Nomad1 Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 No worries Nobby! I dig the Black Country humour! Hope you are ok Gunny.:bunny::bunny::bunny:
quankanne Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Sometimes you just can't carry the load alone and by yourself. exactly – and you, who have served your country with a strong measure of devotion, more than deserve the opportunity for total healing. Admitting that you need help to get back to who you were is no shameful thing, but one of strength. As in, only the strong can recognize their weaknesses, then address them. happy pills? Maybe. In my case, more like "get back among the living" pills
skydiveaddict Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 So I did it! I went and saw a psychologist! He tells me? Yep you've got it! Depression/anxiety/ PTSD! Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome Depression! Anger, depression, anxiety! WTF? I'm sitting around waiting for a car to backfire to hit tha' ground? I spend most nights sleepless and restless? So tomorrow I go and see my Primary Care Provider and get my "Happy Pills! SorryI let you all down! It was either that or break down! Gunny: when I got back last Nov. I was a complete mess. I mean a REAL mess. The doc told me I had PTSD also. I did the counseling and drug therapy as well. I can tell you my friend, it kept me from going insane or worse. I'm much much better now. I hope you follow through with it too. No one has walked that mile in your boots but you, but I do know that you can get better good luck to ya Marine
tnttim Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 So I did it! I went and saw a psychologist! He tells me? Yep you've got it! Depression/anxiety/ PTSD! Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome Depression! Anger, depression, anxiety! WTF? I'm sitting around waiting for a car to backfire to hit tha' ground? I spend most nights sleepless and restless? So tomorrow I go and see my Primary Care Provider and get my "Happy Pills! SorryI let you all down! It was either that or break down! Parts of me are awesome, the rest I'm working on!
tojaz Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 (edited) So I did it! I went and saw a psychologist! He tells me? Yep you've got it! Depression/anxiety/ PTSD! Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome Depression! Anger, depression, anxiety! WTF? I'm sitting around waiting for a car to backfire to hit tha' ground? I spend most nights sleepless and restless? So tomorrow I go and see my Primary Care Provider and get my "Happy Pills! SorryI let you all down! It was either that or break down! Wow Guns, I wish I would have read this sooner. First of all, your not letting anybody down. Its one hell of a man to stand up and decide he needs to see a psychologist. I see one regularly and i'm glad I do, but I doubt that I would have been strong enough to come to that conclusion on my own. Thats one I have to thank the ex for. Second, its an even stronger man to come here and announce it to the world and to lots of folks that look up to him. My point in even posting this is to encourage others to not to hesitate to reach out and get help. Sometimes you just can't carry the load alone and by yourself. And yea! Its Okay to let yourself cry a tear or two. But I'm not telling you anything you didn't already know. Gunny, you know an awful lot, and your going to be learning a lot more about yourself. So again, your not letting anybody down, in fact your a fabulous example to us all. (giving my best civilian salute)! TOJAZ Edited April 9, 2010 by tojaz
trippi1432 Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Thank you for the support! Hey Gunny...you do what you have to do...getting support from somewhere else IS NOT a sign of weakness. You've fought the hard fight, you've raised your daughter to be strong...this is time for you. For finding you. There are a lot of us here, struggling....but it's OUR responsibility to feel what we do, to do what we do to ourselves. You have been the watchful eye of the gatekeeper:love::love::love: Now it is YOUR time. Time is too long and life is too short my friend....find what makes you happy...else sorrow will own you. You've been through too much for too many to not be all that you are. Hugs. :love:
soheartbroken Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Gunny, I don't know what to say, except thank you for being there for all of us when you could, despite your own troubles. In this respect you are many times the person that I am.
