Marina09 Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 Hey guys! Sorry if this is too long, but I really need support right now. My ex and I broke up January 2009 because he didn't feel ready for a serious relationship and he wanted to try and explore new things. Since then, he had a girlfriend for about 4 months, which broke my heart, but I continued NC for many months until he finally broke it in October when he decided to re-add me to facebook. But at that time I felt pretty much over him, when I saw the friend request I felt something but I didn't think it was love. I accepted him and like 2 or 3 weeks later we chatted for the first time. I was shaking like a scared dog, my whole body was shaking for having contact with him again. He just said it was a long time since he didn't hear about me, etc. Just catching up. At that time I was going out with a guy. After I talked to him for the first time I felt good, weird good, no regrets, no anything. Then I continued my relationship with the other guy, and in Christmas he sent me a text wishing me the best and then he started texting me once a week. I didn't know what to do since I was with the other guy, but the texts where just simples how are you? and stuff like that, so I texted him back. But in the process all my feelings and expectations started to rise once again. I decided to cut things with the guy, and I went out with my ex after a whole year of not seeing him. When I saw him I knew right there I still loved him... He was asking to see for a long time but I couldn't so when I had the chance I said yes and that's how it happened. We talked about everything but with no regrets, I was playing cool. Then he dissapeared for a couple of weeks, and then he texted me again to go out. We went out again but this time it was different. He was closer to me, he mentioned the past many times and he seemed to look at me like in the past. Then again we went out and we kissed. This kiss was so magical that I cried. I felt it was love love love. Then we couldn't meet up because I was very busy so we decided to meet on St. Patrick's Day, but when around 10pm he told me he couldn't make it. I was so mad and sad. I cried my eyes out, I was very dissapointed. Next day he begs to go out with me I refuse expecting him to explain something to me, but nothing. Next day again, he wants to go out, I was so mad I told him all I hated him for. He told me we should talk about that in person but I didn't want, he explained some things I didn't know and then we kept on talking. We got together a week later to talk about the things I told him and he explained all of them to me, including having a girlfriend after 2 months of our breakup and being serious with her, no kisses or anything. Then a week later we went out and we kissed again. However this time things got a littler farther, we actually had sex. I had time to think if I wanted or not but I thought I was strong enough to do this and then pretend nothing happened. He was very loving and said a lot of nice things to me. However he never mentioned being back together or the word love. That weekend he was very close to me and I felt like we were on the right track. I was willing to forgive him for everything that happened and I was ready to move on on that and be back with him. I can't describe how nice he was that weekend, and that's why I thought this was it, the new beginning I had been waiting for. However this week he has made little to no contact with me and I feel like crap. Yesterday he didn't call me to go out or to know how I'm doing. May be he got scared of how things were turning out, or he realized he will never love me, or that he's hurting me, I don't know. But it hurts so much to have thought we were kind of working things out and then again being so heart broken. Do you think he's just taking time to think things over or may be he never thought we were working on this and he just wanted to see me with no compromise? I know I should move on and forget about him because if he did it once or twice he will do it again. But it's so hard because I still love him with all my heart, and although I know it will be hard to work things out I was willing to do it because I love him and I wanted to think he had changed. BUT HE HASN'T . Please help me by giving me advice on how to handle this and what to do when he comes back, cause I know he will eventually come back. HELP HELP HELP!!!!! PS: We were together for 2 years, and we broke up 1 year and 3 months ago, which sucks cause I still love him...
skydiveaddict Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 If I were you, I would call or try to meet with him and tell him exactly how you feel. Ask him if he feels the same way. If he says no, or wont give you an answer, then tell him to stay out of your life. And DONT contact him. If he really cares for you, he will tell you.
win Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Hi Marina, if i were you..I am going to call him..meet up and have eyes to eyes conversation. By this way, you have the chance to make sure everything is clear. so, you won't regret in future. Good Luck!
CLC2008 Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Why would you guys tell her that ^^^ After this: My ex and I broke up January 2009 because he didn't feel ready for a serious relationship and he wanted to try and explore new things. and this: Since then, he had a girlfriend for about 4 months, which broke my heart
skydiveaddict Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Wait, clc, brought up a good point. Is the other girlfriend still in the picture? If she is than I would not speak to him anymore
Author Marina09 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Posted April 11, 2010 She's not in the picture anymore, he left her for the same reasons that he left me. However they were together seriuosly for 4 months until he remembered he didn't want anything seriuos. I know I shouldn't talk to him but it is so HARD! Yesterday he texted me and it took all my power not to reply back. He wanted to go out, I guess he was bored...
TooMuchPride Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 hmm it is very difficult trying to make sense of a guy after a break up , im going through the same thing , if you are still in contact they tend to send alot of mixed signals...some guys need an ego boost and like to know that their ex still loves them and they could have them if they wanted too and some genuinly miss their ex it is all about seeing which is which , your situation seemed like..well 1 year of no contact and a relationship in between , him coming back isnt going to be he missed you , unfortunate this could be some sort of rebound ego boost this probably not what you want to hear but it seems so especially since he hasnt called since...or maybe he remembered reasons you guys ended OR he "remembered" he didnt want anyhting serious, either way , give it another day and then call him , don't act rude or ask to go out simply a "hey whats up" dont keep it too long.
Author Marina09 Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 Hey TooMuchPride! Thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it. After reading what you think I believe I am kind of his ego boost. He called me saturday in the afternoon but I was having fun with friends so I just ignored him. He texted me yesterday to go to the movies but I told him I was busy. I do love him very much but I can't be with someone that doesn't love me. I can't try to fix things that are only fixable for me. He has never metioned that we should be back together now. He did mention once that eventually he would like to try again but he didn't say it was now. I feel like he wants to keep me there for him so when he's ready to go serious he can have me available, but I don't think he's gonna stop dating other girls. I need to move on with my life, and I've given a lot of thought to this and if we are really meant for each other I guess life will bring us together no matter what. Or may be when he sees that I don't wanna see him anymore he'll finally know if he loves me or not. I don't know, I guess I should go back to NC but I don't wanna seem like I care about him, and asking him to go NC will make him think that I still love him, and I don't wanna show him that...
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