lacebridal Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 I posted on here about 2.5 years ago and I got good advice – but I didn’t follow the advice. I went ahead and got married. When I posted 2.5 years ago, I had 5-months to go before my wedding, and I found out that my fiancé was on a dating website. I went to the website and there was his photo and his profile with his status – single. He also had several photos of 4-5 different women saved on his computer, but he swears that he downloaded all of the photos because he was bored; he claims he had no contact with any of the women; never had any intentions of meeting or talking to them. I called the wedding off. He begged, pleaded and cried. Unfortunately, I listened to his pleas, and to family and friends and took him back and we got married. Call me stupid; because a week before I found out he was on a dating website, we were shooting pool at his home. It was a Saturday night, around 11:30pm. His cell phone rang; he didn’t answer, so his home phone rang. This time he answered. It was his long-time female friend named Tammy, whom he’s known for 15-years and whom I’ve heard him speak about, but I’ve never met her. They talked for about 15-minutes. She asked what he was doing and he said, “Nothing”. I stood there, waiting for him to say that he was spending the evening with his fiancé. He never did. When he got off of the phone, he made all these excuses why he didn’t mention that I was at his house and that we were spending the evening together. My 2-years of marriage have been “one excuse after another”… We were married in March 2008…. The next morning, after our wedding, we were leaving the hotel and my H took some money from his pocket to pay the bellhop. My H had at least forty - $1 bills. I asked him why he had so many $1 bills. He claims that one of his friends gave him a handful of money and he doesn’t know why there were so many $1 dollar bills. About 12 of his male friends came into town for the wedding. I asked him did they go to a strip club or have a striper come to the hotel room after our wedding rehearsal Friday night. He swears “no”. I never have believed him. He always hides money and lies about it. I was laid-off and unemployed for more than a year and I received unemployment. He works from home; however, his sales consulting business is really suffering. He told me that (in February) one of his friends loaned him $1200. We were 2-months behind on our mortgage so my H gave me $950 and I put in the other $350 so we could pay one month’s mortgage. I later found out that he got more than $3000.00 from his friend. Shortly after that, my H made a sale and he told me that he got $1500 in commission. I later found out that he got more than $2600. Another time, he said he got $900 when instead, he got $2300.00. These are just a few of the lies, excuses, and deception that I put up with. I have reached my breaking point and a few weeks ago we agreed that he would move out – he said that he will be gone by May 1st. In the 2 years that we have been married, I have never trusted him. He constantly lies, so I don’t know what to believe. He tells me that I am paranoid; that I have no reason not to trust him. He always makes excuses for everything he does, and makes it seem as if I am the one with the problem. I feel that I am doing the right thing by suggesting we go our separate ways, but he makes me feel like I am stupid; that I am paranoid. He walks around looking pitiful and wounded. I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to be married to this person. He is a chronic liar and he is sick. He proved to me 2.5 years ago that he was not ready for a commitment – I was stupid – and now I want out. Am I wrong?
Luv2dance Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 I would say that this man is not good for you nor is he ready for a committment. It would take a lot of counseling and he would have to see that he has a problem for it even to work at all.
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