JoshRubin78 Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Hello all. My name is Josh. I had a match.com date w/ a very beautiful girl ..at first she was shy but had some wine and she really opened up to me. she told me she is looking for a mature guy cause she went thru a party phase & dated a bunch of player-type losers and said shes over it. the date went really well and we really connected. After a few hrs she asked if i wanted to go to a club to meet her friends. I said sure and we went..at the club she had a few drinks and got real touchy feely with me but also kinda went off to mingle with her friends, so i let her. eventually she came back and put her arm around me and then told me all her friends really like me & she was happy. She also got extremely drunk..to the point where she couldnt walk straight Some dude who is a DJ & a friend of hers then dragged us to a club down the street and when we got there the 2 of them were talking at the bar & he couldnt keep his hands off her (along w/ every other guy). i was kinda left on my own. After 20 min she was ready to go home so she drove me to my car and kept saying how shes so glad im not a party animal & that im a mature great guy. SO...went in for the kiss and she shot me down. WTF happened? i was getting serious vibes, she said she liked so may things about me, etc...then got all weird when i tried to kiss her. maybe too shy? maybe too uncomfortable? self conscious about the fumes from the liquor store in her mouth? LOL Anyway i would appreciate some feedback. My good friend who is very successful w/ women feels that I should confront her & tell her that if she wants to hang out with me than this type of behavior is unacceptable ..lay down the law so to speak.
kdark Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 It sounds like she isn't done with her partying phase. If it were me I'd be out. She was touchy feely with you at the club, and when you go in for the kiss she denies you. She's either really confused about what she wants or she's playing mind games with you. Either one isn't good for you. And calling her out on it is just going to make you sound crazy in her mind. Cash in your chips and run.
troggleputty Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Josh, I agree. She's definitely a psycho; she obviously also has an alcohol problem and serious boundary issues. There's nothing to confront, she's a loser. Just forget about her and move on.
Author JoshRubin78 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 I was gonna call her out in such a way that I do not sound crazy, judgmental or rude..just pretty much give her a chance to redeem herself. It will be positioned so that she has to work to impress me if she thinks im that great of a guy and wants to see me again. Crazy would be constant calling, texting, emailing..why wont u call me back? blah blah...im not doing that...im showing her that regardless of what happens im not putting up with her s hit
troggleputty Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 I was gonna call her out in such a way that I do not sound crazy, judgmental or rude..just pretty much give her a chance to redeem herself. It will be positioned so that she has to work to impress me if she thinks im that great of a guy and wants to see me again. Crazy would be constant calling, texting, emailing..why wont u call me back? blah blah...im not doing that...im showing her that regardless of what happens im not putting up with her s hit Josh...you're missing the point here. This girl is seriously messed up. I mean on the face of things she's got a pretty serious alcohol problem, she can't control her behavior, she's messing with other guys while on a date with you, etc etc... ...she's just a complete waste of your time, don't feel like there's anything you need to prove, just completely cut contact. Obviously if you should ever run into her again be polite, but certainly, this is definitely not the kind of woman you want to be involved with. (I suspect she's enticing because she's physically hot and seems loose sexually to you and you feel that you're missing out on something. Whatever it is is definitely not worth the drama/abuse you would have to put up with.)
Author JoshRubin78 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 I'm just letting the little head take over she is extremely attractive and thats the draw here...nothing else other than she would look great on my arm. sorry for sounding so vain..I just want a beautiful girl in my life. I was really turned on by her last night...at the club she got close to me and i had my arm around her & it felt so nice
Author JoshRubin78 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 I wrote what i wanted to say to her in letter form..this is what i had: I need to be upfront with you about something and am going to be blunt...I enjoyed hanging out with you on Friday night and think you are a sweet and intelligent girl, however, I was a little disappointed with your behavior at the club. All night you kept talking about how you are looking for someone who is mature and responsible and how the club scene no longer appeals to you and then you go get wasted to the point where you could barely walk...on a first date! I must say that this does not appeal to me and made me seriously question whether or not everything you told me was even true. Believe me I am not trying to lecture, be rude or judgmental, but if you are interested in hanging out with me again this behavior will not be acceptable and I will need for you to act like the mature woman that you said you are. Again, not trying to put you on the defensive its just that I'm very forthcoming and don't play games. If this is going to be a problem and then I wish you the very best of luck and hope you find someone on Match who is better fit.