LakesideDream Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Buck up Guns. Move to the rear and get some R&R. Everyone needs a break for awhile. Do what you have to do. Let the corpsmen do their jobs Marine. You'll be back to your usual obnoxious self soon. Semper Fi,
mimidarlin Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 Much love going out to Gunny... You've inspired me to buck up and put on my big girl panties when I need it most. Now is your time to do the opposite. I can't imagine what survivors guilt feels like. I want to empathize but it's beyond my realm of experience. Just know that we are here to support you.
whichwayisup Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 So I did it! I went and saw a psychologist! He tells me? Yep you've got it! Depression/anxiety/ PTSD! Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome Depression! Anger, depression, anxiety! WTF? I'm sitting around waiting for a car to backfire to hit tha' ground? I spend most nights sleepless and restless? So tomorrow I go and see my Primary Care Provider and get my "Happy Pills! SorryI let you all down! It was either that or break down! You are going to be okay. I have a deep respect for you, on so many levels.. You've helped so many folks on here, now it's time to sit back and let everyone help you through this. Keep posting and just know that you have alot of support on LS!
Author Gunny376 Posted April 10, 2010 Author Posted April 10, 2010 (edited) Thanks for all of your support. It means a lot to me. Two things prompted me to seek professional help. The first was an article in last Sunday's paper about an Army Captain who had PTSD from out of Iraq. The son of an Army Lt. Gen. General Anger toward everyone and everything in the world? Alcohol Abuse Depression General Anxiety. Perhaps I shouldn't had posted this in this particular forum, but its generally acknowledged that divorce is the second most stressful thing that an individual could go through. The second was my boss calling me in on the carpet telling me, "Either get up and get help or I'm going to fire you!" (He's a retired National Guard First Sergeant.) I can't spell it without going to look it up, and the book is the car, but I've got long term depression, PTSD, and anxiety. The meds have definitely help to "mellow out" smile more, laugh more. From what I'm reading the body produces the "Feel good" chemical of serotonin. When one is under a lot of stress for a prolonged period of time, the body cannot produce enough of it to keep up with the demand. It becomes depleted from the body. The result is stress on top of more stress, and then stress on top of stress ~ coupled with depression and anxiety. Pretty soon you end up in a vicious cycle that feeds upon itself. Some turn to drinking, which is to depression what gasoline is to a bonfire. I don't have a whole lot of stress in the current and present day. I've a low-stress, no stress job, with an undemanding low-stress ~ no stress bosses and co-workers. But I'm still living as though I was still under the stress of back in the day? To quote Charlie Daniels? "Still living in Saigon" I was generally PO, the unemployment rate for returning vets from Iraq and Afghanistan? 24% I've lived being a Rambo coming home from war, "Still Living In Saigon," and Bruce Springsteen "Born In The USA! I've come home to a wife and children of twelve years after the First Gulf War only to being handed divorce papers and told, "I've moved on! So should you! The VA? What a joke! Pyschorigist and pyshiraists in the mitary you tell one of them something it can and will be used against you in a court martial. There's zero confidentialy! So if as two Navy Seals have found out that if you gut punch a terroist in the gut? Your looking at ten years in Leavensworth Military Prison (under the Obama administration) Then there's the good old article of the Uniform Code of Military Justice, (I believe it Article 134 of 164 ~ it been a while.) "Conduct un-becoming" Which covers anything from spitting on the sidewalk, to cursing outloud! I started this post to let others know? There's help out there and don't be afraid to seek it out! Edited April 10, 2010 by Gunny376
PWSX3 Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 Gunny I'm proud of what you are doing. It takes a strong person to look at themselves but trust me the more you look, the more you find, the more you fix, the better you feel...
Author Gunny376 Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 Took me about five or ten minutes to quit crying! Just to type! Lakeside and I had it easy and it was anything but easy! But these Iraqi and Afghanistan Vets? They're sending them back in back Stateside with four or eight months back Stateside! tool
Author Gunny376 Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 (edited) I'm % back to being me! Its xero-dark-thirty, and I'm a little past " oh zero dark thirty" Not out of tha' bush! But a long way past where I was! I just want to get "Home!: Edited April 13, 2010 by Gunny376
trippi1432 Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 Hang in there Gunny. The therapy, the AD's....you have to keep doing it for it be effective, but you will get there. You know that. Keep it up. Hugs to you :love::love:
PWSX3 Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 You have to give it time, you know that word I hate! (patience) DON'T GIVE UP!!!! We are all proud of what you are doing Gunny, you are in my prayers my friend. Someone shared with me, that crying is God's way of cleaning us from the inside out!!!!! You do feel better after shedding a few tears.
whichwayisup Posted April 13, 2010 Posted April 13, 2010 You're such a pillar of strength and very inspirational. Don't ever forget that Gunny!
