doomage Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 I'm asking because I'm really gullable I try to find the best in everybody, so I don't call a spade a spade so to speak. The girl i was dating (no longer anymore because she just suddenly lost interest in me), well whwen we were dating we started talking about sex, and all in the same day she confessed to having genital herpes, and i asked how many guys she had slept with and she said 10. I thought that was kind of alot to take in, but i respected her for telling me the truth about the herpes, I didn't even bring that up, but she stood out to me because of that confession. Regardless i stuck around and we had sex one time, mayb it was the sex that turned her off from me lol. A week before we had sex though we were talking about our sexual experiences and she told me she slept with a shift leader at her old store(she works at a starbucks like place) in the backroom when they were closing the store one night. I thought that was kind of slutty but who am i to judge. I'm kind of wishy washy with it and the fact that she slept with 10 guys now maby 11 because of me. I feel sorry for her though cuz of the herpes thing. But i have trouble distinguishing girls who are relationship material and hit it and quit it material, because after one time of sex she didn't wanna date me anymore and said she didn't want a serious relationship which is what I thought she wanted. What do you guys think?
mendsley Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Hmmmmm, this is tough! The first thing that comes to mind is run and don't look back. If it's over then who cares anyways, you didn't have sex and don't have to worry about it. But, if you are conteplating getting back with her make a wise choice and educate your self on the safety of herpes! Look into why she has been with so many guys, she might be a manipulator looking for a free ride. People these days rush into sex before knowing anything about the other person, thank god you didn't, maybe it's a good sign
sagetalk Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 you didn't have sex and don't have to worry about it. Re-read the post, I think he did have sex with her. To the original poster, I know everyone makes mistakes, but in the future try to keep your mistakes smaller. The more guys a girls been with, the more trouble you could be stepping into. So few girls are actually able to let ex's go, and if she has 10, the odds are good of them popping up from time to time. Yuck .
troggleputty Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 I'm asking because I'm really gullable I try to find the best in everybody, so I don't call a spade a spade so to speak. The girl i was dating (no longer anymore because she just suddenly lost interest in me), well whwen we were dating we started talking about sex, and all in the same day she confessed to having genital herpes, and i asked how many guys she had slept with and she said 10. I thought that was kind of alot to take in, but i respected her for telling me the truth about the herpes, I didn't even bring that up, but she stood out to me because of that confession. Regardless i stuck around and we had sex one time, mayb it was the sex that turned her off from me lol. A week before we had sex though we were talking about our sexual experiences and she told me she slept with a shift leader at her old store(she works at a starbucks like place) in the backroom when they were closing the store one night. I thought that was kind of slutty but who am i to judge. I'm kind of wishy washy with it and the fact that she slept with 10 guys now maby 11 because of me. I feel sorry for her though cuz of the herpes thing. But i have trouble distinguishing girls who are relationship material and hit it and quit it material, because after one time of sex she didn't wanna date me anymore and said she didn't want a serious relationship which is what I thought she wanted. What do you guys think? Women sometimes understate their amount of sexual partners if they feel it makes them look too slutty. So it's probably more than 10 anyway. But another question comes to mind: Why did you have any interest in having sex with her after finding out about the herpes? Shouldn't you at least have waited six months and gotten her to take a blood test or something to find out if she had anything else, like Hep C, before agreeing to have sex with her?
Engadget Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 I couldn't have sex with a girl who had herpes or any STD, ick.
troggleputty Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 I couldn't have sex with a girl who had herpes or any STD, ick. Well to tell the truth that was my first thought too; however I wanted to be a little more diplomatic about expressing it, as given this is LS, there's probably a significant population of disease-ridden whorish skanks who might take offense at the notion that a man might feel revulsion at the idea of bumping uglies with one of their sisters.
Author doomage Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 I don't know why but i stuck around because i guess i thought this was gonna be my first official girlfriend, but were' not talking at all really now and aren't on that dating level anymore, but i seem to overlook alot of things and I wonder if it's a lack of self esteem thing or what, but when she first told me she had herpes it took me back, but like ten minutes later i was ok with it and said "well theres nothing you can do now and it was in the past so let's see what happens" and we only boned once, with a condom, but still it was a stupid move.
troggleputty Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 I don't know why but i stuck around because i guess i thought this was gonna be my first official girlfriend, but were' not talking at all really now and aren't on that dating level anymore, but i seem to overlook alot of things and I wonder if it's a lack of self esteem thing or what, but when she first told me she had herpes it took me back, but like ten minutes later i was ok with it and said "well theres nothing you can do now and it was in the past so let's see what happens" and we only boned once, with a condom, but still it was a stupid move. Yes, sounds like you might need to focus on building up your own feeling of self-worth before going girlfriend-hunting. Not to say you shouldn't ever never have sex with a woman who has herpes but I would like to think she's bringing a lot more to the table relationship-wise before getting involved with her.
Jersey Shortie Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 But i have trouble distinguishing girls who are relationship material and hit it and quit it material, because after one time of sex she didn't wanna date me anymore and said she didn't want a serious relationship which is what I thought she wanted. What do you guys think? I think you're a hypocrite if your holding this girl up to the standard of having too many sexual partners while you talk of her in terms of "relationship matieral" or "hit it and quit it material".
