femaletroubles Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 ok, so my GF and i of ~6 months broke up. In the time that past i went on a few dates etc, one of them we went back to my place and watched a movie on my bed (nothing happened) now my gf and i were getting back together, she saw socks that were left there and got pissed when i admitted that a girl (while we were seperated, whom i didn't do anything with) watched a movie ON my bed. fast forward several weeks: we're hanging out, i asked whats going on with use..."we're just friends i love you etc" the question is: she asked me the famous question "if you could date anyone who would it be?" i responded her i asked her, she said she wouldn't date anyone. i got up to leave, she didn't want me to go. Should i just say to hell with this girl? I asked her if we're going to get back together she said she couldn't give me an answer. I'm completely confused! I don't know what this girl is thinking? should i just tell her, "if we're not getting back together, goodbye?"
sagetalk Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Tell her you'll wait for her to figure it out, but you are not exclusive. See other girls.
Author femaletroubles Posted April 9, 2010 Author Posted April 9, 2010 i feel like if i say that though she'll get all mad, be like fine w/e we're finished etc...fly off the handle basically she got mad when i asked her for an answer, then told her that i want to know if we're not bc i would go with other ppl is that an honest advice? thx -i like her and don't want to kill any chance of getting back together
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 should i just tell her, "if we're not getting back together, goodbye?" Yes, you will save yourself a lot of wasted time and grief that way. You won't kill your chances of getting back together. She did a pretty good job of that already.
123BeachFan Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Well it sounds like she broke up with you and now she's Friend Zoned you. She's wanting the ego strokes of your attention and hearing that you'd chose her over any other women, yet she's not giving you anything really in return. Best bet is to not see your ex for a while. It is either impossible or it's possible but with sheer torture to remain friends with your ex. And BTW, you did nothing wrong. You certainly weren't in a relationship with the ex at the time you had a girl over to watch a movie, there's nothing you need to apologize over.
phineas Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 i feel like if i say that though she'll get all mad, be like fine w/e we're finished etc...fly off the handle basically she got mad when i asked her for an answer, then told her that i want to know if we're not bc i would go with other ppl is that an honest advice? thx -i like her and don't want to kill any chance of getting back together does she normally fly off the handle like that? Who initiated the break-up? Her behavior of not knowing if she wants you but also not wanting you to find someone else feels an awful lot like how my wife was. There was another man in the picture. Not saying your GF is seeing someone else just relaying my personal experiance.
boogieboy Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 She doesnt care about getting back together with you, she just needs you around until she finds someone new. You gonna let her do that to you? In the meantime, you tell her about the girls youre with and dated, and make her mad. She wont stop talking to you becauise of that, it will make her jealous...which she deserves right now. She wont walk out on you until she finds someone new first.
sagetalk Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 i feel like if i say that though she'll get all mad, be like fine w/e we're finished etc...fly off the handle basically she got mad when i asked her for an answer, then told her that i want to know if we're not bc i would go with other ppl is that an honest advice? thx -i like her and don't want to kill any chance of getting back together Yes, that was honest advice. She sounds like a horrible girlfriend. Tell her until she wants to be your girlfriend, you're going to see other girls. Don't let her control you and drag you along until she can find another guy. Girls who have no other guys in the picture usually don't ask like this.
Author femaletroubles Posted April 9, 2010 Author Posted April 9, 2010 thanks guys i told her that i was mad about how she responded, that i think there is another man in the picture, and that until she WANTS to be my GF then i'm going to see other people she replied "go knock yourself out, i don't want to be with you...that won't change. the more you act like this the more i realize you aren't the one for me."
eraser Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 i feel like if i say that though she'll get all mad, be like fine w/e we're finished etc...fly off the handle basically she got mad when i asked her for an answer, then told her that i want to know if we're not bc i would go with other ppl Dump her. She wants you committed to her, but she doesn't want to be committed to you. Total BS. she replied "go knock yourself out, i don't want to be with you...that won't change. the more you act like this the more i realize you aren't the one for me." Don't fall for this manipulative BS, either.
Author femaletroubles Posted April 9, 2010 Author Posted April 9, 2010 "Go out there and find what you want--i can't be it"
eraser Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 "Go out there and find what you want--i can't be it" Well, she speaks the truth there. Though, I suspect she's only saying that to get you to say something like, "No! I really want YOU!" More BS.
