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Having a down day today

Tasha1675

By Tasha1675
in Coping

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Tasha1675 Member

Tasha1675

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Having a down day today :( Just found out that my ex has de-tagged himself from my friend's photos of us together on Facebook.

 

I know, I know, it's been almost 6 months and it's a perfectly understandable thing to do now we are not together but he's only done it in the last couple of months and it just makes me feel sad.

 

I feel like he is now happily completely erasing me from his life, which probably is normal too. I guess I am just not over it yet, feel miserable :(

myhearthurtsbadly Established Member

myhearthurtsbadly

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Hey hun,

 

im too low to give advice but just wanted to tell you i feel horrible to. Stupidly looked at her facebook today and some guy she has obviously had something with write "fit" which she 'liked'. The feeling of betrayal is immense.

This Hurts Established Member

This Hurts

Posted
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Having a down day today :( Just found out that my ex has de-tagged himself from my friend's photos of us together on Facebook.

 

I know, I know, it's been almost 6 months and it's a perfectly understandable thing to do now we are not together but he's only done it in the last couple of months and it just makes me feel sad.

 

I feel like he is now happily completely erasing me from his life, which probably is normal too. I guess I am just not over it yet, feel miserable :(

 

I feel you. I understand exactly how you feel and I think you have all the right in the world to feel this way, but if I were you I would try to stay away from social networking sites as much as possible.

 

My big issue lately has been temptations to talk to her (text, call). But surprisingly, I've managed to stay away from temptations of looking at pictures, snooping around on profiles, etc., and honestly I have a feeling if I were to snoop I would find something I REALLY don't want to know.

 

I don't know why I just ranted about my issue, but what I was trying to say is try to stay away from facebook :p Small things like realizing they de-tagged can lead to never-ending questions that will just end up hurting you further.

This Hurts Established Member

This Hurts

Posted
Posted
Hey hun,

 

im too low to give advice but just wanted to tell you i feel horrible to. Stupidly looked at her facebook today and some guy she has obviously had something with write "fit" which she 'liked'. The feeling of betrayal is immense.

 

There's not much I can say to make you feel better, but I SWEAR I know exactly how you're feeling right now.

 

In fact, I feel like we could instantly become best friends because of it. Lol.

DustySaltus Established Member

DustySaltus

Posted
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Tasha, I think you're looking at the photos that are still up there and thinking to yourself, "well, as long as there is a photo of him and I together there's still a chance. Maybe, he's thinking he made a mistake or something".

 

Looking at a picture never tells the true story of the individual. Forget about his thoughts because they were selfish. I read your story and he left you because he felt like he still wanted to get out there and sow his oats. That was HIS decision. He didn't have the discipline or desire to want to try and fight through this issue to be with you. He even told you that down the line he may have even cheated on you. This isn't the guy you are supposed to be with. Really, take a step back for a second and think about how things could've worked out long term. You would've wound up suffering 1,000 times worse than you are at the moment.

 

Stop looking at pictures of him on facebook, cut all contact and focus on your own needs, like he selfishly did. We all have our good days and bad days but the key is to gain a perspective on why this really had to happen and how that event will help you in the future. In time you will realize that this happened for a reason, to let the person into your life that you are really supposed to be with. Pain is weakness leaving the body. You will grow stronger from this experience. Have faith in yourself and you will accomplish great things. You have a lot of support here.

myhearthurtsbadly Established Member

myhearthurtsbadly

Posted
Posted

In fact, I feel like we could instantly become best friends because of it. Lol.

 

Haha its funny that isnt it. When someone you have never met gets exactly how you feel even though it feels so unique. Theres more background to my story as well, 3 weeks ago she falsely accused me of common assault which i have been charged with. Dont worry ive got a good lawyer and hes pretty confident. So yeh thats how my relationship ended..

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Tasha1675 Member

Tasha1675

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Tasha, I think you're looking at the photos that are still up there and thinking to yourself, "well, as long as there is a photo of him and I together there's still a chance. Maybe, he's thinking he made a mistake or something".

 

Looking at a picture never tells the true story of the individual. Forget about his thoughts because they were selfish. I read your story and he left you because he felt like he still wanted to get out there and sow his oats. That was HIS decision. He didn't have the discipline or desire to want to try and fight through this issue to be with you. He even told you that down the line he may have even cheated on you. This isn't the guy you are supposed to be with. Really, take a step back for a second and think about how things could've worked out long term. You would've wound up suffering 1,000 times worse than you are at the moment.

 

Stop looking at pictures of him on facebook, cut all contact and focus on your own needs, like he selfishly did. We all have our good days and bad days but the key is to gain a perspective on why this really had to happen and how that event will help you in the future. In time you will realize that this happened for a reason, to let the person into your life that you are really supposed to be with. Pain is weakness leaving the body. You will grow stronger from this experience. Have faith in yourself and you will accomplish great things. You have a lot of support here.

 

Dusty - thanks for your comments. I deleted my Facebook account when he ended things and although I have a new account now, I have not added my ex to avoid these feelings but a friend of mine mentioned tonight that she had noticed on her facebook page that he had removed the tags from her photos.

 

You are absolutely right, I think I am afraid of letting go so I am holdng on to anything at all to keep myself attached to him even though I am obviously not, if that makes sense!

 

I certainly feel like I am doing all the right things to move on and I have come a long way but these little things just remind me that I am not over him yet.

 

Thank you for reading my previous thread about the break up, you are right, he was completely selfish and I know the hurt I feel now is nothing compared to how it could have been later down the line. I just wish I could get over it already!

 

I have really tried to move on, have even applied to university (second time around as I already have one degree) and have managed to get onto a really competitive course (Speech and language therapy) which I never would have been able to do if I was with my ex so that is a really positive thing :) I will be a mature student at 28 which is slightly scary!

 

Now I just need to get rid of these feelings for my ex who I know isn't worth the bother really! aaghh!

 

Myhearthurtsbadly & This Hurts - thank you for your comments too :)

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