kdark Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 I wrote what i wanted to say to her in letter form..this is what i had: I need to be upfront with you about something and am going to be blunt...I enjoyed hanging out with you on Friday night and think you are a sweet and intelligent girl, however, I was a little disappointed with your behavior at the club. All night you kept talking about how you are looking for someone who is mature and responsible and how the club scene no longer appeals to you and then you go get wasted to the point where you could barely walk...on a first date! I must say that this does not appeal to me and made me seriously question whether or not everything you told me was even true. Believe me I am not trying to lecture, be rude or judgmental, but if you are interested in hanging out with me again this behavior will not be acceptable and I will need for you to act like the mature woman that you said you are. Again, not trying to put you on the defensive its just that I'm very forthcoming and don't play games. If this is going to be a problem and then I wish you the very best of luck and hope you find someone on Match who is better fit. No offense dude, but that sounds desperate as hell. Why would you even write that letter if you were so upset with how she handled the date? She's an attractive female, and if she's a good manipulator she's going to see this letter as another reason to play games with you, because after giving you the first date from hell, you are still in contact with her. Just drop her. No vagina is worth losing your dignity over.
Author JoshRubin78 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 you guys put things into perspective for me... I wont be contacting the dumb broad again
Engadget Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Something kind of similar happened to me, but I hadn't really been too interested in the girl beforehand. Mostly because I'm staying distant from getting involved after my breakup. The girl came to my apartment, we talked, we drove to a concert with friends and when we got there she was ALL over another guy I know. I saw it off the bat and backed off. I wasn't offended because she wasn't "with" me, and because it showed she really wouldn't be the type I was into. She even stayed at my apartment but on the couch and I kept my distance. As for your situation, yeah...if she goes on a date with you, gets hammered and lets other guys be all over her? She obviously doesn't have enough maturity or respect for you, it isn't a good sign.
D-Lish Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 at first she was shy but had some wine and she really opened up to me. she told me she is looking for a mature guy cause she went thru a party phase & dated a bunch of player-type losers and said shes over it So far so good. After a few hrs she asked if i wanted to go to a club to meet her friends. I said sure and we went..at the club she had a few drinks and got real touchy feely with me but also kinda went off to mingle with her friends, so i let her. eventually she came back and put her arm around me and then told me all her friends really like me & she was happy. She also got extremely drunk..to the point where she couldnt walk straight SO... what happened to being over the party phase? I would have been out the door somewhere in between her leaving you alone in a club to "mingle" and getting intoxicated to the point where she couldn't walk. Some dude who is a DJ & a friend of hers then dragged us to a club down the street and when we got there the 2 of them were talking at the bar & he couldnt keep his hands off her (along w/ every other guy). i was kinda left on my own. Okay, you really should have been gone by this point. After 20 min she was ready to go home so she drove me to my car and kept saying how shes so glad im not a party animal & that im a mature great guy. This story keeps getting worse- why did you get into the car with a girl that could barely walk because she was so loaded? SO...went in for the kiss and she shot me down. WTF happened? i was getting serious vibes, she said she liked so may things about me, etc...then got all weird when i tried to kiss her. maybe too shy? maybe too uncomfortable? self conscious about the fumes from the liquor store in her mouth? LOL Do you really think that the same girl that was getting felt up in a club by everyone but you is "shy"? My good friend who is very successful w/ women feels that I should confront her & tell her that if she wants to hang out with me than this type of behavior is unacceptable ..lay down the law so to speak. Confront her about what? You were the one that stuck around while she was treating you badly! Confront yourself and ask yourself why you stuck around the entire night when this girl was so disrespectful toward you. I would fully expect if I acted like this on a date that any self-respecting guy would take the hell off and never talk to me again. "Lay down the law"??? Seriously? Ditch her a&& and never speak to her again. Not only is she not interested, she doesn't give a crap. I'm sorry to be harsh, but I can't understand why you'd even want to talk to her again after the way she treated you.
