ciu Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 If your ex boyfriend who broke up with you comes back after 1 month saying he regrets the break up, he can't get over you, he still thinks as you 2 are together, he is hurt badly, his life doesn't have any meaning anymore, he is not willing to go to work, go out with friends and has completely isolated himself from the world, he cries on the phone each time he calls you, says he is willing to change few things such as being more invested, finding ways to spend more time together (we used to see each other only in the weekends as we live in different cities) BUT he skips talking of the main reason of the break up (I wanted him to promise me he was in this relationship with intentions to have a future and a family together someday). Even after the break up and hurting so bad, he still says he doesn't want to make any plan about the future, he just wants to be with me. Would you settle for less and get back with him? All these attempts are confusing me becuase I love him and also want to be with him but is it worth taking the risk of entering into a relationship again without knowing where this is taking you and being in the same situation again few years down the road? Should I listen my heart or my logic?
GrayClouds Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Or suggest he find some counseling to understand why he is having such a difficult time committing, and if he does find that answer, you will be very willing to discuss a future.
Author ciu Posted April 9, 2010 Author Posted April 9, 2010 Or suggest he find some counseling to understand why he is having such a difficult time committing, and if he does find that answer, you will be very willing to discuss a future. Good idea. Because each time i ask him if he loves me so much and wants me so badly why is the idea of commiting scaring the sh...t out of him. He says he doesn't know, he wish he knew, he think we will be together forever but he can't give me any promise or guarantee....am I dealing with a kid here?
The Non-Student Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Only if he makes real commitments and shows real change in the relationship. Otherwise you're going to be stuck in the same relationship that broke down just a month ago.
Ilovecake Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 1. I would never date a man that emotional. 2. I would never date someone who discarded me and then changed his mind when he realized the grass wasn’t greener on the other side after all. Those are just my personal preferences.
GrayClouds Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Good idea. Because each time i ask him if he loves me so much and wants me so badly why is the idea of commiting scaring the sh...t out of him. He says he doesn't know, he wish he knew, he think we will be together forever but he can't give me any promise or guarantee....am I dealing with a kid here? Sounds to me his issue is more about a fear of being alone, and he is basically saying being in a relationship with you is simple better then being alone. If he show other patterns of having a hard time committing/making decision in his life then is likely a much deeper issue that he will need a good deal of work to overcome, and unless he is truly willing to put in that work he is very unlikely to change anytime in the near future. Again I suggest you recommend him to get help for himself if this is the case while you focus about improving yourself, then let the future take care of itself.
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