melissa123 Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 My title says it all really ... I should be used to this now and be able to give my own indepth answer as it seems to be the story of my life! I am going through a strange phase of my life at the moment. After three relationships before I turned 21 in which I was all dumped from I have been single for a while. I have been going through this phase since where I seemed to attract at lot of absolute creeps. Finally the other night I met someone who I really liked and someone who was a real genuine nice guy, but he never contacted me again The whole thing is getting me really down. Everyone I know has a partner and are all starting to get married and settle down etc and all I deal with is rejection after rejection. The guy I met the other night was a significant blow as I made every effort to dress up nice and be as happy and nice as I could, yet he still rejected me! So my main question is (sorry I got a bit off track) how do I deal with rejection? Especially in regards to this new man I was rejected from. We are facebook friends and I cant help but look at his profile every two seconds and get all upset. Should I just keep my distance and go 'NC'? Or ask him why he never contacted me? am getting tired of this ..
TouchedByViolet Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 melissa I am nearly in the same exact situation, however I am a guy. Dealing with rejection is extremely difficult. The best way to deal with rejection IMO is to maintain a state of self improvement which will make you feel better until you find someone for yourself. Additionally, I have always found it strange when women say they keep getting rejected. Lets go down the common reasons why a guy may not be interested in a girl in her 20s... 1 - Looks. Do you take care of yourself? Are you overweight? 2 - Do you have some heavy baggage, like a kid? 3 - Do you have interests/hobbies for yourself?
MrNate Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 My title says it all really ... I should be used to this now and be able to give my own indepth answer as it seems to be the story of my life! I am going through a strange phase of my life at the moment. After three relationships before I turned 21 in which I was all dumped from I have been single for a while. I have been going through this phase since where I seemed to attract at lot of absolute creeps. Finally the other night I met someone who I really liked and someone who was a real genuine nice guy, but he never contacted me again The whole thing is getting me really down. Everyone I know has a partner and are all starting to get married and settle down etc and all I deal with is rejection after rejection. The guy I met the other night was a significant blow as I made every effort to dress up nice and be as happy and nice as I could, yet he still rejected me! So my main question is (sorry I got a bit off track) how do I deal with rejection? Especially in regards to this new man I was rejected from. We are facebook friends and I cant help but look at his profile every two seconds and get all upset. Should I just keep my distance and go 'NC'? Or ask him why he never contacted me? am getting tired of this .. Hm, well it sounds like you're not getting constantly 'rejected' per se, more like just dumped. Am i reading that incorrectly? From what I've read, (if I read it correctly), you've actually been rejected once. I think it's awesome that you have the emotional fortitude to go after what you want, but remember, everyone's not going to like you. As much as that sucks. This is a very important lesson for guys to learn especially, since they will deal with this much more than a woman ever will. And heck, everyone in general, because everything won't go your way, but that doesn't mean give up! So I would say just move on. You're still young, and you got many years ahead of you. You will find an awesome dude. Keep your head up!
Author melissa123 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 Thanks so much for your replies!! In answer to your three questions (Im guna try and be truthful as I want honest answers so please don't think I am being arrogant as im the exact opposite in life!) 1 - Looks. Do you take care of yourself? Are you overweight? 2 - Do you have some heavy baggage, like a kid? 3 - Do you have interests/hobbies for yourself? 1. I Def try very hard to look nice! Im not one of those born beautiful people but I do try very hard to work with what I have got! My biggest downfall was an absolutly awful nose but I recently got that fixed so hopefully im making improvements there! Im not overweight (I represent my country at sports) but I dont have a overly desireable body like some girls. 2. No baggage at all, no kids, nothing 3. Yes I do have hobbies and Interests but I almost kind of feel like this is my downfall. Ive just finished a science degree and I get up every morning at 4am (insane i know) to train. Alot of guys ask me about my training and what I do etc and it almost seems to me like it turns them off. To be honest this guy who rejected me was asking me all about it and I actually felt embarrased telling him I get up at 4am to train every morning. He didnt even look the slightest bit impressed. He also asked me a bit about my degree and again he just looked dis intereseted. So I was kind of wondering is it a turn off for a female to strive for things and work hard? I train insanly hard as I really wanna make a future out of my sport but It seems to turn people away. Almost to the point where I get embarrased talking about it now. I kind of feel that if I had a normal life, got up at normal hours and just did normal things that others do (like go shopping and drinking everyday) then I would have more chance with guys. Any thoughts on this?
Author melissa123 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 And thankyou MrNate for your response I have been rejected heeeeaps, I just didnt want to go into massive detail and bore you all to tears! I understand that not everyone will like me no matter what but it seems at the moment I attract these real creeps (like crazy stalkers) and normal guys just aren't interested! It actually gets me really down. I dont know what is so wrong with me
TouchedByViolet Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 So I was kind of wondering is it a turn off for a female to strive for things and work hard? I train insanly hard as I really wanna make a future out of my sport but It seems to turn people away. Almost to the point where I get embarrased talking about it now. I kind of feel that if I had a normal life, got up at normal hours and just did normal things that others do (like go shopping and drinking everyday) then I would have more chance with guys. Any thoughts on this? Most guys find women with drives and goals attractive. 4am training does sound hardcore, are you a MMA fighter? You shouldn't be embarrassed about any part of your life that you enjoy.
Author melissa123 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 Thanks It just seems to turn people off Those with more 'normal' lifes seem to have way better luck than I do!
MrNate Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 And thankyou MrNate for your response I have been rejected heeeeaps, I just didnt want to go into massive detail and bore you all to tears! I understand that not everyone will like me no matter what but it seems at the moment I attract these real creeps (like crazy stalkers) and normal guys just aren't interested! It actually gets me really down. I dont know what is so wrong with me All women attract creeps though. Show me one who doesn't ha I like how you say you don't know what's wrong with YOU, instead of getting bitter towards men. This shows your head is in the right place, and you're not blaming men in general. This makes me happy. Now check this out. I think there's some light in the fact that normal guys ask about what you do. I would say, go out on a limb here! When they ask you about what you do, make it sound interesting/awesome. After all, interesting girls are hot. What kind of training is this exactly? It's mighty early, 4am, so I'm honestly curious, lol
bac Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Actually, guys have good intuition about chemistry. If they reject girls, it is typically for the girls' best. I am a female and I was rejected by guys who I saw as desirable. I thought that the guys were just fools who did not understand how great our connection could be if we gave it a try. I know a few tricks how to avoid rejection from most guys. So, when I used those tricks on the guys, they did not rejected me. But, when we gave it a try, it turned out that I did not want those guys after a few more dates. The point is that the guys who rejected me were right and I totally did not like them when I got to know them better.
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