ingridh Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 My sister met a guy online who told her that he had many times paid for sex with hookers in various countries and he also likes to go to strip clubs. However, he wouldn't do that if/when he was in a serious relationship. Said he wanted to come clean before meeting my sister in person. My sister asks: should she or shouldn't she? Or should I go with her on their first meeting to check the guy out before deciding?
The Paper Knight Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 I am a guy, but I would say he sounds like an over sexed man who wants just that, more sex. Is seeing hookers the meaning of free love or having a gf?
mushmush Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 A leopard never changes his spots.. Past sexual relationships no matter what their type, should be left in the past. I've had a few bad relationships, I don't go blabbing about this when i meet someone new. Nor do I talk about previous one nights stands. Who is he trying to convince that this wont happen when he is in a relationship??? your sister or himself? I would tell your sister not to date this guy simply because he discussed his past sexual history before meeting.
Bejita463 Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Or should I go with her on their first meeting to check the guy out before deciding? I am curious why you think this is a viable option. I am assuming there is some sort of difference in culture and/or upbringing, that makes that thought seem more reasonable to you than it does to me. I am genuinely interested in what that difference is.
Jersey Shortie Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Well first, no I wouldn't date a man that dated hookers. Especially in various countries. I would be questioning a host of things. Not because of some prudish ideal about sex. But because I don't want a man that took the easy way in being intimate with women. And I wouldn't want to date a man that traveled the world just so he could bang women. If a man has repeatidly used hookers, that's time he took away from actually getting to know real women, have real experiences, with women that might honestly be interested in him. It doesn't seem like he cares about investing time with women who will like him for him. He just wants the easy sex without doing any of the work. If he did have an interest in women who wouldn't be sleeping with him just for his money, he would have already been doing that by dating women who were truly interested in him and learning about what it entitles to hold relationships with women who were there to date him for him. Secondly, this man has no personal filter. Between his sexual experiences and telling your sister on the first date something so inimate, that doesn't bode well for the future. He expects her to accept him warts and all for no other reason that he is "him". That's another personal filter issue. I also doubt his behaviro will stop just because he is dating someone. Infact, he might be telling your sister early on so that when he does "slip" or whatever, he can tell your sister "but I told you what I was about going in". Tell your sister to move on.
Ariadne Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 My sister met a guy online who told her that he had many times paid for sex with hookers in various countries and he also likes to go to strip clubs. However, he wouldn't do that if/when he was in a serious relationship. Said he wanted to come clean before meeting my sister in person. My sister asks: should she or shouldn't she? Or should I go with her on their first meeting to check the guy out before deciding? In this case, most likely this guy will cheat. He is too horny and goes for any woman available.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 It's the fact that he likes to go to strip clubs that spells he has a habitual pattern in frequenting establishments. So if he came clean about sleeping with hookers ( which basically are prostitutes) any chance he came clean about his recent test results?
phineas Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 The guy must be very good looking or very rich because most women I know would of broken off contact with the guy otherwise.
RedDevil66 Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 yuck, no! Talk about walking into a whole lot of pain.
123BeachFan Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 He's probably hoping to find a woman that is such a hottie that he will be motivated to leave his strip joint and hooker habits behind. However, I doubt he'll ever find such a woman. It's not just that he's lonely and wanting sex that he seeks out hookers and strippers. It's much more than that, probably bordering on addictive type behavior. And, was his habit that severe that he feels he has to 'fess up before his first meeting? I mean, did he file for bankruptcy, or lose his first wife because of his strip joint habits? I would run fast the other direction.
CLC2008 Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 my sister met a guy online who told her that he had many times paid for sex with hookers in various countries and he also likes to go to strip clubs. However, he wouldn't do that if/when he was in a serious relationship. Said he wanted to come clean before meeting my sister in person. My sister asks: Should she or shouldn't she? Or should i go with her on their first meeting to check the guy out before deciding? no.........
Rhythmic Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 A lot of times for us guys who are not universally attractive it's difficult to find women interested in us for long periods of time. What do you expect a guy who hasn't been with a woman in a year to do? To keep trying and/or stay alone and isolated from any intimacy. If you can't find love you are not allowed to just settle for sex.
carhill Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 That's a dating/PUA tactic. Smell test returns a bit of a stench. Avoid
Rhythmic Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Oh and to the op. The reason he uses prostitutes matters the most. If he does it just because he particularly enjoys the taboo of it or because he was desperate for any sort of connect from the opposite sex. tell your sister to run as fast as she can if it is the first one. If it is the second one then if she really likes him and everything else besides that seems ok then go ahead and take it slow. Though there is no telling what sort of emotional baggage he might have from the past.
