Lizzie60 Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Interesting point, men AND women lie about these kind of things, and it doesn't have to be hookers only. Exactly...
MrNate Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Exactly... Now that would be an interesting discussion lol
kiss_andmakeup Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Interesting point, men AND women lie about these kind of things, and it doesn't have to be hookers only. Exactly. It's just like men who say they would never seriously date a girl who has slept with x number of men...right...like the girl is going to say "oh by the way you should know that I've slept with about 50 guys."
eraser Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Exactly.. it's the same thing with people who had a lot of sexual partners... why would they compromise their chances... it would be stupid... so people are smarter than that and just keep their mouth shut... and women who pretend to know that their partner has NEVER been with a hooker or had many partners.. probably don't know the truth.. becaus it's surprising how many men have tried hookers just for the kick.. or just to see if what they heard was true.. How is this at all relevant to the topic at hand? The fact is that this is a guy who has admitted to being with multiple hookers in the past. This seems to be a habit for him and that, to me, would be a cause for concern. There are a few differences between having one-night stands and having a penchant for hookers. The OP knows this, otherwise, he would have started an entirely different type of thread.
Stockalone Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 My sister asks: should she or shouldn't she? Does she really have no opinion (for or against) about guys who use hookers? Frankly, I would tell my sister that she shouldn't meet this guy. If she wants to give him a chance, I think she should ask him about his reasons for using hookers. Or should I go with her on their first meeting to check the guy out before deciding? Unless you intend to chaperone them every time, I don't think that will help all that much. Granted, you might get a feel for the guy, how he acts, what vibes he sends, etc. But still, I wouldn't accompany her. If she has doubts about meeting him alone, she shouldn't be meeting him at all. Exactly. It's just like men who say they would never seriously date a girl who has slept with x number of men...right...like the girl is going to say "oh by the way you should know that I've slept with about 50 guys." Cowards have always been selfish, and I doubt that will ever change. And more often than not, they are hypocrites too. When someone else does the same thing they do (lie, try to take advantage of them, maybe even cheat), they are especially outraged because apparently only they are allowed to do those kind of things...
MrNate Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 How is this at all relevant to the topic at hand? The fact is that this is a guy who has admitted to being with multiple hookers in the past. This seems to be a habit for him and that, to me, would be a cause for concern. There are a few differences between having one-night stands and having a penchant for hookers. The OP knows this, otherwise, he would have started an entirely different type of thread. I smell a new thread. I think it's possible to have a penchant for one night stands as well. But again, I think the op will make the best decision. Heck, I would be up in arms over any guy interested in my sister.
eraser Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 I smell a new thread. I think it's possible to have a penchant for one night stands as well. But again, I think the op will make the best decision. Heck, I would be up in arms over any guy interested in my sister. Of course it's possible to have a penchant for one-night stands. Again, there are differences between regularly having one-night stands and regularly visiting hookers. One is that, with one-night stands, the two parties are consenting. A hooker/john scenario is not necessarily like that. Hell, most hookers aren't even attracted to who they're sleeping with. Then, there's the control aspect, etc. etc.
MrNate Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 (edited) Of course it's possible to have a penchant for one-night stands. Again, there are differences between regularly having one-night stands and regularly visiting hookers. One is that, with one-night stands, the two parties are consenting. A hooker/john scenario is not necessarily like that. Hell, most hookers aren't even attracted to who they're sleeping with. Then, there's the control aspect, etc. etc. What does attraction have to do with this? Money is exchanged for consent. I really don't see much of a difference. Except maybe one is easier? It seems like men also have a double standard put against them also eh? Women: Disclosing actual amount of sex partners. Men: Using hookers. Surely we don't want to be judged over these. Edited April 11, 2010 by MrNate
threebyfate Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Of course it's possible to have a penchant for one-night stands. Again, there are differences between regularly having one-night stands and regularly visiting hookers. One is that, with one-night stands, the two parties are consenting. A hooker/john scenario is not necessarily like that. Hell, most hookers aren't even attracted to who they're sleeping with. Then, there's the control aspect, etc. etc. I disagree that they're different. It's all one big baggage train and not worth getting involved with.
eraser Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 What does attraction have to do with this? Money is exchanged for consent. I really don't see much of a difference. You don't think that habitually sleeping with people that really don't want to sleep with you makes for a slightly different dynamic? I disagree that they're different. It's all one big baggage train and not worth getting involved with. Definitely the same train. Slightly different baggage types, though.
