Gunny376 Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 So I did it! I went and saw a psychologist! He tells me? Yep you've got it! Depression/anxiety/ PTSD! Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome Depression! Anger, depression, anxiety! WTF? I'm sitting around waiting for a car to backfire to hit tha' ground? I spend most nights sleepless and restless? So tomorrow I go and see my Primary Care Provider and get my "Happy Pills! SorryI let you all down! It was either that or break down!
threebyfate Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Why are you sorry Gunny? It`s okay to not always be 100% up. It`s time that you took care of yourself and your own needs. I`m glad that you finally took the step to get help. It`s okay to need help. It really is and for all the times you`ve been here for many members, we`re here for you too.
Trimmer Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome Depression! Anger, depression, anxiety! WTF? I'm sitting around waiting for a car to backfire to hit tha' ground? I spend most nights sleepless and restless? So tomorrow I go and see my Primary Care Provider and get my "Happy Pills! Sorry I let you all down! It was either that or break down! Gunny - I agree with TBF above - it upsets me to think you are apologizing. You don't owe me/us anything - you don't have to be the tough guy about this. I already know you can handle things the rest of us will never get anywhere close to. But it's OK not to be superhuman - it may seem strange to you, but it's OK to need help. Actually, I respect you for it. So, respectfully, I don't accept your apology, because I don't believe you owe one to me or anyone else about this. I would be more concerned about you if you saw that you needed some help, but you locked yourself down and refused to seek it out. That would be the tough guy, spiralling down his own drain. I know you're a tough guy, but you aren't that guy, are you? You haven't let me down - not by a long shot, sir.
Author Gunny376 Posted April 8, 2010 Author Posted April 8, 2010 I lost some good men ~some damn good men out of the Bronx, St. Louis, L.A. in Beruit. Boulder, CO. Saint Louis, Mo! Kansas City! Omaha! Marines all! And Wonen Marrines! Douglas! Yesyardness! Cheeyheey! Dexteer!
Author Gunny376 Posted April 8, 2010 Author Posted April 8, 2010 Anyway! This isn't about me! This is about helping the kid that I was! That's right! The kid that I was that's coming back from Afghanitain or Iraq! The kid I was twenty or thirty years ago! The hurt, angry, deprived,........................................................ "Born In The USA"
Trimmer Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Gunny - I wouldn't ever suggest that you should "let go," because I know you will honor these Marines forever. But I do hope for you that you find a way to lighten the load you are carrying, because you can't bear the weight forever. You deserve to relax, to sleep, to stand down, and you can still hold them in your heart and your memory, and certainly I know that no matter what, you will always honor them to your core. I've heard you say "some gave all". I'm on shaky ground commenting because I haven't served, but I believe among the reasons for that are so that others could live, yes? And if anyone deserves that, it's certainly the brothers who also gave, serving there alongside. So don't think you have to keep yourself caged for the rest of your life - don't think that if you release the weight, you've somehow let go or forgotten them. Honor your Marines by living.
threebyfate Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Honor your Marines by living.Are you listening Gunny? Remember them in your heart, don`t carry their weight on your shoulders.
TaraMaiden Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 So I did it! I went and saw a psychologist! He tells me? Yep you've got it! Depression/anxiety/ PTSD! Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome Depression! Hell, I could have told you that! You didn't already know? All the exclamation marks. Really, I'm honestly surprised nobody had guessed this. Truly. Anger, depression, anxiety! WTF? Not really surprising though, is it? (. . .) So tomorrow I go and see my Primary Care Provider and get my "Happy Pills! SorryI let you all down! It was either that or break down! Gunny, you let nobody down. Really, I'm astonished this is only coming to light now. If this serves any purpose, it serves to show with what abandon those in charge gleefully deploy waves of troops, upon troops, upon troops to fight their wars, but then supply woefully inadequate funds for their care, well-being and health, once the damage is done. Their health and long-term security is not focussed on enough in my view. The insidious damage done to the mental health of these countless young men and women is incalculable. To think that even today, some military factions are still fighting for pension and care rights is simply inhumanly obscene. Gunny, hang in there.