Author femaletroubles Posted April 9, 2010 Author Posted April 9, 2010 i responded "u brought it to this, when we're together we get along great, you don't want to be together...fine w/e i'm going to date other people, it's not a big deal" her response "ciao" guess that's it?? honestly i'm not that torn up over this, i did meet a really nice girl the other weekend, who i just called and have a date for next weekend
Author femaletroubles Posted April 9, 2010 Author Posted April 9, 2010 she messaged me "i'm done, i want nothing to do with u, forget you know me" i don't think i'm going to respond to that
Lakeside_runner Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Reading this thread is just like... watching 'Lost'...
eraser Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 guess that's it?? honestly i'm not that torn up over this, i did meet a really nice girl the other weekend, who i just called and have a date for next weekend Then, forget your ex and enjoy this new girl. Be prepared to have your ex come back for round two, though- especially if she hears that you're dating someone else.
Author femaletroubles Posted April 10, 2010 Author Posted April 10, 2010 Well, she speaks the truth there. Though, I suspect she's only saying that to get you to say something like, "No! I really want YOU!" More BS. i think thats the case too, this has happened before she basically ends it, then she goes out on a few dates, realizes she's not going to meet someone as warm, loving, good looking, successful, intelligent as i am, and she comes back and says she misses me etc...
eraser Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 she messaged me "i'm done, i want nothing to do with u, forget you know me" i don't think i'm going to respond to that Don't. If you respond, she'll just keep going.
Author femaletroubles Posted April 10, 2010 Author Posted April 10, 2010 Reading this thread is just like... watching 'Lost'... lol...I am lost, lost in the mysteries of how the female mind thinks lol
Author femaletroubles Posted April 10, 2010 Author Posted April 10, 2010 Don't. If you respond, she'll just keep going. ok, no responding, i'm not logging off aim either though. just not responding to anything more that comes, don't expect anything tho (she gets mad like this, and has a very proud personality)
eraser Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 i think thats the case too, this has happened before she basically ends it, then she goes out on a few dates, realizes she's not going to meet someone as warm, loving, good looking, successful, intelligent as i am, and she comes back and says she misses me etc... So, if you recognize you're all of those things, why waste your time with your ex? You can move on and not skip a beat. I mean, obviously, that's what you're working on. You have dates lined up. Keep them. Your "relationship" with the ex is going nowhere fast.
eraser Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 ok, no responding, i'm not logging off aim either though. just not responding to anything more that comes, don't expect anything tho (she gets mad like this, and has a very proud personality) Block her. Why even have a line of communication open for her to continue with the drama?
Author femaletroubles Posted April 10, 2010 Author Posted April 10, 2010 So, if you recognize you're all of those things, why waste your time with your ex? You can move on and not skip a beat. I mean, obviously, that's what you're working on. You have dates lined up. Keep them. Your "relationship" with the ex is going nowhere fast. i mean bc as much as i can just move right along with my life. i really did like her, and a part of me will always want to get back together with her. her personality is like fire, its too hot when you're close but the glow is mesmerizing
eraser Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 i mean bc as much as i can just move right along with my life. i really did like her, and a part of me will always want to get back together with her. her personality is like fire, its too hot when you're close but the glow is mesmerizing If she's like fire, then she can also burn you. As much as you like her, she's not good for you. It sounds like she won't ever be. People who are into mental and emotional manipulation in relationships don't really ever change. Everything is always about them and everyone else is just a resource for their own ends. In this case, she just wants you around to boost her ego. Exercise self-respect and tell yourself that you refuse to be involved with someone who just wants to use you.
Author femaletroubles Posted April 10, 2010 Author Posted April 10, 2010 i'm SOOOO PISSED at myself she called me while i was taking a shower. basically she was like, why are you creating drama like this etc. i told her that she started it when she said that she didn't want to date anyone. note: about a month ago she had come back to me and was like "i miss you lets get back together" i told her lets take it slow, fix the problems so when we do it'll flow nicely with no problems anyways, she got all mad etc, basically i told her "i wanted to get back together, u didn't so go do whatever you want. i know that there was another guy or still is while we were separated." (god bless antibiotics btw, thats how i know) she got all mad, told me "F*** you" and hung up. i sent her a txt saying that she owes me an apology the more i think about it, the madder i get, the more angry i get. i shouldn't have called her back, i shouldn't have sent that txt. and i realize that i would never want to end up with a woman who acts like this. And as incredibly mad and frustrated i am at her right now i'm still attracted to her. why? it doesn't make sense only a few days ago we went out to lunch, and while we were walking she held my hand. i let her everytime, i didn't initiate it until when we were leaving. then a few days later she says she doesn't want to get back together?? like wth happened?
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