Author ingridh Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 Wow. Almost unanimously 'no' and 'no'. Thank you all very much for helping. Had a long discussion with little sister and got to know a bit more of the story. They have been chatting on line on and off for more than a year. Gotten closer, 'friendlier' and started to talk on the phone during past six months. They also exchanged snapshots. It seemed to be time to meet in person. Then the guy said, 'Before that, let me tell you something about myself......" According to sis, the guy is funny, charming, down to earth, sincere.... she thinks at least they are friends, for now. Oh, and he has a steady job which requires extensive travelling. Here comes the fun part: few years ago, he had come across a website where members post and rate all the whorehouses/prostitutes in the world down to fees, names and telephone numbers (if anyone knows the address, please post here. Serious.) So when he travelled alone, and not dating anyone, he would check out the best rated whorehouses in the foreign cities he was going to visit. (For curiosity and research? ) So far he has been to: Amsterdam, London, Berlin, Prague, Buenos Aires, Rio, Japan, HongKong, Singapore, Sydney... (I am sure I missed a few ) Also that he likes to go to strip clubs to unwind, when he is not in a relationship, of course. He did make sure all the whorehouses he visited were legal, 'clean' and condoms a must, even for bjs. He was telling my sister this because he didn't want any surprises to be found out later if they did end up seriously dating. And he left it up to my sister to decide if she still wanted to have lunch/dinner with him for the first meet. (Actually it was my sister who suggested to me: "Hey, maybe you should come with me to see for yourself if he is a good guy or not." ) IMO, it is a case of damned if he does (disclose), damned if he doesn't. But regardless, after reading all the responses above I am inclining to advise sister to not go. At least not now. Perhaps wait a few months. And if she still wants to meet with him, I will probably drop her off, say hi to the guy and pick her up after. Let me know what you think?
MrNate Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 You don't think that habitually sleeping with people that really don't want to sleep with you makes for a slightly different dynamic? It seems we're in agreement. It's not that much of a difference. One just involves some money in exchange for consent. Hookers know exactly what kind of business they're involved in. Seems like men and women have double standards put against them.
MrNate Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Regardless of what we say, it's your call man. You're her sibling, so you know her best. Good luck!
threebyfate Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Wow. Almost unanimously 'no' and 'no'. Thank you all very much for helping. Had a long discussion with little sister and got to know a bit more of the story. They have been chatting on line on and off for more than a year. Gotten closer, 'friendlier' and started to talk on the phone during past six months. They also exchanged snapshots. It seemed to be time to meet in person. Then the guy said, 'Before that, let me tell you something about myself......" According to sis, the guy is funny, charming, down to earth, sincere.... she thinks at least they are friends, for now. Oh, and he has a steady job which requires extensive travelling. Here comes the fun part: few years ago, he had come across a website where members post and rate all the whorehouses/prostitutes in the world down to fees, names and telephone numbers (if anyone knows the address, please post here. Serious.) So when he travelled alone, and not dating anyone, he would check out the best rated whorehouses in the foreign cities he was going to visit. (For curiosity and research? ) So far he has been to: Amsterdam, London, Berlin, Prague, Buenos Aires, Rio, Japan, HongKong, Singapore, Sydney... (I am sure I missed a few ) Also that he likes to go to strip clubs to unwind, when he is not in a relationship, of course. He did make sure all the whorehouses he visited were legal, 'clean' and condoms a must, even for bjs. He was telling my sister this because he didn't want any surprises to be found out later if they did end up seriously dating. And he left it up to my sister to decide if she still wanted to have lunch/dinner with him for the first meet. (Actually it was my sister who suggested to me: "Hey, maybe you should come with me to see for yourself if he is a good guy or not." ) IMO, it is a case of damned if he does (disclose), damned if he doesn't. But regardless, after reading all the responses above I am inclining to advise sister to not go. At least not now. Perhaps wait a few months. And if she still wants to meet with him, I will probably drop her off, say hi to the guy and pick her up after. Let me know what you think?He's telling her upfront who he is and how he views women and sex. If she gets involved with him, expect that who he is won't change.