You Go Girl Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Wow Gunny, kudos to you! Those that have passed would be so glad to see you lighten this load a bit--and anything you can do to improve your quality of life. They'd be rooting for you as much as we are. They would want you to be free as much as possible of the burden so that you can live on, and enjoy life--what they gave their lives for! It's easier so often to help others than to help ourselves--you took a big step. Just about bringing tears to my eyes! And gosh, forget about apologizing...for what? Improving your life? Heck, no apology needed there.
Author Gunny376 Posted April 8, 2010 Author Posted April 8, 2010 Marines, military? They just don't do psyche's! Its just not done. There's a stigma of mental and emotional weakness attached to it. I only finally went when I got called onto the carpet by my civilian boss (a retired Army National Guard Master Sergeant) and read and article in the newspaper about an regular Army Captain with PTSD ~ the son of a Lt. Gen. My PTSD's manifested itself in general overall anger. Think Lt. Dan in a hurricane in the movie "Forrest Gump" I was surprised to find when my psychologist told me, "Yea, I get a lot of referrals from ______________ and ____________ (military bases forty miles or so nearby) You see if you speak to a military psych? Anything you say? Can and will be used against you in a court martial. There are currently two Navy SEALS under court martial for gut punching a Big time terriorist. My point in even posting this is to encourage others to not to hesitate to reach out and get help. Sometimes you just can't carry the load alone and by yourself. And yea! Its Okay to let yourself cry a tear or two.
Owl Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Don't feel bad, Gunny. Been there too, my friend. I've been diagnosed twice in my life for PTSD. Once about five years after my....interesting career...while I was still in the military. At that time it manifested as depression/anger. I went through months of counseling and treatment to get it under control. The second time was about six months after my wife's EA. That time it showed up as depression/anger/anxiety. It was both easier and tougher...easier because I recognized it a lot earlier and sought help...harder because it just hit harder the second time. The symptoms were worse, compounded by what I'd gone through before. Hang in there man. Don't feel shame for dealing with stuff....it's a sign of strength when a man takes steps to solve his problems.
Nomad1 Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 I don't have a problem with men, or women for that matter, shedding tears. Hey these are humanising qualities that we, as humans do possess, despite the distorted constructions of masculinities that people in all societies are socialised into. What I have a problem with is the medical categories that have been created by pseudo-science, eg.PTD, ADD and the like. It is the legacy of the Enlightenment, when in attempt to distance itself from religion and tradition, so-called developed societies began to apply the tools of natural science to the study of human beings. The state began to use this as a form of power to control the working classes. eg, give them a few pills to return them to normality, otherwise they will start another revolution! Madness is an invention. There was a time when so-called mad people were considered to have wisdom. Gunny, you did what you did because you had to do it. You came from a working class background, that is why you ended up in the army (in most cases at least). introspection, reflection, remorse are part of life. Crying does not make you any more or less of a human being. People are not essentially good, bad, strong or weak. They can be all those things in response to their material conditions. Take care man Nomad1
sumdude Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Glad you finally went Gunny. You deserve to find a way to contentment. You have nothing to apologize for. If anything, once again you set a good example! I'm slowly pulling out of a deep funk myself, probably should see someone too.
unsureLP Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Good for you Gunny. You're always taking care of us here with sound, grounded advice. It's time to take care of yourself too.
Kasan Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 I'm not surprised in the least Gunny! I've noticed a difference in your postings since your friend died. Nothing wrong with reaching out for a helping hand in our quest to find a little peace. Once again, you are setting a great example to all that have come before you, and all that will come after.
Trimmer Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 ...that is why you ended up in the army ... Awww, come on, don't make the guy feel worse! He's just jokin', Gunny...
Owl Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 I don't have a problem with men, or women for that matter, shedding tears. Hey these are humanising qualities that we, as humans do possess, despite the distorted constructions of masculinities that people in all societies are socialised into. What I have a problem with is the medical categories that have been created by pseudo-science, eg.PTD, ADD and the like. It is the legacy of the Enlightenment, when in attempt to distance itself from religion and tradition, so-called developed societies began to apply the tools of natural science to the study of human beings. The state began to use this as a form of power to control the working classes. eg, give them a few pills to return them to normality, otherwise they will start another revolution! Madness is an invention. There was a time when so-called mad people were considered to have wisdom. Gunny, you did what you did because you had to do it. You came from a working class background, that is why you ended up in the army (in most cases at least). introspection, reflection, remorse are part of life. Crying does not make you any more or less of a human being. People are not essentially good, bad, strong or weak. They can be all those things in response to their material conditions. Take care man Nomad1 Nomad, why does it seem like every issue described on these boards appears to be rooted in someone's attempt to control another? In other threads you've gone on about men controlling women, etc... You seem to have a focus on how we were somehow controlled in the past, causing us to live horribly in the present. I just struggle with how you always seem to bring this kind of thing up in your posts, or so its seemed to me lately.
