will_woman Posted January 17, 2004 Posted January 17, 2004 hi.....i am feeling very confused and disturbed. 4 months ago, my husband told me that he wanted a divorce because he found another girl. I have posted a thread before on the incident. He still insisted on signing the papers as he has approached a lawyer. Our relationship is over as he is adamant on getting the divorce done. I think I will be gripping my teeth to sign..... Sometimes, I feel good as I know the girl is not as good as he thinks so. He will hit reality soon. But sometimes, I just felt so lousy....recalling the hurtful stuff which he told me. Those "bad" sentences are just floating in my mind from time to time. I know after I have left, they are having fun together. I keep having such thoughts to my mind. I am trying hard to move myself on...most of time, I could ...but sometimes, I just felt so painful. Maybe, I am waiting for his lawyer letter for 2 weeks....it's not here yet...that is also getting on my nerves... Another point is I am out of job right now.....so my mind runs wild........have been searching for a job for past 3 months. Thought of posting thread onto LS so that my mind can rest better...... Any good suggestions for me so that I can cope it better?
Iamhappy Posted January 17, 2004 Posted January 17, 2004 I sent you a pm. So sorry I didn't get a chance to reply sooner. Waste no more time on that piece of sh*t you call your husband. (((((((HUGS)))))))))))
heartburn Posted January 20, 2004 Posted January 20, 2004 God, I can imagine what you are going through. Pray to God for strength and guidance. Seeing your husband with another woman hurtful. I been there, and it hurts like hell. When you marry, it was meant to last forever. Would he still be supporting you financially? At least until you get a job. That's the least he can do! What goes around, comes around. He might be having fun now, but wait, you will see how happy he will be a few months from now! The grass is not always greener on the other side.
NotaBadGuy Posted January 21, 2004 Posted January 21, 2004 I agree with Heartburn. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Sometimes it takes longer for some to realize than others, but eventually that lesson is always learned. And I am a true believer in what comes around goes around - only ten fold. I am in a similar situation as the original post. Divorce filed, just waiting on the waiting period to be final. She is with another man and has been for awhile. Just keep your head up and contunually pray for gudance and strength from the man upstairs. The pain and hurt seem unbearable now, but over time it will slowly subside. Sounds to me like your H is thinking about himself right now. As hard as it may be, sign the papers. You deserve to be with a man who will respect and cherish YOU, not himself. We all deserve at least that much. If he is with another girl, he did not take his vows seriously and does not respect you or the institution of marriage. Good luck. And remember to smile, it increases your face value - even in times of trouble.
Juls Posted January 21, 2004 Posted January 21, 2004 It is not easy loosing your loved one to another. All you can think about is the fun times that they will be having together, how they will perhaps make love with such passion as you never had. How could it be that the other person just go on and forget all about me when all I can do is think about him. Anyone that tells you to simply just move on does not really know what it is to loose the one thing we want to cling on to. But I tell you ... you are not alone. I am there, too, and it hurts so much that some times ending life seems easier than to cope with just another day.
RobertoPNW Posted January 21, 2004 Posted January 21, 2004 No, don't do anything drastic. Think about what you have to offer to the next person. Think about the love they will offer to you in return. Live for that day.
Author will_woman Posted January 22, 2004 Author Posted January 22, 2004 Thanks for all the advices... I will not do anything drastic as I still have to take care of my own parents. It's really unbelieveable to see someone I love so much to hurt me that deep. I really cannot believe it when he started to tell me about the divorce matter and their affairs. I was shattered into pieces. I am from Asia. Today is our 1st day of the lunar chinese new year. Last night, when I was having reunion dinner with my mother...the phone rang. I picked up (I kept quiet).....the other person at the end also kept quiet. I held the handset for about 2 mins and the person continue to keep still. I could hear background noise...seemed like in a restaurant. My intuition tells me it's my H. Immediately, I hung up the phone as I am very afraid to listen to anymore of his nonsense (he ever mentioned to me over the phone about they are still getting along well). I really cannot bring myself to hear all these...as my heart will break. Also, I did not want to spoil the on-going dinner mood. Now, I am still waiting for his lawyer letter as he told me he has engaged one 3 weeks ago. I am thinking to going to some spirtual classes in one week time.
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