Ariadne Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 Btw, I did a quick search about a Good Husband according to the Bible, and this was the first result that came up: ------------- Role of the Husband in the Bible Introduction and summary: Leader and provider The first primary role in the family of the man is to show loving leadership over wife and children. Oversight of all matters in the home, both physical and spiritual... (1 Tim 5:8)The second primary role in the family of the man is to be the "breadwinner." Works to make money to support family. Here is an extract of what followed: A. Exercise Authority. - Husband is head B. Responsible. -Accountable. Cf. Executives; Bank presidents, Head coaches, etc. -Keeping things under control so that bad things avoided. -Good manager must be aware. Must say in touch. Be sure that what should be happening is; that what shouldn't be happening, isn't. -Must keep household under control. Cf. qualifications of elders, C. Provide. - Physical: food, clothing, shelter, I Tim. 5:8. - Husband’s job is to meet needs of wife & children (whatever the need). - Needs of wife, become husband’s needs. - Like physical head; supervises nourishment, care of body. - Doesn't run off on own. Constantly concerned, aware. - Dedicated to providing for her benefit, her safety. - nourish; "to nourish up to maturity...to bring up." - Ought not to expect wife to act like man. H.S. says they are different. D. With honor, I Pet.3:7. ---------------- Of course, nowadays most people believe that Christians got it all wrong and that what makes a good husband is basically: A guy who is "nice" and listens to you, is understanding, faithful, honest, and wants to have sex. Well, if you are lucky to marry him, you'll have to work full-time, pay for 50/50 part of the bills, most likely cook dinner and clean the dishes, and then love him a whole bunch.
aerogurl87 Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 To me a good husband is someone who sticks by his wife through thick and thin, carrying his weight of responsibility in the relationship so that it's not all on his wife. He doesn't run away when problems arise, but will try and work them out with his wife. He puts his family first always in his life and tries to do what is best for the family, not just for himself. He realizes that no one is perfect, including his wife and accepts her for who she really is. He doesn't belittle her or disrespect her either in public or in private. He loves his wife on a level that is deeper than the physical and delves into the depths of emotional, mental, and spiritual love for her. He works to grow with his wife everyday, realizing that life isn't always going to be perfect with her but that even when it's not if they work together they can make it the best it will be. He's a good role model for his children and tries to teach them how to become good adults when they grow up. To me that is a good husband.
MizzBlue72 Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 hmmm .... these are the traits of a great husband that I wish I had. 1. He challenges me - he is not a doormat, and does not let me walk all over him. He calls me on my BS and is willing to go toe to toe on all the major issues, not allowing me to take control, or requiring someone to make all the decisions. 2. He has unconditional love for me, and I for him - no matter what, he will love me. Yes, we will fight, but we will always make up and know that the love we have is tantamount to any argument we could have. 3. He is committed to family - he is there for family obligations, birthdays, etc. He understands that building this foundation for the children is important, being a good example for the kids and a strong partner in the house. 4. He WANTS a partnership - a TRUE 50/50. 5. He let's his guard down - makes me understand that under all the testosterone there is someone who is human, with feelings, caring, kindness and compassion. 6. He does not have any type of addiction - alcohol, drugs, etc. End of discussion - I do not want to fix him nor do I want him to try to 'fix' me. 7. He understands that marriage takes work - you can't just sit back and reap the benefits of a great marriage and not put any work into it. 8. He loves kids - treats them with compassion, loving, and care. He also can discipline as a father should. There is a balance. 9. He lets me spoil him - and I let him spoil me 10. He understands there is more to life than each other - two people come together to make one. 11. He will never share my secrets or use them against me when we fight - EVER 12. He's NOT perfect - he has mistakes and so do I. He can respect the past and move forward with the future.
soserious1 Posted April 11, 2010 Posted April 11, 2010 One who accepts the alimony settlement as it was written and doesn't have his bull dog of a lawyer hauling me into court every other month looking to try to get more. My definition of a good husband is no husband..
mem11363 Posted April 12, 2010 Posted April 12, 2010 - Makes his wife his highest priority - Develops skill over time at doing the things that make her happy and - Makes an effort NOT to do the things that make her unhappy - Holds his wife to a similar standard of behavior I don't know what a good husband really is but what is considered a good one these days is pretty much a doormat. Who is looking out for him while he thinks of everybody else?