Rhythmic Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Well obviously the fact that it's the oldest and most profitable profession a woman can occupy would kind of disprove that It's easy to say to keep trying and stay alone...when you've probably never been in that boat. I can bet you have never (after age 18) gone 2-3 years without any female company, I can tell from your post. I've tried many times with women who i had everything in common with and who saw the very best side of me, and this still isn't enough to make them pick me because they have some hang up about physical features like they only like guys with long blonde hair or guys who are tall, or some stupid crap. So I really do not care anymore, and yes I will settle for sex until something better comes along. If it doesn't, well it doesn't really matter because I have atleast one of my basic needs met. Forums need a sarcasm tag.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 No way in hell. These behaviors are in the bottom tier of low, in my book.
threebyfate Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Your sister should avoid this guy like the plague. Why date someone who views women as commodities to buy and use? For that matter, the chance of him acquiring one or more STIs is pretty high.
eraser Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Or should I go with her on their first meeting to check the guy out before deciding? Are you not at all concerned for your sister and her well-being? What, exactly, do you think you're protecting her from by showing up to their first meeting? The damage will be done after that. Like when he sticks his infected wang in her. Or when he becomes enraged when he realizes that she isn't a sex prop. Or when she doesn't accommodate his every personal whim (like he's used to).
kiss_andmakeup Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Probably not. It's just filthy, you don't know where that sh*t's been. But people lie. I'm willing to guess that most men wouldn't volunteer the information to a woman they're seriously interested in. It doesn't paint a very flattering picture of them and it also shows them as having no "game." So who knows, maybe I've dated someone who's been with hookers and not known it!
Lizzie60 Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Most women will say no.. but the funny thing is...maybe half the women on here have been with those guys and have no ideas... Most men who have been with hookers will not tell anyone... It's just hilarious.. 'OMG.. I never would.. it's digusting'... maybe you're already married to one of those guys...
kiss_andmakeup Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Most women will say no.. but the funny thing is...maybe half the women on here have been with those guys and have no ideas... Most men who have been with hookers will not tell anyone... It's just hilarious.. 'OMG.. I never would.. it's digusting'... maybe you're already married to one of those guys... This is what I'm saying! Men don't just volunteer that info...they keep it tucked away!
MrNate Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 My sister met a guy online who told her that he had many times paid for sex with hookers in various countries and he also likes to go to strip clubs. However, he wouldn't do that if/when he was in a serious relationship. Said he wanted to come clean before meeting my sister in person. My sister asks: should she or shouldn't she? Or should I go with her on their first meeting to check the guy out before deciding? I definitely understand your want to protect your sister. If it was me, I would tell her not to do it, but it would be wrong not to consider my sister's feelings as well. If she is interested in the guy, and he is clean (he might as well 'fess up to that too, since he just disclosed all that other information.) I guess he would be worth at least meeting. Why exactly does that make him a bad guy, unable to form relationships with women just because he's used hookers? Wouldn't that be along the lines of a woman who engages in a one night stand? I fail to see much of a difference. This kind of reminds me of the issue of how a man, is not secure if he can't get over a woman's sexual past. We all have our preferences, but let's be fair people. If your sis feels something is there, just consider her thoughts first. And above all, be careful!
Lizzie60 Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 This is what I'm saying! Men don't just volunteer that info...they keep it tucked away! Exactly.. it's the same thing with people who had a lot of sexual partners... why would they compromise their chances... it would be stupid... so people are smarter than that and just keep their mouth shut... and women who pretend to know that their partner has NEVER been with a hooker or had many partners.. probably don't know the truth.. becaus it's surprising how many men have tried hookers just for the kick.. or just to see if what they heard was true..
carhill Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 This is what I'm saying! Men don't just volunteer that info...they keep it tucked away! Right, and, IIUC, they haven't even met IRL. IMO, he's targeting a specific female demographic. His methodology is practiced. It's not about hookers and strip clubs, to be sure
MrNate Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Most women will say no.. but the funny thing is...maybe half the women on here have been with those guys and have no ideas... Most men who have been with hookers will not tell anyone... It's just hilarious.. 'OMG.. I never would.. it's digusting'... maybe you're already married to one of those guys... Interesting point, men AND women lie about these kind of things, and it doesn't have to be hookers only.
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