Author Gunny376 Posted April 14, 2010 Author Posted April 14, 2010 Well the landlord gave me a talking too, and said I had to dismantle the olive drab sand bags around the place, take up the claymore mines, and the Concettina wire had to go. And that I couldn't sit out on the porch in my skivvies sharpening my Marine K-bar combat knife. Seriously thanks for all of the PM's and posts. Sometimes things just keep building, and building, and building and building, and you try and trug on, solider on, Marine on! Suck it up, tough it out, deal with. move on. Like the old man that served most of his life in prison in Shakhank Redemption? That ended up getting out at the end of his years bagging groceries in a grocery store? I realized that I've been "institutionalized" ~ back then I was somebody, I was a hero. Now out here I'm just a somebody that like all others? Is just a no body. Oh I can improvise, adapt and overcome ~ I've been trained and conditioned for that. And I'm doing that! The Corps trained and adapted me well!
You Go Girl Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 You know what's really cool about you gunny? That you were trained to be a hard-ass but that you connect very well with your humanitarian side. Gotta love that in you.
tnttim Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 You still are a hero, and always will be. Never let anyone or anything take that away from, not even yourself. You're a fcking hero.
Steadfast Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 You're a giver Guns. Givers sometime get the short end and really feel it. But it all evens out. Really, it does. You've been successful in most ways through your life...planned and handled it the way you should. I'm confident this will be no different. It's always harder when it's personal as that often goes on the back burner. FWIW, we're here for you now. Know that.
julkat Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 Gunny, big hugs from this girl in a little town in Canada. You have given advice that I have read, considered, and adopted in the last few years. You never know who you are inspiring! Thanks for all you have done for us. Take care of you. As said before, honor life by living it. Darlene
Author Gunny376 Posted April 17, 2010 Author Posted April 17, 2010 You're a giver Guns. Givers sometime get the short end and really feel it. But it all evens out. Really, it does. You've been successful in most ways through your life...planned and handled it the way you should. I'm confident this will be no different. It's always harder when it's personal as that often goes on the back burner. FWIW, we're here for you now. Know that. "Ask not what your country can do for you! But what you can do for your country!" Yea that would be me. I had thought about thinking a vacation from LS, while I work on myslef, going on the back forty to spend sometime with myself. Going and seeing a pyschologist, and MD was the best descison I ever made. Should have done it years ago. Getting on the meds has gotten me back to the person that I was twenty-five years ago? Back before I went through all the BS that I've gone through the last twenty-five years That was the guy grilling on the grill with grill with the wife, with the grass cut, the chores dones and the kids running through the sprinkler for fun! I'm calmer, less angry, less PO'd, easier to get along with, more socialable, and as my boss told co-workers, "More comfrotable in my own skin!" The med's help me to sleep and dream 'happy' dreams, not of digging dead bodies out of the rubble, screaming for medics, feeling helpless holding someone as they slip away. Begging them to hold on! The med's help me to keep from spending endless nights trying to sleep staring at the ceiling? I wonder sometimes if I'm just not spent and used up goods, no longer fit for so called "nomal" society? Songs like Bruce Sprienstein's "Born In The USA!" and Charlie Daniels "Still Living In Saigon" come to mind. Me? I'm doing OK, and getting better!
Author Gunny376 Posted April 17, 2010 Author Posted April 17, 2010 (edited) BTW Thanks for all of your support! I'm going cold turkey on drinking, and the physical withdrawal is a mother-trucker I'm here to tell you! Edited April 17, 2010 by Gunny376
Author Gunny376 Posted April 17, 2010 Author Posted April 17, 2010 Gunny, big hugs from this girl in a little town in Canada. You have given advice that I have read, considered, and adopted in the last few years. You never know who you are inspiring! Thanks for all you have done for us. Take care of you. As said before, honor life by living it. Darlene Glad I was able to help!
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