lostnconfused22 Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Ill make this as short as possible... im quite ashamed of myself. I fell in love with a girl who cheated on her ex to be with me. We were together for 1 1/2 years. I loved her dearly, she seemed quite happy, we were both in love. She started having doubts at the end of our realtionship, she started lying and seeing someone else. I kicked her out told her to never contact me again. She pleaded, cried and begged to talk, all at the same time she was seeing the other guy and having sex. I caved, talked to her, told her i still loved her. We had a sexual relationship for the following 2 months, while she was still seeing the other dude. I was completely confused because i still loved her, and she said the same. at one point, i had enough, told her DO not contact me again. For the past month, shes been asking me to talk, pleading, begging. She says shes made a terrible mistake and wished she could take it all back. Ive been ignoring her but i still miss and love her dearly. Ive been holding strong till today. I wanted confirmation that her feelings were genuine, i have her e-mail password. I went snooping. I found she posted on a forum saying how much she loved and missed me. So i went on the forum, and created a profile... and started chatting with her... she doesnt know its me. I caught myself... and say WTF am i doing. Im playing mind games and making it so i could get more info on her. Im scaring myself. Im horrible... I think im sinking to a new low.
t0ri Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 You're not horrible, you're just hurting and confused. This chick isn't worth any more of your time. I know you love her, but don't you deserve to be loved in return? How can someone love you yet not have the ability to stay committed to only you? I may be biased because I despise cheaters, but I'd say let the other guy have her. She cheated on someone with you, then cheated on you with someone else. See a pattern? She may love and miss you but are you willing to put up with her continuous cheating? A relationship without trust is a doomed one. Not worth it. My advice to you is to cut contact for good, move on. It definitely is easier said than done, but possible, and the best option, in my opinion. Good luck, and don't beat yourself up.
Author lostnconfused22 Posted April 9, 2010 Author Posted April 9, 2010 thank you for your kind words... I really feel like im disgusting for doing this. This relationship confused me to no end and im feeling regret for having done what i did, even if it isnt fatal. Cutting off contact forever has been my goal, but her cries and desperation seem genuine which just makes me miss her. I now i should not miss a cheater and i will find someone who will love me, but mostly i feel i need to get away from this girl for myself, for my own peace of mind, because its making me do things i would have NEVER done. She tells me she loves me and misses me to no end... our relationship was great till this happened and im having trouble letting go because everytime she comes charging, i like it, it feeds my ego, but everytime she stops contact, even if i say dont call me ever again, i miss it. Its a vicious cycle that i have to break and all i truly wished... is that i stopped having feelings for her.
whichwayisup Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 You did that because you have no trust in her. So you snooped...Big deal. She cheated on you continually and lied about it over and over again. She is who she is..Love or not, this girl has a bad habit of cheating on guys, I mean she cheated on her ex, to be with you, left him to be with you. Instead of ending it and then pursuing someone else, she cheats and doesn't think it's a big deal..That is, until she gets caught. You may always love and care about her, but ask yourself, is she worth the heartache and pain? Her behaviour never changed after her begging and crying, two times now! She says one thing, but really does another. She's selfish and isn't thinking of you at all when she's with the other guy. I hope you can find peace and move on with your life.
Author lostnconfused22 Posted April 9, 2010 Author Posted April 9, 2010 Thank you for your post whichway, you hit the nail right on the head, and sometimes it"s easier too see than other times. I want peace myself, im pretty sure ill get it. Im pretty sure i deserve it. Everyone says how rotten she is, i just have a hard time not caring. And i dont trust her... it is the only reason i checked up on it.
whichwayisup Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 Ofcourse you care about her.. You probably love her too. But, keep things in perspective. You love how she made you feel (when things were good and the trust was there). You bonded with her, she was a part of your life. It hurts when you lose someone, double and triple that pain when it involves betrayal. Don't let weak moments make you reach out to her. Stay strong and don't let her crying and begging act get to you. Remember, she's reacting and acting out of desparation and emotions, so she'll promise you and say anything to keep you in her life. Until she gets help, seeks therapy, I wouldn't even consider opening the door and letting her back in.
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