CAMack2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 I've got a relatively minor situation and I was hoping to get a take from a few of you all about it. First, the background info. I've known this girl for several years, though we've never been good friends or anything, and we've gone out from time to time (probably 7 or 8 times in total over the past 4 or 5 years) We've never really defined what it is when we go out. A couple of times she's had a boyfriend when we went out, and a couple of times I've had a girlfriend. We have a lot of fun when we go out--great conversation, laughing, all that. She's very attractive, and I know for a fact that she thinks I'm attractive (I was told by a mutual friend awhile back that she thinks I'm "really, really cute"). We also match well in terms of our career goals, intelligence, stuff like that. So now for the problem at hand. I'm going out with her tonight. She's single and so am I. I'd like to take it to the next level with this girl, if possible. At the same time, I'm not so into her that we can't continue to be friends if she's not interested--it won't break my heart, in other words. I'd definitely like to keep her around as a friend since we have so much in common, regardless of what happens. What I need to know is how I can effectively gauge her interest in me when we go out tonight, so that I won't make her totally uncomfortable if I try to take things to the next level. Let me just throw a few things off the table right away. This girl is old-fashioned in a sense, and pretty shy and passive. Also, from what I've been told, I sort of intimidate her and make her nervous. So, I'm not going to get much from her in terms of flirtatious touching, or things like that. Knowing her as I do, I also don't see her dropping many hints verbally, even if she's interested. It's just not her style. The best I'm going to get from her on her own is probably just that: 1) she wants to spend time alone with me on a Friday night, 2) she'll let me pick her up, take her to a nice dinner, and pay without feeling like she's got to pay me back or make it "even", and 3) she'll dress cute. What can I do from my end to try and facilitate things and see where she stands? One option is just to ask her, but I'm usually very cautious about being so direct. I think it can kill the vibe sometimes.
boogieboy Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Dont ask her anything . All you can do now is escalate things physically. Since she already knows you, and isnt very physical with you, I'd assume she doesnt see you that way. All you can do is take a chance and escalate your way up to a kiss and see if she kisses back. Dont worry about if she is awkward afterwards. just make it happen.
Author CAMack2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Author Posted April 9, 2010 Appreciate the advice. She may well not be interested in me, but because I know her personality well, I disagree that her lack of physical contact so far has any bearing on that. I'll probably do what you've said and just try to escalate things and see if she's receptive. If not, hopefully I should be able to clean things up and make sure we can continue to be friends.
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