Joe Normal Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 A guy I knew booked a holiday with his girlfriend, checked into a hotel. Once she was asleep, he snuck out and caught the next plane back, leaving her there alone. To add insult to injury, he had booked her a one-way ticket so she had to pay to get back. Needless to say, they didn't get back together!
bluz73 Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 A guy I knew booked a holiday with his girlfriend, checked into a hotel. Once she was asleep, he snuck out and caught the next plane back, leaving her there alone. To add insult to injury, he had booked her a one-way ticket so she had to pay to get back. Needless to say, they didn't get back together! wow what did she do to deserve that? or was he that much of an idiot?
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 Oh, here's one I forgot... The Broken Engagement Breakup the major breakup that sneaks up on you and upends your life A college boyfriend of mine took me on a family vacation to Boston over Christmas/New Years break the year after we graduated. He was going to propose to me at Xmas. I knew something was up though, because when we exchanged gifts at Xmas I had given him a very expensive set of pipes and pipe tobacco and he gave me a couple of Bach cassettes instead of the 'puzzle box' that was supposed to have my ring in it (I had found it over the summer and he told me that it was going to be my Xmas present so getting engaged wasn't going to really be a surprise). I figured that maybe he was waiting until we got to Boston to see the rest of his family. We took a walk the first night - it was snowing and we were on that famous bridge in Boston and he looked at me, and said "I don't love you anymore" and ended it. I stayed the rest of the time mostly in my room. Everyone was quiet and it was horrible. I sat next to him on the flight home, not saying a word. We got back, I drove the four hour trip back to where we were going to live after we got married and that was that. I have never been so uncomfortable in my life as hanging out with his family with the full knowledge that he had dumped me.
Author EricaH329 Posted April 16, 2010 Author Posted April 16, 2010 I have never been so uncomfortable in my life as hanging out with his family with the full knowledge that he had dumped me. Did we date the same guy?! I have an ex who did something very similiar. His family invited me on vacation during Christmas and New Years one year. We went to Florida. While we were there, my ex broke up with me. It was the most uncomfortable experience ever. It really is terrible that people can do things like that. Oh, not to mention, I had left my family on Christmas to be with him and his family.
thisdayforward Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 Yikes! I think I've used three of these over the last month in my attempts to break it off with my now ex. The last time we talked about it, I finally blurted out the truth - "Your interaction with other women really hurts me and I do not want to be in a serious relationship with someone who behaves that way! I've told you this before, it has only gotten worse, and I'm not tolerating it." I hope we stay broken up this time...if that is in fact the best thing for us. (still somewhat uncertain...)
CaliGuy Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 I'm at the point in life now where I don't think about the past, only the present and future. If someone wants to walk away from you, let them go. The sooner you do that, the sooner you heal, move on and meet someone a thousand times better!
Eeyore79 Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 My first love used the "Destiny Paradox" on me... he used it as an excuse to string me along for several more years, getting back together and dumping me quite a few times, and using the same "Destiny Paradox" every time. It would have been easier for me if he had just been honest about not wanting to be with me; instead I had to figure that out for myself by watching the years pass, and watching him have relationships with others when he could easily have been with me if he really wanted to. The feeling of "destiny" that he created made it really difficult for me to kick him into touch; even now I sometimes still feel the "destiny" feeling for him and have to mentally kick myself. My second love used the "Reversal" on me... he said he needed space to focus on his work, I was the closest thing he ever found to what he was looking for, but he couldn't be the man I needed him to be so he was letting me go, he felt nothing but love for me and wished me every happiness, etc. It left me feeling like there could have been hope for us, if only the situation had been slightly different, and I clung on to that hope for a couple of years. Again, he could have been with me if he really wanted to... I guess the truth was that he didn't want to. I used the "Trade Off" quite a few times in my youth... maybe I was in a relationship which wasn't going so well, but had no incentive to end it until I started having feeelings for someone else. Nowadays I have more sense, and I would end the relationship which wasn't working regardless of whether I had other options, because I wouldn't want to waste my time or hurt the other person more than necessary. I am sorry to say that I used the "Murder Suicide" several years ago to end my engagement... things were not working and I didn't want to be the bad guy by calling it off, so I just became really difficult and argumentative over a period of a few months until he walked out on me. He was convinced that I was cheating because I was being so difficult (I wasn't, but he told everyone I was), so in the end people probably hated me more than they would have done if I had just been honest and admitted that the relationship wasn't working. I regret not having handled that one a bit better. I agree that the "Disappearing Act" has been omitted from that table and is by far the worst, because it leaves you wondering and clinging on to hope for months on end. You wonder if you are just being overly paranoid or clingy, you try to rationalise things in your mind, when the truth is that you are right to be upset and your partner has in fact done the disappearing act. THE DISAPPEARING ACT Characterized by: Either vanishing off the face of the earth and ignoring all contact from your significant other, or responding infrequently and slowly distancing yourself. Standard quote: "I'm not ignoring you, I'm just busy". Why you think you do it: Cause you want to let them down gently rather than dumping them outright. Why you really do it: Cause you're a coward and you lack the decency and balls to tell them to their face that you no longer want to date them. Why it's bull****: The person feels like they're just being paranoid about your lack of contact, and they cling onto hope for months on end, until they finally admit to themselves what has happened. Truthful quote: "I'm not busy, I just don't want to talk to you any more".
Joe Normal Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 I'm at the point in life now where I don't think about the past, only the present and future. I agree 100%. Now if only I could persuade my bank manager to think the same way...
Joe Normal Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 wow what did she do to deserve that? or was he that much of an idiot? Absolutely nothing that I know of. AND he was cheating on her. Yes he was an idiot. Anyway, I heard a while ago that he is now totally bald and has herpes, so I guess karma is a bitch
cmichael16 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Reversal - Forced Fight - And Destiny... all in the same day... no wonder im so screwed up right now eeesh
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