Tommy's Girl Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 Btw, I did a quick search about a Good Husband according to the Bible, and this was the first result that came up: ------------- Role of the Husband in the Bible Introduction and summary: Leader and provider The first primary role in the family of the man is to show loving leadership over wife and children. Oversight of all matters in the home, both physical and spiritual... (1 Tim 5:8)The second primary role in the family of the man is to be the "breadwinner." Works to make money to support family.Here is an extract of what followed: A. Exercise Authority. - Husband is head B. Responsible. -Accountable. Cf. Executives; Bank presidents, Head coaches, etc. -Keeping things under control so that bad things avoided. -Good manager must be aware. Must say in touch. Be sure that what should be happening is; that what shouldn't be happening, isn't. -Must keep household under control. Cf. qualifications of elders, C. Provide. - Physical: food, clothing, shelter, I Tim. 5:8. - Husband’s job is to meet needs of wife & children (whatever the need). - Needs of wife, become husband’s needs. - Like physical head; supervises nourishment, care of body. - Doesn't run off on own. Constantly concerned, aware. - Dedicated to providing for her benefit, her safety. - nourish; "to nourish up to maturity...to bring up." - Ought not to expect wife to act like man. H.S. says they are different. D. With honor, I Pet.3:7. ---------------- Of course, nowadays most people believe that Christians got it all wrong and that what makes a good husband is basically: A guy who is "nice" and listens to you, is understanding, faithful, honest, and wants to have sex. Well, if you are lucky to marry him, you'll have to work full-time, pay for 50/50 part of the bills, most likely cook dinner and clean the dishes, and then love him a whole bunch. I'm glad you posted this. When my husband and I first got married we took a course at our church called "Marriage Without Regrets." One of the most powerful verses in the Bible that my husband tries to live by is the one that says a man should love his wife as Christ loved the church. My husband strives for that and I see it everyday. He is his own man and not a doormat, but he adores me and takes care of me. I never imagined I'd have a man like this. A good husband is also one that makes you feel beautiful. My husband is always telling me how pretty I am even when I think I look awful with no makeup and messed up hair. lol
You Go Girl Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 Of course, nowadays most people believe that Christians got it all wrong and that what makes a good husband is basically: A guy who is "nice" and listens to you, is understanding, faithful, honest, and wants to have sex. Well, if you are lucky to marry him, you'll have to work full-time, pay for 50/50 part of the bills, most likely cook dinner and clean the dishes, and then love him a whole bunch. So the bible is an excuse for not working or carrying part of the financial load?
Ariadne Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 So the bible is an excuse for not working or carrying part of the financial load? "Part of the financial load" is where society has messed up. Women with children especially don't belong in the workforce.
bananalaffytaffy Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 OP- I've read your previous posts. I am hoping you are not taking blame for your wife's condition by being a "bad husband" or "irresponsible" in helping her in her condition. Of course she is not here to defend herself, but from what I have read, you have gone above and beyond in being "responsible" and a "good husband". I can't imagine what you are going through. I hope that you have some peace in your life very soon. ~BLT
Author just_some_guy Posted April 15, 2010 Author Posted April 15, 2010 OP- I've read your previous posts. I am hoping you are not taking blame for your wife's condition by being a "bad husband" or "irresponsible" in helping her in her condition. Of course she is not here to defend herself, but from what I have read, you have gone above and beyond in being "responsible" and a "good husband". I can't imagine what you are going through. I hope that you have some peace in your life very soon. ~BLT I admit I have a pattern of taking on too much responsibility. My notion of doing the right thing, being a good man, and so on, needs a little clarity. It has been an interesting thread indeed.
FarmGirl Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 Just tossing it out there. Please define, "Good husband" in your own terms. For extra credit, define, "responsibility" particularly as it relates to being a "good husband". To me a good husband (or partner for me since I seriously doubt anyone could ever entice me to get married again LOL): +Honest (A#1 as another poster so aptly put it) +Loyal/Faithful +Works hard for the family just like I do but not at the expense of the family +No addictions! Period. No porn, drugs, alcohol. +Comes to bed with me most nights! +Loves sex with me +Keeps his conversations with other women OUT of the emotional affair danger zone (too much of this in my past relationships...ugh) +Loves my children from previous relationships & is kind to them & a good role model +Has a bit of chivalry left (see next line) +But also understands my feminist ways & enjoys them rather than tries to squash them +Financially responsible (taxes, credit, child support if indicated, bills etc) +Personally responsible (takes care of home, car, broken bikes, etc in conjunction with me) +Allows me to be my independent and opinionated self +Actually wants a little bit of a social life with me +Plans for our future +Plans vacations or places to go, do etc... +A partner and friend and someone to rely on when the world turns on you +Kind towards other people (helps others in need) I could go on and on.
skylarblue Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 Just tossing it out there. Please define, "Good husband" in your own terms." A good H would be a man who is my best friend (and vice versa), who loves me unconditionally and has my and his family’s best interest at heart, faithful and enamored, hardworking, an attentive father, and the provider and protector of his family. For extra credit, define, "responsibility" particularly as it relates to being a "good husband". I’m kinda “archaic”…I think his “responsibilities” are to be a committed protector, provider, and father. I would include faithfulness, but as a “responsibility” I lean towards the thought that it’s kinda contingent.
Eeyore79 Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 Imo a good husband is one who: -Works hard and provides for the family (I'm prepared to work too, but I'd like my husband to be the main breadwinner so I can dedicate at least part of my time to childcare) -Helps with stuff around the house, mows the lawn, etc -Spends quality time with his wife and kids, loves and takes care of them -Is faithful and honest, and generally decent and kind, with no addictions or issues with anger or violence etc That's the bare minimum though - a GREAT husband would also: -Try to stay fit and attractive, and have some interests -Make an effort to maintain the romance in the relationship Ime, a lot of marriages which break down either a)Didn't work to begin with because the couple weren't in love, b)Stopped working because the attraction and romance fizzled out, or c)Stopped working because the couple were too busy with work etc to pay attention to each other. You can be a good husband and still get dumped if you neglect to be a great husband and keep your wife happy in a sex/attraction/relationship sense.
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