kombucha22 Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 So my ex and I have been NC for 6 days now. We ended things on a good note even though I'm having a somewhat difficult time with the break up (i have good days and bad) my ex is running in a race in about a week. I don't plan to contact him right now but next week I want to text him and wish him good luck with the race. Do you all think I should or shouldn't contact him to tell him good luck? Reason why we broke up he cheated on me more than once.....
Odyssey Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 OP, i'm a little confused. what is this? ...are you two like friends now?
ADF Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 NC means NC forever. Period. If you wish this serial cheater luck, he'll say to himself, "Ha! She still wants me." Do you really want to send him that message?
Author kombucha22 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 No I wouldn't call us friends? Maybe to him we are but to me not so much but, I would never admit that to him or show him how angry about how things went b/w us. I did express that when we initially broke up but after our initial break up we would go running together and text almost everyday. I guess i'm trying to show that he never got the best of me? even though he kind of did... He would send me a text every day saying something and I would respond and that would be it. We weren't fighting or anything just random texting i'm guessing most likely out of habit. He is always the one to text first but i would always reply calmly and in a "friend" type of way. But now it's been 6 days and haven't heard from him. Which is where i get my 6 days NC. It's just weird not hearing from him and kind of shows that he's moved on...so I wasn't sure if i should send him a text saying good luck with his race? Or maybe i'm over thinking this and just yearn for his attention...i dont know? i def. don't want to be in a relationship with him but i did like the attention that I got from him even though he cheated....weird?
This Hurts Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 No I wouldn't call us friends? Maybe to him we are but to me not so much but, I would never admit that to him or show him how angry about how things went b/w us. I did express that when we initially broke up but after our initial break up we would go running together and text almost everyday. I guess i'm trying to show that he never got the best of me? even though he kind of did... He would send me a text every day saying something and I would respond and that would be it. We weren't fighting or anything just random texting i'm guessing most likely out of habit. He is always the one to text first but i would always reply calmly and in a "friend" type of way. But now it's been 6 days and haven't heard from him. Which is where i get my 6 days NC. It's just weird not hearing from him and kind of shows that he's moved on...so I wasn't sure if i should send him a text saying good luck with his race? Or maybe i'm over thinking this and just yearn for his attention...i dont know? i def. don't want to be in a relationship with him but i did like the attention that I got from him even though he cheated....weird? I believe you got it all right, actually I think you want his attention, which he's been giving you at least a little bit of, and now he's not and it's confusing you. If I were you, I would just go NC and stop texting each other randomly and casually. You're basically telling him, "I'm completely fine with this breakup and being just friends." I don't know about you, but most of us don't want to be seen as "friends" by our exes; mostly because it hurts. We don't want to be friends, we want their love and affection, and they can't offer that to us and it hurts. If you keep talking to him randomly and casually, it'll get to the point where he texts you telling you he's excited about a date he's going to or a girl he's interested in, which you might not be ready for. We don't all recover in the same way or at the same pace, so he might move on and you might not be moved on, and it'll end up hurting you more. As for direct advice, I would say don't wish him good luck on his race, and start NC for good. You're never going to move on if you're waiting for him to text you. NC is YOU deciding you don't want to talk to him anymore, not waiting for him to text you. You're supposed to be diminishing as much hope as possible to be able to let it go and find something new and better. Go NC, give yourself time to heal and move on, and then when you have no more feelings for him whatsoever, you can be friends and text each other good luck on races all you want But until then, focus on yourself.