Rorschach Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 I think you're a hypocrite if your holding this girl up to the standard of having too many sexual partners while you talk of her in terms of "relationship matieral" or "hit it and quit it material". I agree. Its completely unfair but guys are generally viewed in a better light after one night stands while women are generally viewed as worse. Lets buck the trend and just admit 'player' is just another name for slut.
Rhythmic Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 I don't know why but i stuck around because i guess i thought this was gonna be my first official girlfriend, but were' not talking at all really now and aren't on that dating level anymore, but i seem to overlook alot of things and I wonder if it's a lack of self esteem thing or what, but when she first told me she had herpes it took me back, but like ten minutes later i was ok with it and said "well theres nothing you can do now and it was in the past so let's see what happens" and we only boned once, with a condom, but still it was a stupid move. It was a good move. If you were hoping this was to be your first official girlfriend I take it you aren't all that experienced in the sack? She probably lost interest after the sex because you weren't good enough at it for her. Better she left you now to go find some players who have racked up upper double digit sex partners to satisfy her. Which is why she probably has herpes to begin with. You dodged a bullet and you should be happy for it. so, in a month go get tested for herpes since you were crazy/stupid enough to still sleep with her.
sally4sara Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 If your sexual history is the way it is because of a set of values you adhere to, it would make sense that you would have problems comfortably dating someone who has a different kind of sexual history due to what you consider poor decision making. Like if a guy feels he must love someone before sleeping with them, he might not want to date someone who only needs to find people physically attractive to sleep with them. But people learn new ways of living over time. One could examine the choices they've made in the past and decide it isn't working for them. They decide to live differently. Worrying about a person's past should take into consideration how old that past behavior is. With STDs though, and herpes in general, there is no cure. Only costly treatment that cannot reliably prevent contracting it if you stay with them. I guess you'd have to ask yourself if you would be okay with having that kind of STD forever too to if it meant keeping them, and still recognizing it doesn't guarantee the relationship will be a lasting one. That is a lot to have to accept even if the person who has the STD is pretty cool person. Condoms don't do much against topical STDs like herpes or warts. Now if someone is fine with sleeping their own around, but can't deal with a partner who has done the same, it is still their right to choose who they want to date - but who would want to date a hypocritical wanker like that?
MrNate Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 I'm asking because I'm really gullable I try to find the best in everybody, so I don't call a spade a spade so to speak. The girl i was dating (no longer anymore because she just suddenly lost interest in me), well whwen we were dating we started talking about sex, and all in the same day she confessed to having genital herpes, and i asked how many guys she had slept with and she said 10. I thought that was kind of alot to take in, but i respected her for telling me the truth about the herpes, I didn't even bring that up, but she stood out to me because of that confession. Regardless i stuck around and we had sex one time, mayb it was the sex that turned her off from me lol. A week before we had sex though we were talking about our sexual experiences and she told me she slept with a shift leader at her old store(she works at a starbucks like place) in the backroom when they were closing the store one night. I thought that was kind of slutty but who am i to judge. I'm kind of wishy washy with it and the fact that she slept with 10 guys now maby 11 because of me. I feel sorry for her though cuz of the herpes thing. But i have trouble distinguishing girls who are relationship material and hit it and quit it material, because after one time of sex she didn't wanna date me anymore and said she didn't want a serious relationship which is what I thought she wanted. What do you guys think? She could be doing you a favor. I mean, look at it this way. She has herpes, that's a BIG deal. Maybe's she's leaving you because of guilt? I don't know, since she decided to break things off. And from what you written, I say this is the perfect time to separate and walk away. It seems like that's what both of you are thinking anyway, right? And hopefully you don't have anything. Your health takes priority over EVERYTHING.
PhillySpecial Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Well statistics indicate that about 20% of the population has genital herpes, which is really scary! That's 1 in 5... an enormous number. I personally wouldn't date someone who had it but I'm very picky anyway. But let's face it, if she had wanted to stay with you then you'd still be with her today. Therefore, the herpes isn't really the issue is it?
Author doomage Posted April 12, 2010 Author Posted April 12, 2010 but ya i did use a condom, we only had sex once, I'm just really confused at what happened, I mean i probably scared her off by being too affectionette and wanting to spend time with her most of the time, i've only been with four girls well five including her but i think i try to finish as quicik as possible because i feel like the girl will get bored if i last as long as i would really want to. I need to work on it i guess but it's funny because if i wouldn't have brought up why she was acting wierd i would have been oblivious that we were'nt dating anymore. After she told me she would still wanna be friends i said i didn't wanna be buddy buddy with her but yet i'm still trying to hang with her but she's giving me the run around. On friday i saw her eating lunch outside and i went to go talk to her, and she said she got hired at a new job and was gonna quit the job she was at now which is next to my job, (i was on lunch too) and i said we should see a movie on saturday, she gave me a weak excuse saying she doesn't know because she doesnt know if she's gonna work on saturday, so saturday comes and i don't call her until 7 at night and were talking and she told me she actually quit her job that day since her new job wants her to start already, so i won't see her there anymore, and said she was going to dinner with her family so i said "oh so i guess were not hanging ou anymore?" and she said no, an i said "how bout sunday" and she said " oh i cant because i gotta go to my dads friends house to get some music and get my work clothes. obvious blow off because it doesn't take all day to do that, and at the end of the conversation she said "so ya,well I'll call you...whenever..." and i said ok bye. and that was that, don't know if ill hear from her but maybe it's for the best seeing as how i'm making most of the effort to still be cool.
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