacles. The dating world can be a real rat race.
Rorschach Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Hey I really hope that all works out the way you want it to, good luck gettin some wimminz. Look at it this way, in some ways you were lucky. I know people who those creams don't work for AT ALL who ended up taking those acne medications that can mess up your liver or give you flipper babies. And there are still far worse obstacles. The dating world can be a real rat race. Yeah, I am lucky in alot of ways, weight comes off easily for me as long as I work at it, I have the body build of a barrelchested, broad at the shoulders, narrow at the hip, stud muffin if I just put some effort into it. I really like my personality and I think the right girl would like it too. And the acne isn't really that bad so a mild over the counter cream cleared it all up. I count my blessings all the time. Now I just need to find some wimminz
Anela Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 They want me for the wrong reasons. And they weren't looking for committed relationships. So you could say they don't me. And there is nothing I can do to change their minds either. Same goes for breasts, waist, hair, face, butt for women. And some men sleep with women and never call them again. Relationship teases perhaps? This applies to both genders. Thumbs-up, Jersey Shortie. I was thinking the same things... It isn't nice, knowing that someone is only looking to use you to get some sexual satisfaction. I've never liked the idea of casual sex/one-night stands, or "friends with benefits". I wouldn't knowingly be with someone who has been with prostitutes... I was really attracted to someone, before they went to Bangkok for a vacation. He wouldn't tell me what had piqued his interest, before he left (though, when he got home, he told me that one part of his decision to go, had been the idea of "having fun" - not expanding on that). He told me that nothing happened, when I brought it up - getting angry all over again - but I can't think of him without seeing bar girls in my head, knowing part of his reason for going, was to at least be around them. I also have a problem with men or women seeing it as "just business". It's so cold, I don't understand how anyone gets satisfaction from that. When it comes to places like Bangkok, so many men go there to take advantage of the situation... they aren't all unattractive - there are plenty who go to do Bangkok 'the right way'. It's a real turn-off.
Anela Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 It's obvious that a few of you don't care what you hear from women or what women go through and how dating and relating can be just as hard for us. It's all about your personal pains and how much of a struggle it is for *you*. That's what matters. *you* and *your* pain and struggle. Forget anything of the fact that women go through hard things too. It's *your* struggle and pain that is *worse*. This is so true... I do feel for men in this situation, if they aren't even having any luck with the 'nice girls' - those who are overlooked by those wanting the cheerleader or another 'hottie' (as someone else mentioned the other day). The thing is, it isn't nice for us either, but we aren't supposed to complain about that, or feel bad. We're just supposed to accept that that's the way society is.
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