reconciliation chance eventually or not

[Killashandra]

Ok Lordy it's a complicated long story.

9 years ago suffering severe terrible (think murder Ex and suiciding me) post natal depression I left. After 8 months we reconciled and have been together since.

 

5 weeks ago he decided to leave me. We now have 5 children. He then moved on with another woman VERY quickly. No there wasn't an affair before hand but he left me to be with her which is kinda good because at least he was still honest.

 

He hasn't left the house yet but is looking for a house with OW altho the other day he admitted he thinks he is being too fussy for a reason.

I had been limiting contact as much as possible in very difficult circumstances of trying to remain civil for our children and dealing with finances and the rest of it.

 

A few days we sat down and talked, really talked and many problems came to light and hpw we let ourselves drift apart. He then lied to OW and stayed the next night and we kept talking about what we would do differently.

 

Because I have been in his position I know he will leave but I also know that it doens't have to be over yet. And he agrees but thinks the time apart will give us time. We know that we may move on in that time (I have been going out already) but now he is being more attentive.

 

He isn't rushing out quite as fast to be with OW (who is also leaving her hubby) and when the kids say we should do things in future he agrees that we should. We went out to tea at Maccas and altho he chatted briefly to OW he was focused with us.

 

He isn't as quick to call her back but when he does he tells her he loves her.

The thing is he is being overtly affectionate in front of the girls (he uses the excuse that it is good for the girls to see us getting on but he is kissing me goodbye and hugging me, holding my hand (I have been trying to curb this for the girls sake). Now I have instructed the older girls not to say anything toOW about it but the youngers well if they say then he will have to explain.

 

When we talk part of him is chatting about the future he is going to have with OW while he also talks about the future we have when we reconcile. And yes he is suffering depression.

 

very confusing. I love this man deeply and our dreams always matched we just lost our way with each other.

 

Last night I cried while he was alseep but he woke and saw me. Blame it on hormones but I just stated (not begged) that I didn't want him to go and he told me he thought 6 months apart would do us the world of good and help us sort it out.

So is he stringing me or is he as confused as I am? He tells me he loves her big but loves me huge. I don't know.

I do know that he was not thrilled when I went out on my date tonight and he was very slow leaving the house to go to her tonight.

So tell me what you think

[Killashandra]

Well even though no one answered my plea. I thought I would update for those who wish for hope.

Things suddenly changed over the weekend from the Friday I posted here. Don't know exactly what it was but it was a change I welcomed. We were actually discussing the business we have. Somewhere along the way it changed and we started talking, really talking.

we talked about our relationship and what had gone wrong and I learnt words I had taken for granted that he understood what I meant I had called him my partner and he thought it was a bad thing. he wanted to be called fiance (we were engaged) and had seen the word "partner" as a step down. I explained to him for me it was a step up as he was more to me then that.

So much talk. So much emotion, in the end he held me and promised me a second visit.

He came back the following night to talk.

And we have been talking since.

He is also coming back to me. He has realised how much i love him something he didn't know before, or doubted, he doesn't anymore.

We have learnt alot in the past few weeks and have a lot more to get through for this to work fully but he is wanting to and I am happy.

So for those who are upset and wanting their loved one back sometimes talking and showing your emotions does work after a period of quiet. We had to have contact as we have children and a business but if the moment is right do not be aafraid to give it a go.