mendsley Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 I have been struggling the last couple of weeks trying to move on and my mind is fighting back. I have been seperated from a unfaithful woman for about 1.5 months and she can move on with no problem, but for some reason I cannot seem to get over her. During this split I have found out a lot about me, how to be a better person, father, husband and have grown up a lot. I have been trying to let her see this and all she wants is to be "friends", but to me that is not good enough. I just found out about a week ago that during the last 1.5 years of being apart she has been pretty busy. She has been sleeping with about 6 guys, one of them fresh out of jail and the current is a 22 year old Marine, she is 37! First thing that comes to my mind is I hope she falls madly in love with this Marine and he ***ing cheats on her so she can feel the pain I am enduring. I know that is wrong, but it is what it is! I am completely devistated by this, while we were married we had sex about 5 - 6 times a year, but after she leaves she can't seem to get enough. I am slowly recognizing that these problems I struggle with are not her, they are within me and I am allowing this to happen, but I don't know how to stop it! We have a child together and she has been focusing her time on going to the bars and clubs rather than quality time with our 9 year old son. That hurts me very much! He has already expressed that he wants to live with me, but she will not allow it. I am not too sure of the reason other than she is worried I will stop paying child support. I do feel like if he lives with me that I should not have to pay, but if I don't pay she will lose her transportation. I am concerned with that, but don't know if I should be? I know this is all a ramble, but I am very upset today and have no one in my life to talk with so I figured this is the best thing for me to do. What kicked off the anger today is my son is visiting for spring break and she has been staying at her new boyfriends house and it is eating me alive. I cannot seem to get the images of what they are doing out of my mind. I know this is all minipulation on her part, but I still feel like they are doing what we did when we first got together. I am really getting tired of falling apart when I hear about her, I try to feel the pain of grief, but it is not helping. I just want to find something that will help subside the pain and allow me to move foward with my life. Thanks for listening- Mike
kombucha22 Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Glad you wrote. Dealing with a cheating ex is difficult. I'm going through the same thing but I'm not married nor do I have children with my ex. It's painful either way tho that the other person is sort of "moving on" and were stuck inside trying to get over it while all along they were over it awhile ago. I found the gym to be an amazing out let for that anxiety feeling and loss of control. You just got to run it out. Try to better yourself in a more healthy way and your mind will follow! Tonight sucks cause all I can think about is my ex with some new chic. and me i'm here sitting on the couch watching TV b/c i have no one to go out with to meet new people! A lot of my friends live far away But at the same time i'm not dwelling my emotions with alcohol so in a way i'm dealing with them straight on and I think dealing with them now and not hiding them with alcohol will help me cope better in the long run. I feel this way I can get over him quicker. Basically, time is the best medicine. But if you ever need someone to talk to, or if youre having a bad day this site is the best place! i've posted before and its a great outlet!!
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