Twenty-ten Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 So when he travelled alone, and not dating anyone, he would check out the best rated whorehouses in the foreign cities he was going to visit. (For curiosity and research? ) So far he has been to: Amsterdam, London, Berlin, Prague, Buenos Aires, Rio, Japan, HongKong, Singapore, Sydney... (I am sure I missed a few ) Also that he likes to go to strip clubs to unwind, when he is not in a relationship, of course. Eww revolting!!! NO I would not knowingly date a man like this! On the strip joint thing and how he likes to go "to unwind" guess where he will be unwinding when he ends up in a long term rel with your sister? It won't be with her by the fireplace with a glass of wine, that I can guarantee. I think he told her all that already because he clearly has an addiction.
troggleputty Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 My sister met a guy online who told her that he had many times paid for sex with hookers in various countries and he also likes to go to strip clubs. However, he wouldn't do that if/when he was in a serious relationship. Said he wanted to come clean before meeting my sister in person. My sister asks: should she or shouldn't she? Or should I go with her on their first meeting to check the guy out before deciding? What is there to "check out," exactly? Either the hooker thing is a deal-breaker or it's not. But your sister already knows about it because he told her about it. No, I think you are incredibly curious about this very very "bad boy" that your sister is thinking about dating. That's why you want to meet him. It sounds like you have "bad boy fever" to me.
Lizzie60 Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Wow. Almost unanimously 'no' and 'no'. Thank you all very much for helping. Had a long discussion with little sister and got to know a bit more of the story. They have been chatting on line on and off for more than a year. Gotten closer, 'friendlier' and started to talk on the phone during past six months. They also exchanged snapshots. It seemed to be time to meet in person. Then the guy said, 'Before that, let me tell you something about myself......" According to sis, the guy is funny, charming, down to earth, sincere.... she thinks at least they are friends, for now. Oh, and he has a steady job which requires extensive travelling. Here comes the fun part: few years ago, he had come across a website where members post and rate all the whorehouses/prostitutes in the world down to fees, names and telephone numbers (if anyone knows the address, please post here. Serious.) So when he travelled alone, and not dating anyone, he would check out the best rated whorehouses in the foreign cities he was going to visit. (For curiosity and research? ) So far he has been to: Amsterdam, London, Berlin, Prague, Buenos Aires, Rio, Japan, HongKong, Singapore, Sydney... (I am sure I missed a few ) Also that he likes to go to strip clubs to unwind, when he is not in a relationship, of course. He did make sure all the whorehouses he visited were legal, 'clean' and condoms a must, even for bjs. He was telling my sister this because he didn't want any surprises to be found out later if they did end up seriously dating. And he left it up to my sister to decide if she still wanted to have lunch/dinner with him for the first meet. (Actually it was my sister who suggested to me: "Hey, maybe you should come with me to see for yourself if he is a good guy or not." ) IMO, it is a case of damned if he does (disclose), damned if he doesn't. But regardless, after reading all the responses above I am inclining to advise sister to not go. At least not now. Perhaps wait a few months. And if she still wants to meet with him, I will probably drop her off, say hi to the guy and pick her up after. Let me know what you think? This caught my attention... methink this guy will swallow her alive and spit her out in a second... she is way too insecure and immature to meet with a guy like this... he is too experienced in that department and he will manipulate her like he wishes... Not a good idea.. those guys know who they can 'manipulate' or not.. they would stay away from strong women or at least would NOT divulge them those information. Tell her to drop him...