nobmagnet Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Gunny, Dont you ever apologise. I am releived you are mending the BOY. My grandfather served in WW2 and was in the d-day landings (dd + 4) he signed up when he was 16 and lied about his age, an only son to a widow too. He was a dispatch rider and saw stuff that beggared belife, lost many many dear freinds and it affected him for the best part of his life. In fact he was a complete scary git for all my childhood and my mothers life until he reached 75 and we took him to Normandy as a family, his son and daughter plus spouses, his wife, all of his grandchildren and two great grandchildren. He showed us the route he took and told some tame stories with a certain sick humour that they needed:o One night it was myself, my cousin and my Dad and we took him for a few beers (he was never allowed to pay for anything at the bar (as the bar owners honour the Veterans ) And after a few beers he opened up for the first time about the terror fear and sickness of his time during the war. he shed some tears and in his own admittance it was the first time ever. We gained such an insight to the horror of war and our respect (which was always there anyway) grew even more. All the nastyness he expressed as a father, grandad, husband ect clicked into place for us all. he said on his return from the war (he served 6 years) He found mundane issusses irritating and pathetic. He was angry at the world. He threw himself into work and that helped him he said but he was irritated easily. From that trip onwards he changed. became more forgiving and loving and such a wonderful man. He waited till he was 75 Gunny. Lets hope you can have more inner peace long before that soldier boy. I have never said on LS how proud I am for you and all the ex service men/women and present soldiers serving us all. My deepest thanks :love: You are an inspiration to us all. And you are always so brilliant with your advice on here. LOVE YA GUNNY. Nobby xxxxx
Nomad1 Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Hey Owl, I know I think out of the box sometimes and ought to keep my thoughts to myself so that they do not get misconstrued. It is never my intention to offend anyone. However, it is always the working class men and women who get short changed. Do you think that a retired Chief of Staff looses sleep over the devastating effects of past miscalculations that led to loss of human life? I think s/he would normally have so many distractions eg, the kind that wealth can provide. What I am really saying is that poorer people pay an even bigger price at times of crisis. I better shut up now!
nobmagnet Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Recon you should love. All I can hear is a bottom burp coming out of your mouth Nobby
Nomad1 Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Nobmagnet? Nobrepellant more like! That's got to be a northern lass, init darling?
Owl Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Hey Owl, I know I think out of the box sometimes and ought to keep my thoughts to myself so that they do not get misconstrued. It is never my intention to offend anyone. However, it is always the working class men and women who get short changed. Do you think that a retired Chief of Staff looses sleep over the devastating effects of past miscalculations that led to loss of human life? I think s/he would normally have so many distractions eg, the kind that wealth can provide. What I am really saying is that poorer people pay an even bigger price at times of crisis. I better shut up now! I understand what you're saying, but I struggle to see how this has any real life bearing on Gunny's recent diagnosis and revelations. It doesn't matter to him whether or not some high-paid general suffers from PTSD or not, nor is it really pertaining to raise the idea that this is all somehow tied to the suppression of the working man back in the dark ages. And I'd be willing to bet you a Mountain Dew that Gunny doesn't care about what anyone else does/did with their lives...what matters to Gunny is what he went through, and how he copes with it now. My money says that if Gunny could go back in time, he still wouldn't have made a change that would have sent someone else into combat in his place. Just as I'd choose to fight again today if it meant that my sons wouldn't have to. Gunny...tell this old soldier to shut up and go away if I'm mis-speaking for you, my friend.
threebyfate Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Just checking in today to throw some positive vibes your way, Gunny!
nobmagnet Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Nomad, darling no........ porkie pis are mine. gunny xxxxxx nobby xx:love:
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