Author JoshRubin78 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 You have a lot of spunk I know, I should ditched but woulda beat myself up if i didnt at least see it through and try to kiss her...stupid stupid I know. Im never contacting her again i promise..i just deleted her # Was I really that much of a sucker for staying? it was a learning experience..im a bit rusty since i havent dated in a while and am just now starting to put myself back out there, but now i know what to look for and wont tolerate this crap in the future
Rorschach Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 I'm probably way more rusty at dating than you, but yeah you definitely should've been out of there. I sympathize with the 'little head doing the thinking', but sometimes the big head just has to make an executive decision.
Author JoshRubin78 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 Thats funny and so true. I was kinda under her spell and lost my nerve for a bit
D-Lish Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 You have a lot of spunk I know, I should ditched but woulda beat myself up if i didnt at least see it through and try to kiss her...stupid stupid I know. Im never contacting her again i promise..i just deleted her # Was I really that much of a sucker for staying? it was a learning experience..im a bit rusty since i havent dated in a while and am just now starting to put myself back out there, but now i know what to look for and wont tolerate this crap in the future You're not a sucker for sticking around. I can actually understand why you might have gotten the impression that she was going to "give it up" to someone because of the way she was acting. You're only a sucker if you keep doing it over and over with the same girl, or all of them. Good, glad you deleted her. I wouldn't even respond to her if she tries to contact you. Agreeing to another date is tantamount to saying you were cool with the way she treated you the first time....And you shouldn't be cool with that. I may have come across angry in my post, and I was/am...Not at you though, more on your behalf. I think you have to look at it as- although she treated you badly, you stayed... It totally is a learning experience. The next time you are out with a hot girl that starts to develop bad habits and you find yourself confused about whether you should stay or ditch- picture me shouting in your ear "WTF are you doing???";)
Author JoshRubin78 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 and will do..I wont let it even get that far next time
Jerry18 Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Hello all. My name is Josh. I had a match.com date w/ a very beautiful girl ..at first she was shy but had some wine and she really opened up to me. she told me she is looking for a mature guy cause she went thru a party phase & dated a bunch of player-type losers and said shes over it. the date went really well and we really connected. After a few hrs she asked if i wanted to go to a club to meet her friends. I said sure and we went..at the club she had a few drinks and got real touchy feely with me but also kinda went off to mingle with her friends, so i let her. eventually she came back and put her arm around me and then told me all her friends really like me & she was happy. She also got extremely drunk..to the point where she couldnt walk straight Some dude who is a DJ & a friend of hers then dragged us to a club down the street and when we got there the 2 of them were talking at the bar & he couldnt keep his hands off her (along w/ every other guy). i was kinda left on my own. After 20 min she was ready to go home so she drove me to my car and kept saying how shes so glad im not a party animal & that im a mature great guy. SO...went in for the kiss and she shot me down. WTF happened? i was getting serious vibes, she said she liked so may things about me, etc...then got all weird when i tried to kiss her. maybe too shy? maybe too uncomfortable? self conscious about the fumes from the liquor store in her mouth? LOL Anyway i would appreciate some feedback. My good friend who is very successful w/ women feels that I should confront her & tell her that if she wants to hang out with me than this type of behavior is unacceptable ..lay down the law so to speak. Why were you such a pussy? It's your fault for letting men touch her. If it were me I would just take her home since she's terribly drunk anyway. If she wants to stay in the club, then I would've left her on the spot.
Author JoshRubin78 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 Its not my fault for anything..perhaps you are controlling and possessive & that might explain why you get involved with the type of women you do and are on this forum constantly
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