Twenty-ten Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Sure, sure...it's insecurity and weakness that drives a woman's disgust in a potential mate's interest in visiting whorehouses around the globe. A strong woman who is self-assured would welcome that in a mate. I love the internet!! You read stupid things daily but some days you read things that are so stupid, you can't even call them stupid. They need to accumulate all the stupid things they say in order to be even considered stupid because if there were bank accounts for stupid comments some people's accounts would be in the negative.
Jaytb Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 I'm guessing most women will say no. No one wants to open themselves to STDs by dating someone who has used hookers.
Stung Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 I had an ex-bf who had gone through an experimentation phase in his late teens that did involve one night with an escort. It wasn't my favorite thing about him but we talked about his reasons for it and the fact that it was something he had not repeated because he wasn't fond of some of the psychological ramifications of it. I appreciated his honesty with me and since it had happened years before I met him and I knew he'd been tested since I wasn't worried about STD's or anything of the sort. However, in his case it wasn't part of a habituated pattern of thought and behavior. In the case of a man who made a habit of strip clubs and prostitutes, yes that would be a dealbreaker for me, because of the implications that he thought of the female body and female sexuality as object commodities to be bought and sold. Idealogically, I have a problem with this. In addition, in some of the areas it sounds like this guy is traveling to the brothels are highly unlikely to be staffed entirely with willing adult women who chose their lifestyles. Sex slave trafficking is still a booming business all over the world--yes, it's even in North America--and people who callously disregard the implications of this in order to get their rocks off, however legally, would never be compatible with me.
PJKino Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 Women arent attracted to me apparently so how else am i gonna get some female companionship? Not my fault i wasnt born with a good enough face so i have to play with the cards i was dealt which means paying for it since i cant get it for free..
norajane Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 (edited) Here comes the fun part: few years ago, he had come across a website where members post and rate all the whorehouses/prostitutes in the world down to fees, names and telephone numbers (if anyone knows the address, please post here. Serious.) So when he travelled alone, and not dating anyone, he would check out the best rated whorehouses in the foreign cities he was going to visit. (For curiosity and research? ) So far he has been to: Amsterdam, London, Berlin, Prague, Buenos Aires, Rio, Japan, HongKong, Singapore, Sydney... (I am sure I missed a few ) Also that he likes to go to strip clubs to unwindHave you asked your sister why she isn't concerned about this? Most women would indeed run the other way. Perhaps you really do need to find that website and have your sister spend some time reading it. It might be eye-opening for her to see how the men who frequent these place speak of women and their attitudes toward them. ETA: Just googled "foreign whorehouse ratings"...the first hit that comes up is probably close enough for your needs. Edited April 12, 2010 by norajane
sweetjasmine Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 However, in his case it wasn't part of a habituated pattern of thought and behavior. In the case of a man who made a habit of strip clubs and prostitutes, yes that would be a dealbreaker for me, because of the implications that he thought of the female body and female sexuality as object commodities to be bought and sold. Idealogically, I have a problem with this. In addition, in some of the areas it sounds like this guy is traveling to the brothels are highly unlikely to be staffed entirely with willing adult women who chose their lifestyles. Sex slave trafficking is still a booming business all over the world--yes, it's even in North America--and people who callously disregard the implications of this in order to get their rocks off, however legally, would never be compatible with me. Absolutely, agreed 100%, especially the part about sex slavery and trafficking. I wouldn't date someone who casually visited whorehouses across the world and didn't have a problem with the thought of paying for sex with a woman who was trafficked into the country as a slave and forced into prostitution to pay her "debts". Anyone who doesn't find that totally revolting isn't compatible with me by a long shot.
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