littlebittle Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 I went on a date about a week ago with a guy from the internet. I am somewhat recently out of a relationship and I don't meet people from the internet very often. But it was fun and we seemed to get along well. After the date he sent me an email saying that he had a really great time and he wanted to hang out again. I replied and said we should hang out again, but we didn't make any plans. We've been texting here and there during the week, and yesterday he sent me a text asking, "What are you up to tomorrow?" I was busy during the day but I said I didn't have plans for the evening yet. He never responded, but then texted me again today saying that a friend of his had just bailed on him and he had an extra ticket to see a band tonight if I was interested in going with him. I thought that was kind of an odd way of asking me to hang out and it didn't make me feel very enthused about going. I responded to his text asking what time and where, and then he responded saying, "I've been feeling kind of sick since lunch, I'm gonna need to get back to you about tonight." At that point I got a call from a friend asking to go out tonight so I texted the guy back and said, "No worries, I'm actually gonna go out with friends tonight. Feel better!" Like, not to be rude, but I'm not into little games. I feel like he is trying to come off as aloof or cool or something. I'm used to guys being sweet and attentive to me, because I'm really sweet and affectionate and straight forward in dating. I hate games. Does it sound like he's kind of playing games or am I writing him off too quickly?
ADF Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 He may be playing games, or he may just be very nervous. Don't write him just yet, but if he persists in this weird behavior, call him out on it.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 He's not coming off as aloof, he's just using you as the " backup". I would go for the ' initiating' just to test him out. Ask him out again and see how he responds. If he's enthused about meeting you, he would say yes. But if he decides to back out sometime before the date, I would completely write him off.
Author littlebittle Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 Update: So he sent me a text saying that he had taken a nap and he was feeling better. I responded and said that he could come hang out with my friends and me if he wanted to. Then he was like, "So what you're saying is you went out tonight, but you didn't want to go to the show with me... I'm still going to this show because I have a ticket, but I would love to do something with you next week." I said, "Yeah, maybe next week" (only because I work during the week and I tend to be busy). And he wrote back, "I don't like maybe's, come over on Wednesday!" I didn't respond to that because I was sort of tipsy at that point and I ended up sending him some texts about a Pauly Shore movie that was on. I think he likes me, we'll see. Thanks for the advice!
Fouts Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Sounds like he could use a lesson in etiquette and communication maybe, but I don't think he was playing games. Give him another chance and see how he handles it.
Woman In Blue Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 ...and then he responded saying, "I've been feeling kind of sick since lunch, I'm gonna need to get back to you about tonight." Seems he put the invite out to several people to use that extra ticket. He probably didn't want to commit to going with you because he had someone else he was still waiting to hear from and wanted to buy some time so he told you he'd get back to you later. Talk about transparent.
mortensorchid Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 You're just the backup. That's ok if you've been with him for a long time, but as you just met I think it's reasonable for you to ask for more notice than those texts.
Author littlebittle Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 Update again: He texted me today saying that the show was good last night, but that he wished I had gone with him and he wanted to know what I had ended up doing instead. He asked me what my plans for the week were and I mentioned going to another show with someone. He responded by saying, "Well if you ever want to go to a show with ME, please let me know." I felt kind of bad then so I said, "Let's watch a movie on Wednesday instead" (he had asked me to hang out Wed in a previous text), and he never responded. I don't know if I have the energy for this! I don't mind if I'm like a backup person or whatever, I just don't have much patience when people are flaky or bad about responding.
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