Author kombucha22 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 I believe you got it all right, actually I think you want his attention, which he's been giving you at least a little bit of, and now he's not and it's confusing you. If I were you, I would just go NC and stop texting each other randomly and casually. You're basically telling him, "I'm completely fine with this breakup and being just friends." I don't know about you, but most of us don't want to be seen as "friends" by our exes; mostly because it hurts. We don't want to be friends, we want their love and affection, and they can't offer that to us and it hurts. If you keep talking to him randomly and casually, it'll get to the point where he texts you telling you he's excited about a date he's going to or a girl he's interested in, which you might not be ready for. We don't all recover in the same way or at the same pace, so he might move on and you might not be moved on, and it'll end up hurting you more. As for direct advice, I would say don't wish him good luck on his race, and start NC for good. You're never going to move on if you're waiting for him to text you. NC is YOU deciding you don't want to talk to him anymore, not waiting for him to text you. You're supposed to be diminishing as much hope as possible to be able to let it go and find something new and better. Go NC, give yourself time to heal and move on, and then when you have no more feelings for him whatsoever, you can be friends and text each other good luck on races all you want But until then, focus on yourself. Thankkk youu all for the great advice!!! i won't contact him. u are all right if i'm questioning it anyway i guess its best to just let it go...
This Hurts Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Thankkk youu all for the great advice!!! i won't contact him. u are all right if i'm questioning it anyway i guess its best to just let it go... No problem! I was actually going through this just a few days ago. We broke up but I still texted her goodnight almost every night. Eventually, I stopped but whenever she would text me briefly sometime during the day, I would text her "Goodnight and sweet dreams" that night thinking it would just be nice and proper of me to do so. I realized a few days ago I'm probably just holding on to hope, trying to be the good, gentlemen boyfriend I was before, so I stopped. And it actually feels a lot better, because I don't think she appreciated any of that anyways. Ungrateful b*tch; she's always been like that. I hate her for it. Honestly, looking back at these past 3.5+ years, I have NEVER heard a solid, sincere "Thank you" from her. I've helped her with everything: I've pushed her to get a psychiatrist, get medication, do good in school, treat others with respect. I even taught her table manners. It was like having a kid! The only times she said thank you was when I asked her to... how immature. She needs to grow the **** up. Okay, rant over. I got carried away.
Author kombucha22 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 No problem! I was actually going through this just a few days ago. We broke up but I still texted her goodnight almost every night. Eventually, I stopped but whenever she would text me briefly sometime during the day, I would text her "Goodnight and sweet dreams" that night thinking it would just be nice and proper of me to do so. I realized a few days ago I'm probably just holding on to hope, trying to be the good, gentlemen boyfriend I was before, so I stopped. And it actually feels a lot better, because I don't think she appreciated any of that anyways. Ungrateful b*tch; she's always been like that. I hate her for it. Honestly, looking back at these past 3.5+ years, I have NEVER heard a solid, sincere "Thank you" from her. I've helped her with everything: I've pushed her to get a psychiatrist, get medication, do good in school, treat others with respect. I even taught her table manners. It was like having a kid! The only times she said thank you was when I asked her to... how immature. She needs to grow the **** up. Okay, rant over. I got carried away. Ummm woops. My ex just text me saying "Hayden got 3rd." and I text him back saying "ok..." than he text me saying "Hayden got 4th Rossi won." This is all pertains to when we used to watch MotoGP(motorcycle racing) together. The season just started again. It's been 7 days since we haven't talked and that's what he texts me. After his last text "Hayden got 4th Rossi won" I text him saying "thats good. hi to you 2" than I didn't hear from him. So i text him cause he pis*es me off saying "don't text me anymore were not friends so stop" And so I put his # on block so now he can't. He makes me so angry he's probably watching the race with his new g/f anyway grrrrrr i hate him so much.... What do you all think about his?? He cheated on me throughout the relationship i try to be nice but my anger just slips and gets the best of me. He's just wasnt a good person to me while in the relationship...
Fouts Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 He makes me so angry he's probably watching the race with his new g/f anyway grrrrrr i hate him so much.... What do you all think about his?? He cheated on me throughout the relationship i try to be nice but my anger just slips and gets the best of me. He's just wasnt a good person to me while in the relationship... And he's probably going to have wild, passionate sex with her tonight after they're done partying with their race friends too, what does that matter? It's up to you to move on, not him.
Recommended Posts